First 30 Days Blog

Ariane’s Four Talks on Change

2013-05-17T11:39:56Z

Hello! I’ve just added to YouTube four (4) videos that I wanted to share on Navigating Change. Some of them are nice and short, only five minutes long. If you’ve got a cup of tea and your journal, you can watch the hour-long talk I recently gave on “The 9 Principles of Change,” to a group of 500 executives. I cover personal, professional, health, family, relationship and financial changes. Enjoy and please share with anyone you know who is going through a change, thinking about a change, struggling or helping someone else with a change!

Click here to view Ariane’s Overview of Change.

Click here to view Ariane’s Questions about Change.

Click here to view Ariane’s The First Principle of Change.

Click here to view Ariane’s The 9 Principles of Change.

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For Women Who Want to Be Leaders: Change Begins and Ends with You

2013-05-16T11:45:09Z

Recently, I attended a symposium focused on women entrepreneurs. The big questions were: Why aren’t there more women entrepreneurs? More women CEOs? More women at the top?

Of course, the first target of discussion was men. They are the problem.

Ladies—this is wrong and you know it.

As I listened to cries of “men don’t treat us as equals in the board room”, and “they don’t take us seriously,” the first reason came to mind: it’s how we perceive ourselves that matters. Trust me, I’ve chaired enough high powered meetings where I’ve been the only woman, and, anyone who knows me knows I can hold my own. That’s because I don’t look around the room and say—“wow, these are all high-powered men.” I just see them as colleagues, teammates, equals.

We are never a minority, unless we think like one.

So, change #1: Think of yourself as an equal. Stop walking into the board room with preconceived ideas, a chip on your shoulder, or looking for differences. We are all created equal.

Now—back to the meeting….. While there was a loud cry of inequality, a female law partner, who headed the panel, told a different story.

This woman spoke of her experience as an associate moving up the ranks, always being backstabbed by other women associates. She vowed that when she made it big, she would help other women, because she knew what it felt like to be hurt. I’ve seen her in action. She kept her promise.

Moral of the story: once you storm the citadel, don’t shut the gates behind you.

Which brings me to change #2: Women need to be better team players. Maybe the guys have an advantage because they’ve played more team sports as kids. I’m not sure. I am sure that leaders need to be exemplary team players. In some of the talks I’ve given, we’ve discussed great attributes of team players, and how to assess ourselves. The top descriptions are: reliable, supportive, positive, adaptable and accessible. Does this describe you? If it doesn’t, then remember: the only person you control is you. Your thoughts. Your behavior. That’s how you become a better you, a better teammate, a better leader.

And this brings me to change #3: We need to stop trying to change, correct—or should I say, “fix”—other people. C’mon—if you have a husband, boyfriend, or significant other, you know what I’m talking about.

I was just in a creative seminar where we were broken out into groups. My group contained four men, one other woman, and me. Our task was to come up with our own book titles, and then help each other develop chapters. We were to get our creative juices flowing by collaboration and free thinking—no editing our thoughts. The guys shared ideas without any judgment. Then the other woman chimed in. Many of her ideas were great, but, she spoiled it by constantly criticizing the way I spoke. She told me not to start any of my sentences with the word “but”, and constantly interrupted my creative flow by trying to correct me. But, I wasn’t looking for her to change me. I was looking for her to help me.

You see, no matter how much we might try, the only people we can control and change are ourselves. We can’t control men, the world, injustice and bad things that happen to us. The only things we have power over are our own thoughts and actions.

Taking control of ourselves in a more supportive and less critical way gives us more confidence and self esteem. That’s what it’s really all about.

When we change ourselves for the better, and feel good about who we are, there are no barriers. Positive change begins and ends with us. And there are no ifs, ands, or buts about it!

Michelle Kerrigan is an expert consultant and coach who specializes in helping clients achieve workplace success by developing the practical skills they need to improve their confidence, performance and productivity. More at www.michellekerriganinc.com and www.workplaceconfidence.com.

What to Expect When You’re in Rehab

2013-05-16T11:44:14Z

They say that when it comes to drug addiction, the hardest part is admitting that you have a problem. That may or may not be true, but whatever the case, once you’re willing to work to change your life, you’re at least facing in the right direction. If you’ve become addicted to dangerous substances, this might mean making the decision to enroll yourself in a drug rehabilitation program. But even though rehab may be the only viable path back to a happy life free of chemical dependency, many sufferers chose not to attend because they have no idea what to expect. In 2009, only 2.6 million—11.2 percent of those who needed treatment—chose to enroll at a specialty facility. So, for those who think that rehab might be the answer, here’s a quick rundown of what’s waiting for you when you decide to seek professional help in fighting your addiction.

First off, rehab isn’t nearly as prison-like as it is often depicted on film and television; you’re not going to be wrapped in a straightjacket and locked in a padded room until the chemicals have left your system. In fact, one thing that many people don’t realize is that every person who enrolls in reab is free to leave at any time. Honestly, you can just grab your things and walk out the door. Even if you’ve been ordered by a judge to attend rehab, you can still leave. Of course, there may be consequences that you’ll have to deal with (including possible jail-time), but at no point will a guard tackle you and drag you screaming back into your room.

Once you arrive, you’ll be be interviewed by a counselor so that the medical staff can assess what kind of treatment will work best for you. Remember, these people are trying to help you, so the more information you can give them the better. Now is not the time to be guarded or embarrassed; be totally honest with them and don’t omit anything. Certain medical tests, such as blood work or urine tests might also be required. This process will not only allow the center to determine the best approach to helping you overcome your addiction, but will also let them know how long your treatment should be.

The next step involves removing the drugs from your system. This is commonly known as detoxification. This can be done a variety of different ways. Often times medications are used to help the patient come down from the chemical dependency slowly, so that withdrawal symptoms don’t become too intense. Other facilities may take the “cold turkey” approach, and simply provide the patient with a safe and monitored environment in which to weather the storm. However, many clinics are actually requiring that a patient detoxify before being allowed to enroll.

Detoxification is an important step in overcoming addiction, but it is not the only step. Detoxification by itself is not treatment. There are more components to addiction than just the physical dependency. Drug addiction (and alcohol is as much of a drug as anything that can be snorted, smoked, or injected) also occurs in the mind. So, the next step at most rehab centers is one that focuses on education. The patient is trained to recognize his or her addiction for what it really is. It is at this stage that patient-denial is confronted and defeated. Patients are also taught about the physical impact that drug use has upon their bodies, and are forced to confront the reality of the effect drug use has on family and society.

Next, you can probably count on therapy sessions designed to teach you how to function normally without drugs. These sessions may be held on an individual basis (one-on-one with a trained counselor), or in a group setting. Group sessions will allow you to recognize that you’re not alone in your struggle, and will also give you a chance to connect with and support/be supported by others who are facing similar problems.

Additionally, studies have shown that including family members in the treatment process significantly increases the likelihood that a patient will be able to remain clean and sober. Not only does it help to have the support of loved ones, but it is also important that the family members be educated as to the best ways to help you get well.

Once your time in the rehab center is over, you’ll still be expected to continue the program on your own. Your counselor may recommend additional, regular therapy sessions or medical treatment. You’ll be expected to be able to recognize and avoid situations that may trigger a relapse.
Perhaps the most important thing to remember about rehab is that the staff is there to help you. They want you to be comfortable, and they hope to see you make a full recovery, so don’t fight them. Trust in their expertise, and always keep your eye on the prize. A sober life is possible, but you’ll have to work for it.

About the Author: Hyrum Taffer is a freelance writer with a great deal of experience in drug addiction/recovery. After counseling in an Arkansas drug rehab and gaining much personal experience and a lot of research, Hyrum became dedicated to help others benefit from his writing.

Workplace Confidence: Quick Tips in Career Confidence

2013-05-04T13:54:04Z

I spoke at SUNY Purchase recently, and it was painfully obvious how much students need help as they get ready to enter the corporate world.

So, here are a few quick tips from that discussion:

—Always reach out and shake hands when you are meeting someone for the first time, and look them in the eye. Eye-to-eye contact establishes trust. And dress appropriately–-meaning business attire. Companies see you as an extension of their brand, so they want someone who will represent them well.

—In today’s business world, most professionals will experience change at alarming rates, and will probably change careers multiple times. So, as you are your own brand (You Inc.), from your very first job to your very last, you want to make a great impression on everyone you work with. I recently ran into a top executive I worked with at Sony who I haven’t seen in years. He didn’t remember my name right away, but he beamed because he remembered how he felt about working with me—terrific! My brand brought back good memories for him, and he immediately asked for my card.

—Never think you’re too good for any job you start in. No matter how menial, you want to do your best and leave a good impression. You never know if you will meet these same people later in your career. Trust me–it happens. So, don’t have an attitude of “I’m too good for this position.” Take it for the experience it is—have more gratitude than attitude.

—There is opportunity everywhere, so be open and receptive! I know of a consultant who was asked to speak at a meeting that he thought inconsequential. However, he decided to do it as a favor. There was a woman in the audience who liked his message and hooked him up with her husband. P.S.: That little speech brought him 400K worth of business.

A lot more came from that talk—look for more tips to come!

And–good luck out there!!!

For over 25 years, Michelle Kerrigan has been helping clients achieve workplace success by developing the practical skills they need to improve their confidence, performance and productivity. Based on her own leadership experiences, Michelle provides an invaluable road map for conquering fear and doubt, navigating change, and solving day-to-day challenges. Michelle also writes and speaks about the impact self esteem has on success, and is currently working on a series for public TV about workplace confidence. More at www.workplaceconfidence.com and www.michellekerriganinc.com.

What Good Branding Can Do for a Company

2013-05-04T13:53:11Z

A brand is defined as a name, logo or other physical symbol that separates one company’s product from those of others. This is what makes branding such an important part of any successful business today. Your brand is what sets you apart from the competition. It is what sets the tone for the company’s image and the personality that you want to convey. It can do more for a business than almost any other single thing.

Good Branding Creates Unity

No business can succeed if it is not unified. There are a number of ways to create unity within a company, but it gets harder as a company gets bigger. Even with the largest companies however, if the company has a good brand and a clear mission, that alone can be enough to unify the employees. As a business owner, one of the best things that you can do is to create the sort of brand that your employees will be proud to wear on their name tags and on their shirts.

Creating A Sense of Professionalism

A professional demeanor is important for any business. It is hard to be taken seriously in a burgeoning marketplace, and customers and clients will lean more towards businesses who portray the image of the highest professionalism and best quality available. This is hard to do if you are working out of a nondescript building and handing out business cards branded with clipart. Even just a sign with your very own logo can be enough to give your company headquarters a professional touch.

Marketing

The most obvious effect of a good brand is that it greatly improves marketing efforts. Once you have a solid brand, you can place it on office walls, stationery, clothing, name tags, custom banners, car decals, and anything else. The better your brand, the more sought after it will become. Sometimes a brand can become so popular, people will pay to advertise it – by buying and wearing clothes that display your brand, or bumper stickers for their car.

Loyalty

And this sort of phenomenon is a part of what is known as brand loyalty. Brand loyalty can be a powerful force in today’s marketplace. When people are forced to choose between many products offering a similar service, they often go for the “known” brand, or the brand that they trust. Think of the example of British soccer team Chelsea FC. Chelsea’s kit manufacturer Adidas recently started preorders for next year’s jerseys. Adidas launched an entire campaign based around Chelsea fans’ loyalty to the Chelsea brand. They have not even released the design yet. Although sports teams are different, this kind of loyalty can follow other franchises just as easily.

From Small Startup To Main Player

The power of a good brand is so strong that it can be the difference between a startup staying small, and becoming a big business. A company is irrevocably linked with its brand, for better or for worse. So if you want a good company, create a good brand.

About the Author: Robert Cordray is a freelance writer and expert in business, marketing and branding. With over 20 years of business experience, Robert is now retired and hopes others can benefit from his writing.

Create a De-stressing Zone in Your Home

2013-04-30T23:08:06Z

It’s been a long day. You pull into your garage tired, frazzled and really needing to unwind. But, instead of a peaceful oasis, you walk through the door into yet another stressful environment. Maybe it’s the waiting stack of bills, the bright lights that give you a headache, or overwhelming clutter. Whatever it is for you, home is anything but relaxing after a long day.

If this describes your home, it can be almost impossible to unwind from the stress of the day. Stress—caused by things like a difficult job, challenging relationships, or financial problems—can cause many health problems including high blood pressure, back pain and headaches. And, of course, stress zaps the joy right out of your life by making you moody, unhappy, tired and without energy. That’s no way to live!

Stop the cycle of stress in your life by creating a de-stressing zone in your home where you can relax and rejuvenate. Don’t take on your whole house in the first 30 days—that might just stress you out even more! Instead, focus on one or two key areas like your bedroom, den, or breakfast nook and make some simple, affordable changes that will have a big impact on your quality of life.

Get rid of the clutter—the visual stimulation of stacks of “stuff” everywhere is anything but relaxing. It can make you feel overwhelmed and discouraged. Clutter also complicates your life by making cleaning more of a chore and making it hard to find things like your car keys, the remote, or that book you want to read. Simplify your stuff and de-clutter!

Hide technology—today few people leave work at the office. In order to really relax at home you need to create a technology-free zone—a throwback to simpler times where you can enjoy a good book or cup of tea without obsessively checking your email. Restrict your work phone and laptop to a specific spot and turn them off for at least an hour every evening. Install a hidden TV that you can operate with a lift mechanism and hide other technology in cabinets when they aren’t being used.

Create comfort—stiff formal dining sets and old armchairs have one thing in common—they aren’t comfortable! Identify the areas in your house where you want to unwind and relax and choose comfortable furniture—a great, cozy chair with a warm blanket to curl up with a book, or a charming bistro set by the window to enjoy your morning coffee or dinner.

Soothe yourself—the body and mind are naturally soothed by certain colors and sounds. Use these elements in your home to help you unconsciously unwind. Choose neutral paint colors rather than bright stimulating ones. You can also buy small, very affordable water features that add a gentle bubbling sound, which is naturally relaxing. Fresh flowers and natural lighting can make your space feel energized and happy. Use candles to fill your space with warm vanilla scents.

Decorate for you—decorate with things you really love. Hang a favorite piece of artwork in your entryway. Create a photo wall as a focal point with your favorite pictures of people, places and pets you love. If you don’t like your cousin Mildred, by all means don’t hang a picture of her to bring you down every day!

Our mind and body are constantly stimulated by what we see, hear, feel and smell. These elements in our home have a huge impact on our mood, stress level and even health. By making a calming de-stressing zone in your home you can begin to live a less stressful, more enjoyable life.

Adjusting to Life After Drug Rehab

2013-04-25T22:40:13Z

Drug addiction is one of the most difficult things to deal with. Even more difficult than the addiction itself is accepting that you need help and taking the necessary steps to recovery. For anyone who has made those steps and visited rehab, the hardest part is over. But many people are so focused on rehab and getting clean, nobody really thinks about what comes next. The National Institute on Drug Abuse estimates that 40-60 percent of recovering drug
addicts will relapse, which is similar to the relapse rates of other chronic illnesses. This is largely because people are not prepared to cope with the drastic change in their lives, and so when they leave rehab, they do not know how to react to a life that is so different from the one that they knew before going in. Here is some advice for someone who is trying to adjust to life after rehab.

Keep up Good Habits

Rehab will no doubt have helped you quit drugs by encouraging a healthy lifestyle and replacing your bad habits with good ones. The first step to adjusting to life after rehab is making sure that you keep up with your good habits. Such things as going to therapy and group meetings can make a huge difference towards the success of your recovery, and also help you to network with people who understand what you are going through and can offer help when you need it.

Stay Healthy

Part of maintaining your good habits is living a healthy lifestyle. Taking care of yourself physically is important, as bad habits can trigger cravings. Avoid staying up too late, not getting enough sleep, skipping meals, eating junk food, and spending time on things or people who make you angry, upset, or depressed. A clean body and a clean mind will encourage a happy heart, and make it a lot easier not to relapse.

Keep Busy

If you spend most of your time doing nothing, you will eventually find negative ways to fill your time. Come up with some goals and a plan to achieve them, starting as soon as you get out of rehab. Make sure that they are positive and achievable. Make some professional goals to help you get back into work, whether it is at your old job or looking for a new job. Come up with a realistic life plan that you can start working on to keep busy.

Reach Out to People

Loneliness can also trigger a relapse, so make sure that you surround yourself with positive people. You may have to cut yourself off from any people who you knew before rehab, who encouraged your habit. Instead reach out to people such as friends and family who are close and supportive.

Get Past Setbacks

There may come a time when you do relapse. The most important thing is that you do not let such problems get to you. If you relapse, don’t let it turn back into a full blown addiction. If 60 percent of addicts relapse, you are in the majority, so don’t beat yourself up about it. What really matters is how you respond afterwards. Pick yourself up again and get back on track. Remember, the hardest part is over.

About the Author: Hyrum Taffer is a freelance writer with a great deal of experience in drug addiction/recovery. Through much personal experience with a California drug rehab and a lot of research, Hyrum hopes others can benefit from his writing.

Social Media vs. Social Reality: How to “Like” Your Life

2013-04-15T09:10:05Z

“I just cancelled my Facebook account—it was making me feel too depressed reading everyone else’s posts. In comparison to them, I feel like such a failure.”

I’m hearing this type of complaint more often these days. The above quote came from a young college student. She is kind, fun, top of her class, passionate about her subject—filmmaking—and has a paid internship doing what she loves. And yet, social media is making her feel inadequate. Why?

I’m not a big advocate for Facebook, but I enjoy connecting and keeping up with people I like and respect. Like most, I don’t have thousands of friends, and this should tell you something.

Actually, no one really does. Social media and social reality are two very different animals. Never forget that.

So, here are a few things I’d like to share:

Social media is the one place where you actually edit your life. Your audience gets to see what you want them to see. No one has the perfect life, and thank God for that! It keeps life interesting. Each of us has successes and failures.

Think: If all the updates you saw on Facebook were about failure—would you really want that? Now, that would be depressing! (I’m picturing all the prozac and xanax ads and continuous photos of Woody Allen running alongside my feed. Oy!)

Success is different for everyone. You define it—not some arbitrary group. For some, it’s living a healthy, long life. For others, it’s having a family or career they love, or owning beautiful (and expensive) things.

If people on Facebook are really your friends, then be happy for them. If not, then delete them. Period, amen. Remember—you get to edit your life here too.

Use social media as motivation to get what you really want. Stop wasting time browsing on Facebook with your nose pressed up against the glass. Ask your friends how they got where they are and how they can help you. Focus less on what others are doing and more on what you want.

Keep a list of what you have in your life and review it and add to it often. Be grateful. I bet there’s more on that list than you give yourself credit for.

Perhaps some friends whose lives you want may really want what you have. What’s that saying?….the grass is always greener…

Focus your efforts on defining success and pursuing it. That’s the only way you’ll get there. And, don’t stop to edit yourself. That’s the beauty of reality—it’s a roller coaster ride of twists and turns and successes and failures. So, quit stalling and get on board! That’s what life is really all about.

Now—can I get a thumbs up here, huh??

For over 25 years, Michelle Kerrigan has been helping businesses and private clients achieve workplace success by developing the practical skills they need to improve their confidence. Based on her own leadership experiences, Michelle provides an invaluable road map for conquering fear and doubt, navigating change, and solving day-to-day challenges. Michelle also writes and speaks about the impact self esteem has on success, and is currently working on a series for public TV about workplace confidence. More at www.workplaceconfidence.com and www.michellekerriganinc.com.

Fun Entertainment Options for New Families

2013-04-13T22:16:00Z

Starting a new family is one of the most important and rewarding things you can do in your life. Unfortunately, it also means that the entertainment lifestyle you lived with your spouse before you had children is long gone. You and your significant other can only go out to romantic restaurants, take road trips into the country and watch adult television programs if you have the cash to afford a babysitter.

But it’s not all bad. Spending time with your family is a rewarding experience that helps the entire family grow closer together. If you are worried about spending your days watching Barney and spending your nights at Chuck E. Cheese, there are plenty of deals available online that allow you to enjoy the activities your partake in as a family without the need to hire a babysitter or bug grandma.

Science Experiments

Exploring the natural universe is one of the most affordable ways you can entertain yourself and your family. Codes for online stores educational stores are available that allow you to build simple equipment that your children can experiment with over and over again. Whether you want to set up a safe and secure miniature chemistry lab, a nature observatory in your backyard, or a simple construction set to teach the elements of physics, you will have fun guiding your children through the steps while they have fun while they learn the principles of science.

Camping Trips

A camping trip is an adventure that the whole family can enjoy. With the right equipment and the right location, it can be a cheap weekend getaway and a chance for the entire family to discover a simpler form of living. If you are new to the camping experience, it is essential to stock up on supplies such as tents, clothing, tools and accessories to have a memorable experience. You can find deals on used equipment to save cash on camping essentials that will give your family the best outdoor experience possible.

Educational Game Nights

Board games are a great way to help educate your children and have fun at the same time. Instead of sitting your kids in front of the television to play Xbox for hours on end, sit them at the table to play a classic board game. Online coupons and codes for online stores are available for excellent savings on games like Monopoly which teaches the basics of capitalism, Scrabble which teaches vocabulary and spelling, and Jenga which can lead to an increased interest in engineering. Even if you do not play board games, playing classic card games can develop skills that are useful in the future.

Discovering New Technology

It is common knowledge that your children will be better at technology than you. Why not try to keep up by learning the latest technology with them? More and more parents are relying on tablets and other accessories to take the place of more traditional arts and crafts projects. Get to know your creative side by finding promo codes for online stores that sell Stylus pens for iPads and Android tablets that allow you to paint on popular apps. If you are into social networking, we have covered new trends where moms create profiles for their children on niche social media sites dedicated to making their children social butterflies at an early age.

Family entertainment is about learning and growing together. By experiencing these activities together you will share common experiences and begin to bond with each other in ways that are much better than just sitting in front of the television and much cheaper than hiring a babysitter.

Corporate Breakup Rule #2: Don’t Get Caught Like a Deer in the Headlights

2013-04-05T20:29:46Z

Life is about change. Corporate life is about more change.

The more grounded you are in your ability to navigate change, the more confident you will be.

So, here’s corporate breakup rule #2: Don’t get caught like a deer in the headlights when change—especially unwanted change, like getting laid off—hits.

Be comfortable with change. Expect it. Prepare for it. Keep your network alive and well.

Most people get complacent once they have a job. They stop networking. They think “Why bother?”

Don’t be one of them. Even if it’s just a quick phone call or cup of coffee, keep those relationship lines open and active at all times.

Remember:

There is no such thing as job security anymore. Change is now rapid and constant.

In this world of change, who doesn’t need more friends for support?

More companies are hiring based on recommendations. (it’s like one big facebook out there!)

Business development is about relationship building–-so start building.

Ask yourself, “If the unexpected happens, do I really want to look like a deer caught in the headlights?”

So—Prepare for change. Stay connected. And be reciprocal. Networking is always a 2-way street.

How do you handle change? How do you stay connected?

For over 25 years, Michelle Kerrigan has been helping businesses and private clients achieve workplace success by developing the practical skills they need to improve their confidence. Based on her own leadership experiences, Michelle provides an invaluable road map for conquering fear and doubt, navigating change, and solving day-to-day challenges, resulting in significantly improved performance and productivity. Michelle is also currently working on a series for public TV about workplace confidence. More at www.workplaceconfidence.com and www.michellekerriganinc.com.