Ok, so, I am driving down the road to bring my daughter to dinner for her birthday and see this billboard sign and it catches my attention. Understand that most signs don’t because they are terrible, but this one is a white sign and on one side says LUST and the other side says LOVE in red letters with the words “I am second” in white on a black patch in the center with the website www.iamsecond.com in the corner. I struck me because I really didn’t know what it was about and yet it was drawing me. I did not know then, but I know now that it was my spirit was that was drawing me to this sign.

It is a day later and I am at my computer and I remember this sign and go to the website. It is also plain, but it has a person on the right and a statement “I am second,” that you can click which takes you to a video of them speaking. Well, I was not prepared to hear the amazing testimonies of how God has changed these peoples lives and then to have them declare that they are second or say at the end “I am second” to God. I sat there and listened to several of them. The one I liked the most is the one from Stephen Baldwin where his cleaning lady told his wife she was not there to just clean the house but because they would become Christians and have a ministry. This is an amazing website. You have to check it out.

And it got me to thinking about how I am second. God is in control of my life and Jesus is Lord of my life and I am happily second to them. I can remember a time before them when I was living for me and how lust and pornography got me into trouble with the law on multiple occasions and was leading me down a very bad path. But God got a hold of me and shook me up because he has a plan and a ministry for me down the road. He has had many people like that maid tell me that God has things in store and for a while like Stephen I ran. But I am not running away from God anymore. On July 12, 1992, in a little church in upstate New York I made Jesus lord of my life. And then several years later, while having Jesus as lord, but still trying to be the one in control, I gave everything over to him and told him that I made a mess of things and that if he could do anything with this life it was his. Since then, he has moved me to Texas and given me a great job. He continues to inspire me in writing and also is developing some interesting contacts. I know that God has great things in store and I am excited. But the coolest thing is that I don’t have to worry about one thing. I just get to enjoy the ride because God is in control and “I am second.”

The enemy formed another weapons against us and tried to come between my brother and me, but God is good and amazing and awesome and caused this weapon not to prosper as he promised he would. You can read all about it on the Daniel Fast Blog site called “A Call To Fast” where I posted the Testimony by clicking here. Our God truly is an awesome God!!

On Monday December 8th, my wife was waiting in the parking lot outside my office when she noticed that the temperature gauge for the engine was almost in the red zone. This was not good so she immediately turned the car off while she waited for me. When I got in the car, she told me what happened. As I started the car, the temperature shot up to well over half. Since we were at my work and had to get home and I have had a thermostat go in a car before, I decided to drive the car home and watch the engine temperature. By the grace of God, we arrived home without issue.

The next morning, we arranged with my brother to have my sister-in-law bring me to work after she got off from working overnight. On the other hand, my wife proceeded to take our car to a mechanic who checked the car out. We had prayed and hoped that the car would cost us somewhere in the neighborhood of about a hundred dollars as we had just put two hundred dollars in the car to get it to pass inspection. We would later discover that the estimate was about $1,300, which was well above the amount of money that we had available to us.

I was at work when Vicky called me with the news. She was in tears and to be honest I was at a loss for words coupled with the fact that I was in the middle of my office and unable to console her anyway. For a moment in time, I was having d?j? vu and I didn’t know what to do.

Allow me to explain. Almost exactly a year ago to the day, we had a Kia Optima that died in the middle of the road when my wife was returning home. She had James in the car when it died. She called me at work, but as it would happen at that moment in time there was no one would around who could bring me to her. She then called the church we were attending at the time and their basic attitude was good luck with that which was not helping our situation or the fact that Vicky was stranded in the middle of the road with a just about to turn five year old who did not understand why he had to stay in the car. Eventually a police office came by and helped to push the car off the road to a side street and then a tow truck came and towed the car to a dealer to get it looked at. Vicky was stuck having to walk home on a major road with James and lugging the car seat.

The car dealer discovered that the timing belt had snapped and took out a good portion of the engine with it and the repairs came to $3,000. Given what happened with the church and everything else, I honestly didn’t have the faith to turn to God for the answers. I didn’t rely on him or wait on him for what I was supposed to do and made a very bad decision on how to pay for the car. A decision that still haunts me today.

We received the car back and less than a month later; it was totaled in a car accident as my wife was driving home from picking up Katie, my oldest daughter. You could literally see the hands of God wrapped around the drivers and passengers seat as the car that hit them hit the front and destroyed the engine and then spun around and hit the rear section totally missing where they were sitting. The down side was that the man did not have insurance and when we went to file the claim, we discovered that we missed with all my medical issues that our insurance had been canceled.

God provided us a vehicle, the one that was now in the shop and estimated to be $1,300 in repairs and my mind was racing back to last year and what to do. I was saying a silent prayer to God that I couldn’t go back to that because I knew that was wrong, but that he HAD to come through somehow and some way.

Vicky called the church and Gayle, our wonderful church secretary, sent out and email for people to pray at the same time I was sending out an email to everyone I had emails for calling on them to pray for our needs. Gayle prayed with Vicky and helped to encourage her that God would come through somehow.

Mark and Dina are friends of ours from church whom God has begun to knit together. Last Saturday night, we had the opportunity to get to know them when we were invited to their Christmas party at which we had a great time. Dina replied to my email within fifteen minutes with the simple message to have Vicky call. The reason she wanted us to call was because they had a mechanic that they knew and trusted. The long story short is that we transferred the car from the one mechanic to the mechanic that they knew. He gave us a new quote. This quote was about $25 less, but included a bunch more work that needed to be done. This was both great and depressing news at the same time.

Maria and Mario are friends of ours from church who we have knit together with because we share many of the same difficulties as well as both of us having been selected by the Pastor to be Connection Group leaders. About thirty minutes after I sent out the email, I received an email from Maria for our phone number so that she could call and pray with Vicky. However, I was in a meeting and not able to get back to her right away. Since I was taking too long, she called the church and got our number and contacted Vicky and stood with her in prayer as well as encouraged her.

To add to this, a member from our church contacted us and told us that they could help us with the bill by loaning us $600 to be paid back as we were able. This was a tremendous blessing because it immediately showed me that God was moving and that God was taking care of this whole thing, which I should have known from the beginning because that is the kind of God he is and always has been. But you know, sometimes when you fall off of a horse, it is hard to get back on no matter how good the horse is. I just thank God that he is patient with us.

This is where God really gets awesome. I was at my desk at work rubbing my head because my blood pressure was up and my head was hurting and a man comes up to me that I have been working with for the last almost five years and asks how am I doing. I told him that I was not so good. He asked what was up. I told him that the car was busted and that I had hoped that it was be inexpensive, but that it was going to be a lot of money and then he did the most unexpected thing. He moved in real close and said, “Do you need some money?” I was shocked and was not sure what to say other then I didn’t know when I could pay him back and he told me not to worry about that. Now, this happened less than an hour after finding out that the estimate of the car was going to cost as much as it did. In the end, when I found out the actual price of the car the next day, I needed to borrow $600, and I went and asked for the money. This man, who is a sweet and wonderful man asked if that would be enough and then offered me a $1,000 to make sure that I had enough to get by to be paid back when I can.

So, let me break down what God did for us. I found out that the car was going to cost well more then I had and could even think about coming up with. My best hope was my next paycheck, which was ten days away and spoken for to pay rent and Christmas. When I found this out, I prayed and God did the following IN LESS THAN AN HOUR. Gayle encouraged my wife and sent an email having the church pray for our needs. Mark and Dina called with a much better mechanic that did much more that was needed for a total of $1,189. Maria called Vicky, my wife, and encouraged and prayed for her. A member of my church called and loaned us $600 towards the repairs. A man from my offered to loan me money towards the repairs. He turned out loaning us a $1,000. All of this because I trusted in God to supply my needs and He showed up through these people. I don’t know what your need is right now, but I can tell you without a doubt that if you put it in God’s hands, he will take care of it for you just like he did for me and continues to do for me.

WOW! This story is amazing.

Our Hero is Coming Home

After nearly 14 years of equine rescue, I thought that I had seen it all, sadly . . .

I WAS WRONG.

After nearly 14 years of equine rescue, I thought that I had seen it all, sadly . . . I WAS WRONG.

On October 18th, Troy and I were contacted by those in charge of recovering a small horse that was found by hunters wandering in the high wilderness of the Cascade Mountain range. Evident by his halter and dragging lead rope, the bay Arab gelding was clearly not wild. Instead, while he was being transported to Bend Equine Medical Center for emergency treatment, he was kind and gentle, quietly submitting to those who were trying to care for him. Based on what little information that could be gathered, it was estimated that he had been wandering for several weeks. Even for a small horse, he looked to be about 200 lbs. underweight and was INCREDIBLY dehydrated. Once at the hospital, it was confirmed . . . his wounds were severe.

A leg wound on the back of his left front cannon was so festered with rampant infection that its rotten stench filled the room. A ‘makeshift’ bandage of green vet wrap had grown into the leg and effectively become a tourniquet, further adding to the suffering of this abandoned horse. Once the layers of caked blood, puss and bio-matter were removed, the tendons of his leg were clearly visible.

Even more troubling was the fact that his left eye was completely destroyed and hanging out of its socket. There was also a very suspicious looking depressed wound near his left eye. His head, neck, shoulder and front leg gave further evidence of the severity of his injuries, as they were heavily crusted with his own blood. As bad as his eye injury was, his head injury was much worse.

X-rays revealed the UNTHINKABLE. This gentle, little horse with the kind spirit . . . had been shot in the head. His x-rays clearly showed where someone had shot him three inches behind his left eye. The trajectory of the bullet traveled through the top of his lower jaw, shattering it, and continued to penetrate his skull as it exploded into nearly three dozen-inoperable-fragments of jagged shrapnel. Compounding his plight even further, his blood tests showed that he had lost fully HALF of his blood volume.

It was hard to believe, looking at him for the first time, that he had survived for an undetermined amount of time with a horrifically infected leg wound, a broken jaw, a destroyed eye and lethal blood loss, all with an exploded bullet scattered throughout his head. If this weren’t bad enough, he was also left to wander in a high altitude forest while dragging a lead rope. Any one of these things should have destroyed him. Yet, here he was, standing before me, blinking inquisitively at my presence with his one remaining eye. I was overcome with the thought that . . . it was a complete miracle he was standing at all!

It appeared that someone felt his leg wound was just too much for them to deal with; or perhaps they believed that it was a fatal wound. Somehow, they felt that loading up their friend and driving him to a remote location to be destroyed . . . was their best option. A ‘best guess’ is that they shot him in the head and fell unconscious from the impact. Bleeding profusely from his wound, it was believed that during this time, he bled out half of his blood volume. Thinking he was dead, the perpetrators left the scene. Miraculously, he woke up. Somehow summoning the strength to stand, he lurched to his feet and staggered away.

Even though his wounds are grave, he is not. He is continuing to make meaningful progress in his efforts to heal. And in less than one week, this amazing horse will be coming to Crystal Peaks! Because of the severity of his injuries, his recovery will be long and intensive. But the staff, volunteers and kids who come to the ranch are not only up for the challenge of caring for a critically ill horse . . . they can’t wait until he comes home. Instead of ‘waiting’, they are going to him! Since the moment it was determined that this special horse was going to become a part of our family, more days than not, I have driven my truck to the equine hospital filled with young ‘well wishers’ who are determined to help this wounded soul KNOW that he is greatly loved.

In these past days of spending time with our new boy, I have become very aware of something remarkable about him. He is courageous, he is a survivor, he has fought HARD to live, to keep going. Most horses would have perished when faced with just one of his symptoms. Yet, he survived what many would believe to be unthinkable odds. The more I ponder our gelding, the more I realize just how symbolic he is of a vast majority of people.

At some point in nearly each of our lives, we go through “horrible, unthinkable” times. We feel as if we have been lead out into the wilderness, perhaps by those we loved and trusted, badly beaten and left for dead. We stumble away, wandering within the desolation of loneliness, unable to help ourselves, unable to stop the ‘hemorrhaging’, unable to find our way home. The horizon begins to fade into gray. Death looms.

It is then, within our darkest night, our deepest wilderness, our greatest despair, when our hope is bleeding out . . . if we call on His name . . . He comes. Jesus comes into the wreckage of our heart, our blackest place, our wasteland of hopelessness . . . and He leads us home.

Like a soldier returning from battle, or a little horse from the wilderness, we too can fall into the welcome arms of the One who loves us. We, like the soldier or horse, might not look the same on the outside. When we come home from our ‘battle in the wilderness’, we might be scarred or disfigured, we might carry the marks of our wounding. Yet, as one of the little ones here at the ranch has so honestly and eloquently stated about his wounded four legged friend, “It’s not the outside (of a horse) that makes him lovable . . . it’s the inside that I love. It’s not what the outside looks like that makes him a ‘hero’, it’s the inside, it’s the heart . . . that’s what makes a REAL hero.”

Learning from my own experiences, I now know that it’s true, we can never be too wounded for the Lord to heal. We can never be too lost for Him to find. We can never be too broken for Him to love back to life. We can never fall so deep into despair, that His immeasurable love for us-each of us-is not deeper still. There is no such place of sorrow, no such wilderness of pain . . . that He cannot find us, help us stand up and lead us home. Because this little horse is so symbolic of this beautiful truth, we hope that you will be please to know that we have decided to name him in honor of those who have chosen to reach for the hand of the Lord and walk through their wilderness. His new name shall be . . . ‘Hero.’

Written by Kim Meeder

Abortion is a hot topic and there are many people with many esoteric reasons to support their opinion. However, none of them hold a candle to the story of T. Suzanne Eller. Below is her story from her website that you can see by following this link.

Dear friend. . .

Posted October 27, 2008

You ask me why I dare touch such a hot topic in today?s political scene. After all, it?s a women?s right to choose. It?s private. It?s not right to push your opinions on others, you say. Thank you for your questions, for allowing me to be the one to listen.

I don?t often talk about abortion, but friend you asked the question so is it okay that I share my story?

My mom was 15 when she found out she was pregnant with her first. A young naval guy on her base told her he loved her. She believed him. Nine months later she gave birth to a sick child. Cystic fibrosis. She was far from home now. ?You made your own bed; lie in it,? her mother said.

Her husband wasn?t faithful. He was abusive. She was fragile. She got pregnant again, giving birth to another little girl just in time to say goodbye to her first. When her little one died, her husband beat her, accusing her of not taking care of Pamela. What he didn?t understand is that at time they didn?t have the medical knowledge to extend the life of a CF baby.

He was gone for longer periods of time, some times months due to service. Other times, days, due to other women. She was not quite 20 years old, a mother twice over, without money, a phone, and at the mercy of an angry young man.

She fled one day, finding a place with a girlfriend, taking in jobs cleaning homes. She was as poor as ever, but safe and rebuilding her life.

He found her. He wanted to make their marriage work. He wanted her to come home. He wanted sex.

She said no to all of those. He made her give him at least one of them. It was violent. He left, this time for forever.

She found out she was pregnant. It was the worst of times; it was the worst of times. There was not ?best? in this situation. Her remaining daughter was 3. She was 20. At nine months pregnant she walked out of the house, her water broken, a dime clutched in her hand as she looked for a pay phone to call for help.

She gave birth alone later that night in the hallway of a naval hospital. No pink balloons. No birth announcements. No loving family surrounding her. It was a difficult birth: a 9 lb. 13 oz. baby girl. Daughter #3 arrived.

I was that baby.

When I look at her circumstances she had every reason to terminate the pregnancy. But if she had ended that pregnancy, she would have ended me. And generations after me: Leslie, Ryan, Melissa.

That?s why I quietly oppose abortion. It?s why I am grateful that my mother allowed me to choose whether my life was of value, instead of her circumstances or my conception or the hard life we had after that.

Because I love life. I love being Suzie. I love being a mom. I love traveling around the world to share my faith. I love hiking. I love being in the arms of Richard. I love everything that life brings, even if that meant that I had to go through the hard parts growing up, and there were many, to be here today.

Maybe you disagree and I hear you, but this is my story and I can?t change the facts to embrace the issue.

Thanks for asking the question. I love having this conversation w/you.