tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51629162024-02-28T03:34:43.328-08:00Aphorism and EgoismHappiness, Optimism, Mindfulness, and Authentic LivingEd Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-92112729264418738492012-11-01T16:59:00.000-07:002012-11-01T17:03:40.144-07:00Expertise Trajectory Matters<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; margin: 0in;">
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In the blog on Creating Passionate Users, I found a great article entitled <a href="http://headrush.typepad.com/creating_passionate_users/2006/03/how_to_be_an_ex.html">How to be an expert</a>, that introduced this graphic:</div>
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This graphic really says a lot about the nature of expertise and the type of dedication and pushing needed to get through the continual hurdles that come up while trying to improve.</div>
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In my personal life, I have a lot of hobbies, and I can understand what it's like to get to the amateur level and then move on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of my biggest hobbies is around dancing, particularly related to salsa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like in any hobby that people have invested a lot, there's a a desire to discuss it all the time, and an opportunity to really learn about what makes us as human beings tick.</div>
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Seeing this image helped me break-through an aspect of dance that has long been confusing to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I'm not an expert at dance myself, I still consider myself on an upward trajectory, always pushing myself to improve and grow in at least some aspect of being a dancer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And part of it is to always push myself in different ways that I have pushed myself before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For instance, as I push myself a lot harder to understand the music, I encounter very frustrating gaps in my knowledge, and at this time, I'm training my ear for pitch detection so that I'm better able to understand the harmonies of the music.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's something that is extremely challenging for me and extremely slow going. But, I digress…</div>
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Here's the bit that I've always found confusing in myself:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I often prefer to dance with enthusiastic beginners over plateaued amateurs. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the graph below the red (1) marks the enthusiastic beginners, and the blue (2) marks the plateaued amateurs.</div>
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Even though the beginners are much less experienced and skillful dancers than the plateaued amateurs, meaning that I cannot do as fancy stuff with them, I'm more inspired to dance with them than I am to dance with people above the suck threshold who are not focused on improvement. Looking at this graph, I think that I simply prefer to dance with people who are trending upwards, no matter what level they're at. It's the slope of their ability over time that I appreciate more than the current level of their ability.</div>
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Here's the things that make a dance fun for me:</div>
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<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; vertical-align: middle;" value="1"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: bold;">FRESHNESS</span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"> - The dance is new and fresh and exhilarating in some way.</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: bold;">FUN FACTOR</span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"> - My partner is smiling, playful, and having a good time.</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: bold;">GROWTH</span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"> - I'm able to grow in an area where I'm currently trying to grow, without me feeling too judged or incompetent.</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; vertical-align: middle;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: bold;">CONNECTION</span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"> - My partner and I are able to connect to each other and the music.</span></li>
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I think that the upward trajectory of my partner helps keep the dance fresh, makes them more likely to have fun, helps me grow over time along with the same dancer… or inspires me in new ways that I can grow, and likely to increase the connection over time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's a deep truth to humanity that we're more attuned to relative changes than absolute values, and this is another example of that idea.</div>
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Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-83451652853331867652011-01-17T17:08:00.001-08:002012-12-02T23:15:05.024-08:00Practicing Self Approval<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-style: italic;">"Wanting approval is the biggest check you will ever write." - Lawrence Crane </span></div>
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As a child, my father once told me to stop caring what other people think of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He told me that as I grow up, and become more confident in myself, I won't care how others feel about me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The message is that if I don't care what others think of me, they'll stop judging me and have less control over my feelings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I let other kids' teasing hurt me, then they can hurt me, and kids who needed to feel that kind of power through psychological bullying would see that it works and use it to increase their own sense of self worth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though, if I had confidence in my own decisions and choices, and could realize that a lot of the judgments from others is just that, a play for power, a way to get control, likely due to lower self esteem in the others.</div>
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Truly confident people don't need to judge or bully others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When they fully accept themselves, they neither need to grant or deny approval, nor do they seek it in others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the <a href="http://essey.blogspot.com/2009/03/four-agreements-of-don-miguel-ruiz.html">Four Agreements</a> by Don Miguel Ruiz is to not take anything personally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything that someone likes or dislikes, approves or rejects, is a reflection of the values and emotions of that person, and that person alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has nothing to do with the specific value or quality of that which is being judged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not taking anything personally, is trusting in yourself through judgment, and neither being proud of compliments, nor ashamed of insults.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any statements or actions of others is just more information about the other person and nothing about the subject that they're judging.</div>
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It's hard, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's a drive in many of us to want to be liked, and often to want to be liked and approved of by a specific person, specific people, or society in general.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And some people have been either formally or informally annointed as discerning critics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some people are great at being judges that others take seriously, their word becoming the basis for group opinion or group judgment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To some extent, this is valuable to many as helping to determine fitness and what others will like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, in arts it often leads to the creation of diluted "mainstream" or "derivative" artifacts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In people, it leads people into feeling low self esteem, "selling out", or lording their opinions over others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of these comments illuminate a lesson: what we often find most appealing are the things that are most internally honest. </div>
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The great irony is, the more that people pander to be liked by others, the less authentic they become, and inevitably the less liked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Seeking approval from others is really unattractive to the people giving the approval.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It creates a relationship of power.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People admire great personal integrity in others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having integrity means that one's beliefs and behaviors integrate thoroughly. <a href="http://essey.blogspot.com/2009/03/start-whole.html">Start Whole</a>.</div>
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Lawrence Crane delivered an important message in a little book, that I find can be summarized in it's title <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Love Yourself and Let the Other Person Have It Your Way</span>, and a key line<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"Wanting approval is the biggest check you will ever write."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Giving others the power to approve or reject who you are is giving up your ability to make your own decisions, think your own thoughts, and feel your own feelings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's completely surrendering your personal freedom at the most fundamental levels.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To give myself approval, I constantly need to seek if there's anything in myself that I disapprove of, and accept it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over and over, I seek to accept every last bit of who I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Personal acceptance is an important part of my path to integrity, compassion, and happiness.</div>
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<span style="font-style: italic;">Since awareness leads to growth, I<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>track two related points daily on my </span><a href="http://daytender.com/"><span style="font-style: italic;">daytender</span></a><span style="font-style: italic;"> account:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Took nothing personally and Loved me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I give myself a 1-10 rating on both of these.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Reflecting on these values is what helps, and the rating is interesting to watch over time, and in coordination with other counters and events of my life.</span></div>
Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-12529309010007306712011-01-14T12:44:00.001-08:002011-01-14T12:44:35.154-08:00Right Effort That's Right for Me<div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">Lately, I've been taking the time to appreciate what I have and wher e I am in life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've certainly had a charmed life, being born to two wonderful, loving, and stable parents who raised me morally and with a great education.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never wanted for anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm certainly in the very top percentile in terms of starting out with opportunity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The question to keep posing to myself is if I'm making the "right" use of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The challenge comes in definitely what "right" is for me and then acting on it.</div><div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">Much of finding this definition of "right" and the opportunity to act on it passes passively, meaning that we did not explicitly decide to eliminate certain options, they were eliminated due to our own inaction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember the first time realizing that a door was closed to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sitting in a high school art class, watching the Winter Olympics, it occurred to me that several of the medalists were younger than I was, and had started as children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, it never occurred to me until that moment that winning all sports in the Olympics wasn't an option to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still figured that I could do anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though now, my body already had ruts and I had already missed out on years of important training needed to prepare me for such high level success.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's when Virgil's idea "Optima dies, prima fugit." (the best days are the first to flee) occurred to me long before I knew the words.</div><div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">Over the years, many other opportunities passively passed me by, and that's ok as I've learned to let go of <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ambition">ambition</a> and see more to be "of use".<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Buddha Is As Buddha Does</span> by the Lama Surya Das, he relates a quote by a forest monk from Thailand, "In Asia, the class sequence of the teachings and practice is first generosity, then morality, and then meditation…. But here in the United States, the sequence seems to be meditation first, then morality, and after some time, as a kind of appendix, there is some teaching about generosity."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This strikes me as huge, since I spend more time focusing on meditation and mindfulness, than on anything else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In some ways, this is highly self-serving, though I always convince myself that I need to bring my best self to any situation, and that I have a long way to go in the realm of mindfulness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This year, I aim intentionally to change my focus from self-service to world service.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">Though given all of the ways of possibly serving, I need to discover the right way to do that for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are more charities in the world than I have pennies to my name, and trying to spread the pennies evenly wouldn't do any good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Value comes when I can focus my resources--time, money, energy--into the things that really matter to me, while striving to ensure that all of my acts are wholesome.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">Somewhere in my life I heard or read the concept that men are typically generous toward loved ones, family, friends, and people that they know, while women tend to be more generous to the world at large.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I cannot recall the source of this, nor do I have evidence to back it up, though I feel that for me, it is certainly easier for me to be generous with those whom I know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps that it is focus that I've passively "chosen".<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More now, I aim to spread my attention outward.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; margin: 0in;">Nearly 2 years ago, I focused on <a href="http://essey.blogspot.com/2009/02/why-i-blog.html">Why I Blog</a> and identified goals of sharing, a primary one being not resting until others are free of suffering, as in the Bodhisattva vow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My way is in helping others be more mindful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Recently, I've teamed up with others who share this goal, we call ourselves <a href="http://starkravingbits.com/">Stark Raving Bits</a>, to create <a href="http://daytender.com/">daytender</a>, a web site for helping to cultivate mindfulness in others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-85291483574554004722010-06-04T15:32:00.000-07:002010-06-04T15:32:32.379-07:00Appreciating SadnessIn The Mastery of Love don Miguel Ruiz writes "Everything is made by Love, by Life. Even fear is a reflection of love...." This gave me pause while feeling true. I put the book down to happily reflect on this novel piece of wisdom. I'm so used to seeing fear as the enemy of a loving relationship, an enemy of loving myself. But, it's true. It's originally the body's mechanism for protecting the organism from danger. It fuels the flight response. It is just that the human mind tends to accrus a lot of baggage and react with fear unnecessarily. The same holds for anger, it is also an expression of love, a protective response. <br />
What about sadness? What is the biological advantage of sadness? As honed as our bodies are, sadness evolved for a reason, and in a search for the answer, a few different ideas came up. <br />
Sadness/depression lead to great art. Joni Mitchell calls sadness "the sand that makes the pearl." Psychologist James Hillman observes: "Depression opens the door to beauty of some kind." Over recorded history, many of the commonly considered greatest artists were quite depressed, many attempted or committed suicide. One theory is that sadness is the inspiration for art. I've personally found that if I'm a little down, I can turn to creating art as a pick-me-up. The act of making art puts me in a state of flow (a la Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi) or helps me be in the present moment, the now. Many folks in happiness theory talk about how being in the now is the truest way to find happiness, so perhaps sadness encourages people to seek out flow activities.<br />
Melancholia is part of the whole mental health picture. Some experts, including Jung, concluded that melancholia is essential to mental health. More on this topic can be found in Eric G. Wilson's book Against Happiness: In Praise of Melancholy. The theory here is that the psyche needs a full complement of emotions in order to be complete. To me this feels a bit taoist, recalling to mind Lao-Tzu's line from the Tao Te Ching that I've seen translated as: "Misery is but the shadow of happiness / Happiness is but the cloak of misery." The two are needfully balanced sides of the same coin. It also points to the idea that happiness may be relative and the full cycle, including sadness is also needed.<br />
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Sadness is a focusing tool. This is the most convincing argument that I've seen. "... depression is nature’s way of telling you that you’ve got complex social problems that the mind is intent on solving." From Scientific American's "Depression's Evolutionary Roots". This theory essentially sets up this chain: Sadness results from social problems. Social problems are dangerous to primates and village societies, our evolutionary roots, because if you don't fit into the group, you don't get protection, food, shelter, status, and reproductive power within your society. Essentially, you don't survive in harsh conditions. Sadness, in turn, releases a chemical in the brain that blocks the 5HT1A receptor which binds to seratonin. A few other effects concur with this, including tendency for creative rumination, increased ability to focus, decreases in sex drive, thirst, hunger, and pain-sensitivity. So, essentially, it provides the brain with creativity and focus that it needs for problem solving while reducing the drives for distractions, allowing the brain to figure it's way out of the social mess as fast as possible.<br />
For the past several months, I've kept this in mind and have been able to appreciate all of my emotions a bit more, seeing them for the beneficial sides that they have. When I find myself a little sadness, I can treat this as a cue to examine my state, determine the cause of my sadness at a social level, and see if I can harness my increased focus and creativity to do my best and most creative work and to solve the problem that I am facing.Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-39480657029771242352010-03-31T10:22:00.001-07:002010-03-31T10:22:24.125-07:00Haiku #12 - Sakura's LamentGlory to cherries!<br />
Their beauty heralds Spring time.<br />
Then, obscurity.Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-5792081068927922732010-01-26T21:03:00.000-08:002010-04-01T11:12:55.983-07:00Haiku #11 - In Lieu of CryingThanks to the mother<br />
Of the farmer of the cow<br />
Whose milk I just spilled.Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-43451497197062295742010-01-19T09:38:00.000-08:002010-04-01T11:13:30.215-07:00Haiku #10 - High-Hanging FruitMany beasts compete,<br />
Snatching at low-hanging fruit.<br />
Others learn to fly.Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-50334329534306580572010-01-12T01:34:00.000-08:002010-04-01T11:13:12.867-07:00Haiku #9 - Hara Hachi BuGreedy serpent gags<br />
Gorging enormous carcass.<br />
Merry Christmas!<br />
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-- Yes, I broke the 5 syllable rule in the last line, but it adds such a punch, doesn't it? <span style="font-style: italic;">;)<br />
<br />
--Hara hachi bu</span> is the Okinawan dietary principle of only eating until the stomach is 80% full. I have found a lot of benefit in using this principle to moderate a lot of the pleasures in my life.Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-56240819256280884502010-01-04T11:20:00.000-08:002010-01-04T11:22:09.012-08:00Haiku #8 - Just Write!Letter from a friend<br />Want to reply just right. Wait...<br />Too precious! Just write!<br /><br />--This haiku was inspired while playing email catch-up during the holiday lull. Sometimes I take the longest to reply to the mails that I'm most excited about.Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-10608506551522502452009-08-14T17:28:00.000-07:002009-08-14T17:29:51.380-07:00Haiku #7 - Waving Her Red FlagsWaving her red flags<br />Arousing an adventure<br />Gripping life tightly.Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-21755840575246722402009-08-13T09:34:00.001-07:002009-08-13T09:34:45.136-07:00MPOW #27 - Hero"The hero is one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by." - Felix Adler<br /><br />"True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost."<br />- Arthur Ashe<br /><br />Lately I have been inspired by many and have been thinking a lot about the people who inspire me. In schools and camps, people often ask children to talk about their heroes. Sometimes, out of whimsy, I love to pull out such childhood questions and see what the answers are. For this mindfulness practice of the week (MPOW), start by asking yourself:<b> Who is your hero?</b> or <b>Who are your heroes?</b><br /><br />This is the first step. The idea is not to choose an idol, but an inspiration. Telling the difference between idolatry and admiration is a second part of the mindfulness practice. What about that person do you find virtuous? What trait impresses you? Once you pinpoint this trait or traits, see what it would take to bring that trait into your life. My heroes are people who behave in ways that I admire but have not yet found the strength to emulate myself. Grove Alexander's quotation parallels the Buddhist notion that environment is just a blink away: "Less than a foot made the difference between a hero and a bum." <br /><br />After choosing your hero, this is a great opportunity to find that same behavior and virtue within yourself. It is there. You don't need to change yourself or become a better person in any way. Instead you can reveal this for yourself in the same way that a master sculptor reveals the statue in the marble. It is not necessary to accomplish the same feats as your hero, that may actually be counterproductive to your goals. Forcing yourself to do something that doesn't align with who you are is not a change, it is a form of self-hostility. Instead, focusing on the virtue and behavior. Do this gently; you are already perfect and whole. <br /><br />if you want some more inspiration about heroes, see Paula Grant-LeClaire's <a title="Hero Quotations" href="http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art31788.asp" id="krf4">Hero Quotations</a> at Bella Online.<br /><br />“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” - Christopher Reeve<br /><br />“A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.” -Bob Dylan<br /><br /><i>This post is dedicated to my heroes, especially the people who have patiently taught me the things that I have been impatient in learning. </i>Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-27129249369693072162009-08-10T14:47:00.000-07:002009-08-10T14:50:11.262-07:00Response to Fatburger BannerFatburger banner in restaurant: "Do you really think man clawed his way to the top of the food chain to eat soy?" Today <a href="http://www.keithferrazzi.com/WGYB/">Keith Ferrazzi</a> <a href="http://twitter.com/keithferrazzi/status/3220523906">tweeted that</a>. No offense, Keith, you’re awesome, but I’m drawn to rebuttal on this banner quote.<br /><br /><em>Full disclosure: I'm on a mostly vegetarian diet (see</em> <a href="http://essey.blogspot.com/2008/07/from-carnivorous-to-carnivicarious-why.html">Why</a><em>), so perhaps you will find me unduly biased. However, it is a diet that I chose after lots of soul searching and meditation. This diet is my choice and not one that I force on anyone else. I'm not saying that eating meat is wrong. In fact, strict vegetarianism is not for me, and I'm even reevaluating my current stance. So, though I offer the disclaimer, vegetarianism is not something that I follow blindly and with zealotry. Aside - Even when I ate and loved meat, I found Fatburger disgusting. My one and only burger there nauseated me. I preferred In 'N Out… though I haven’t had a beef burger in probably a year and a half. Well, enough about me…</em><br /><br />Really, Fatburger? Really? (nod to SNL) That seems both factually incorrect and a blatant attempt to exploit a desire for dominance in order to fill Fatburger’s coffers.<br /><br />Humans didn't really claw their way to the top of the food chain. If you ascribe to evolution (as I do), our species evolved at this point. If you follow creationism, we were created by God exactly at the top. If you believe something else, well, maybe my argument falls apart, but I leave it to you to decide.<br /><br />The human benefit is that we have a highly developed neo-cortex in our pre-frontal lobe that allows us to make our own decisions. These decisions let us work with the mammalian and reptilian centers below, but applying more logic and reasoning. We have decision-making abilities. With these decision making abilities comes moral responsibility. Given this potent brain, we don't need to be driven solely by the impulse to consume meat.<br /><br />Fine, so it’s meant to be a clever advertisement, not necessarily factually correct. But we can still look at it for what it does do. It’s similar to a quote that I see at my local market: “Vegetarian is a Native American world for bad hunter.”<br /><br />I’ve noticed that some meat-eaters are bothered by vegetarians, because they feel judged by someone else's choices, or they feel a little guilty on their own. Clearly, Fatburger stands to gain by exploiting this, by exploiting a primal hunger for meat, by exploiting this primal desire for dominance. They want you to buy more burgers and will manipulate your desire to feel more powerful, even if it is by being at the top of the food chain.<br /><br />Perhaps, though, the true power comes from the will power to see this for the commercial manipulation that it is. It comes from the ability to choose, and to see meat consumption as a choice, and perhaps not the best choice for a human-sustainable ecology. Perhaps real power comes from being able to think beyond yourself, beyond your appetite, beyond your own need for power, and to adhere to decisions that support the rest of the world.<br /><br />I am not for vegetarianism as tree-huggerism, frou-frouism, or a source of identity. I am for conscious decisions that promote a better, more sustainable world. I suspect that less dining at Fatburger would go some way in that direction.Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-5786884315821404722009-08-03T17:43:00.000-07:002009-08-03T17:49:31.940-07:00MPOW #26 - Nadi Sodhana - Alternating Nostril Breathing<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;">"Breathe. Breathe in the air.</span><br /> <span style="font-family: Verdana;">Don't be afraid to care." -Pink Floyd</span><br /> <br /> <span style="font-family: Verdana;">If I only have a few moments alone to find calm and center myself, I often turn to </span><i style="font-family: Verdana;">nadi sodhana</i><span style="font-family: Verdana;">, or alternating nostril breathing. "</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana;font-family:trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica;font-size:85%;" >Yogis believe that this exercise will clean and rejuvenate your vital channels of energy, thus the name nadi sodhana (purification of nadis or channels)." From the <a title="Yoga Infocenter" href="http://www.holisticonline.com/Yoga/hol_yoga_breathing-ex-nadisodh.htm" id="viir">Yoga Infocenter</a>. For this mindfulness practice of the week, try out this millenia-old breathing technique.<br /><br />Along with being calming and centering, this technique is often revitalizing. It is balancing. I love to use it on a bus or plane ride, first thing in the morning, or before drifting off to sleep. I also used it between interviews while I was interviewing for my current job. And while out salsa or tango dancing, I will center myself with it during breaks.<br /><b><br />The Practice</b><br />I describe this technique from the perspective of a right hand, but it is possible to use either the left hand, or anything else that can block your nostrils if the right hand will not work for you.<br /><br />1. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana;font-family:trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica;font-size:85%;" >Find a comfortable position with spine erect.<br />2. Hold your right hand in front of your face, palm facing you.<br />3. Put your middle and index fingers together, touching them lightly in the center of your forehead. Your thumb and ring fingers should rest on your right and left nostrils, respectively.<br /><br />4. Use your ring finger to close your left nostril, then inhale slowly and steadily through your right nostril.<br />5. At the end of your inhalation, release your left nostril while using your thumb to close your right nostril, then exhale slowy and steadily through your left nostril.<br />6. Inhale slowly and steadily through your left nostril, keeping your right nostril closed.<br />7. Switch nostrils, and exhale through your right nostril.<br /><br />Each inhalation starts on one side, and the exhalation completes on the other side. Keep alternating bath and forth. Keeping track of the same breathing count on each side is an excellent technique to keep yourself patient and maintain steady breathing.<br /><b><br />Fun Diversion</b><br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">As you practice this, you will likely notice that one nostril is more open than the other. Yogic traditions have found that the open nostril switched roughly every 108 minutes throughout the day. It will be easier to breath on the right side for 108 minutes, then at the transition equally easy to breath on both sides, then switches over to the left for 108 minutes, going back and forth. It is said that when the left side is freer, this is a more outwardly energetic and excited time, the yang side. When the right side breathed easily, this is a calmer side of your day, the yin side. </span><br /> <br /> <span style="font-family: Verdana;">This breathing pattern brings the two sides into equilibrium. Laying on your right side encouraging your right nostril to open more, and laying on your left side encourages your left nostril to open more. You can use this information to assist you in going to sleep or awakening.</span><br /> <br /> <span style="font-family: Verdana;">You might want to play with this yourself to see what you can learn from it.</span><br /> </span>Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-83014143728580373612009-07-15T23:42:00.000-07:002009-07-15T23:43:26.159-07:00MPOW #25 - Pain"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." - Marcus Aurelius Antoninus <div> </div> <div>As I sank deeply into a long held pose in yoga, I felt an intensity in my hips that pointed to muscle blockage, often a flag of an emotional blockage or unresolved pain. Through this, it is so obvious to know the relationship of who we are. It's beautiful that rather than a body with a mind, or a mind with a body, or a spirit with both, we are more complete than that. Several aspects compose into the whole that is us, though none of it is "us" in itself, and anything can change and still be us. I witness four aspects: the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Developing these aspects together is vital for an existence of <a id="proe" title="Balance and Moderation" href="http://essey.blogspot.com/2008/06/balance-and-moderation.html">Balance and Moderation</a>. </div> <div> </div> <div>Often we have a difficult time balancing these, and instead focus on the one with which we identify. Depending on the nature of your identification, you may find focusing on it as easy or fun, or you may find it as a futile uphill battle to plug an insecurity in that area. For instance on the latter, my friend recently told me about a personal growth seminar where there was a multi-PhD Nobel laureate who just realized that he spent his life trying to prove his intelligence after being told he was stupid at a young age. Realizing this and freeing himself from it allows him to be joyful with his achievements and step down off the treadmill of frustration. Either way, there's nothing wrong with such identification, which provides an opportunity for mindfulness and personal growth.<br /><br />We all know about physical pain, and we've begun to understand pain as a metaphor for our emotional states. These two types of pain are often what hold us back from spiritual transcendence. I see the four dimension shapes as more of a tetrahedron (3-sided pyramid) with the physical, emotional, and intellectual forming the base that the spiritual rests above. When we are unbalanced in the base, when there are acute issues (pains) in the base, it pulls us away from the spirituality in the top. </div> <div> <div> </div> <div> <div>Eckhart Tolle defines the <i>painbody</i> concept as "an accumulation of old emotional pain...that part of us that is addicted to negativity and unhappiness." Such an addiction is an important aspect to note. In <i>Tender is the Night</i>, F. Scott Fitzgerald notes on the alluring power of pain: "Sometimes it is harder to deprive oneself of a pain than of a pleasure." </div> <div> </div> <div><b>Mindfulness Practice of the Week</b><br />As this week's mindfulness practice, please take some time to explore your pains gently and curiously. It will not always be joyful, though I hope you will find it sublime in other ways. Find a physical sensation that is tight and stretch into that (perhaps with a yoga position). A hip stretch or a hamstring stretch is often ripe for this exercise.<br /></div> <div> </div> <div><b>My Experience</b><br />In <a id="dwz6" title="MPOW #19 - Exploring Your Edge" href="http://essey.blogspot.com/2009/06/mpow-19-exploring-your-edge.html">MPOW #19 - Exploring Your Edge</a>, I wrote about downward-facing pigeon pose (<a id="orw4" title="Adho Mukha Kapotasana" href="http://www.yogacards.com/yoga-postures-2/kapotasana-pigeon-pose-dw.html">Adho Mukha Kapotasana</a>). I write about this a lot because it is extremely powerful for me. My hips are probably the least flexible part of my body. A lifetime of overusing my legs has led to very tight legs and hips, and all of my dancing doesn't help! I remember my first yin yoga class primarily because of the pigeon pose. I did not get very deep, and we held this for a long time. I couldn't wait to get out of it, there was so much pain in my hips (but not in my knees, danger danger). Yogini Saiko was gentle and affirming, reminding the room that we didn't need to get to a particular place, we were already there. This moment on the yoga mat, in this pose was our gift to ourselves. As long as we were in this pose, we would gain benefit especially if we could breath normally and stop fidgetting. This was only going to be a short time, so opening up to it was only temporary, but the benefit would be forever. I felt so much pain in my tight hips trying to open that I'm surprised that I heard. Likely this was because I was listening intently for the signal to leave this crazy pose. It felt like forever. It was really 7 minutes. Then, when I thought that we were there, she had us thread the needle to one side. oh my gosh! It went even deeper! I started to meditate on the pain. My entire universe was filled with pain. Eventually, I because the pain itself. This was when it stopped hurting. It's hard to feel pain when that's what you are. You are the pain being inflicted on another body. Eventually, and this was one of the most transcendental experiences that I've ever had, I became pure awareness that was watching the pain and the body from a removed place off to the side. I was witness to pain and stretching, to opening.<br /><br />When we eventually transitioned to the other leg, I spent a moment experiencing pain again. As I breathed into the pain in the hips, it just deepened and deepened. The pain washed over me. Though, the pilot light was already lit, and my awareness became free of pain and body. I find that the more I experience these states, my mind and body remember how to return to them.<br /><br />The hips are said to store a lot of emotional pain and stress, and that the process of stretching the hips brings this to the surface. When all of the pains release as one, we may raise to our spiritual existence. Once I became happy with my progress, I returned to my body and the pain returned to it. Ahh, that was conceit, a trapping of the ego. That isn't the goal. Rewarding and loving yourself and others is the goal. The transcendence and complete opening can only come when you don't want it, though have prepared yourself for it.<br /></div></div></div>Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-88750951732687401482009-07-06T19:06:00.000-07:002009-07-06T19:07:26.029-07:00MPOW #24 - Witnessing Self-Judgment“Our opinions of ourselves actually get in the way of being ourselves.” -<a title="Jon Kabat-Zinn" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Kabat-Zinn" id="fwwh">Jon Kabat-Zinn</a>, 2007<br /><br />My friend and fellow salsa and tango dancer recently shared this. It's such a simple and powerful notion to reflect on. For fun, I'll look at it in the context of a dance class. A dance class can often function as a individual or couples therapy, and like any really effective therapy session often involves a meditative state.<br /><br />Early in a dance class series, you may already be judging yourself: "I'm too fat." "I'm too weak." "I'm not attractive enough to be here." "I'm wearing the wrong clothes and look sloppy." "I'm the best looking person here." "I'm already a better dancer than these other people; I shouldn't be here." "I'm really good at this already." <br /><br />Dancing is just an idea here, and you may feel this in any class or any gathering. You quickly catch yourself judging yourself or others. Over time, you may begin to be down on yourself for where you are or over-inflate your internal image and miss opportunities. Remember that <a title="Stories Define Reality" href="http://essey.blogspot.com/2009/04/stories-define-reality.html" id="c6j_">Stories Define Reality</a>, so tread cautiously where you enter story-ground.<br /><br />Sometimes, in a dance class though, if you're eager and comfortable being there, you're often in a wide-open state of learning, receptive to teaching and improvements without judging yourself. This is often referred to as "beginner's mind" or <i>shoshin</i> in the Zen tradition. This is an important state to cultivate at all times, no matter your skill level: "In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's there are few."<br /><br />The less that you know about yourself, the less that you box yourself in to a particular definition. Our authentic selves are all limitless and expansive, the more that we form opinions or place definitions on ourselves, the tighter the box that we have created. We begin to limit our infinite nature to something that we can understand or explain. Even if we are being positive, this actually does us a disservice by both making us narrow and also less likely to learn.<br /><b><br />The Mindfulness Practice of the Week - Witnessing Self-Judgment</b><br />For this week, take some time to explore how you define yourself. You can do this while doing something of any skill level. Likely, it is easier to notice when we beat ourselves up. So, throughout the week, take some time to do something which which you're uncomfortable, such as stripping down in front of a full length mirror, and deeply examine yourself. Are you judging? Are you noticing flaws? See if you can recognize the judgments that you can make about yourself, and let them go. What do you notice as you do this? What are the concepts that you repeat. <br /><br />Be gentle with yourself as you notice these things. In <a title="From Self Judgment to Being Ourselves" href="http://www.dharma.org/ij/archives/2002b/self_judgment.htm" id="dq-i">From Self-Judgment to Being Ourselves</a> Dianna Winston reminds us how normal it is to engage in this comparison:<br /><blockquote>The Buddha had a word for comparison, the word màna, which means pride or ego or thinking too much about ourselves. A lot of our judgments say “I’m greater than, I’m lesser than, or I’m equal to this or that,” and this is just màna— pride or ego coming up in the mind. The thing that I find so interesting about màna is that 2500 years ago, when the Buddha was alive, people were judging themselves just as much as we do now. They were judging others, and comparing everything. When I remember this I think, “Oh, actually ‘comparing mind’ is normal. Everybody does it.”<br /></blockquote><br />See if you can let them evaporate and just be <a title="Comfortable with What Is" href="http://essey.blogspot.com/2009/04/comfortable-with-what-is.html" id="id53">Comfortable with What Is</a>.<br /><br /><i>This post is dedicated to my friend and dancing psychologist Solomon Kurz.</i>Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-43800264724897809952009-07-04T13:08:00.000-07:002009-07-04T13:12:33.744-07:00On Twitter @edgesseyI'm definitely not bleeding edge nor even an early adopter on this tide. However, I've finally joined Twitter, <a title="over two months after Oprah" href="http://features.csmonitor.com/innovation/2009/04/17/oprah-tweets-twitter-arrives/" id="x-iu">over two months after Oprah</a>. I'm not really sure what I'll get out of it, and that's actually the largest motivation. I've been reading (e.g. <a title="Clay Shirky" href="http://www.shirky.com/herecomeseverybody/" id="r45y">Clay Shirky</a>'s <u>Here Comes Everybody</u>), talking with friends, and watching from the sidelines to try to figure out the benefits and what this is all about. The most compelling argument so far has been: "you need to try it to really get it."<br /><br />Some people have expressed interest in following me, including an anonymous commenter on this blog. Being that my primary goal is to contribute to my <i>sangha </i>(sanskrit, basically meaning community, the community to which one shares), and Twitter is a good way to reach people in short bursts, I suspect and hope that this may be a great stream for it. Many of the same goals from <a title="Why I Blog" href="http://essey.blogspot.com/2009/02/why-i-blog.html" id="mwvs">Why I Blog</a> apply here, too.<br /><br /><b><a title="My Twitter Profile" href="http://twitter.com/edgessey" id="ke0c">My Twitter Profile</a> </b>Follow me<b> @edgessey</b><br /><b><br />What I'll Tweet</b><br />Between blog posts, I write lots of notes about what to post, collect lots of quotations, start on lots of ideas that either never make it to the blog or are sitting as drafts to later be published. Some of these are short bites that strike me in some way. These will likely be the types of things that I post. The sparks that move me, but I don't quite have enough meat for a blog post.<br /><br />Looking around Twitter, I see that people talk about themselves, what they're doing, bits of news, restaurant micro-reviews, etc. Just like there are so many things to cover in a blog, there are also infiinite things to cover on Twitter. My tweets will likely be morsels that I find wise, profound, inspiring, inspired, , moving, beautiful, heartfelt, sublime, earnest, or pognantly hilarious. <br /><br />I look forward to seeing where this goes. I hope that you choose to follow me and steer me in directions that are interesting to you, too.<br /><i><br />This post is dedicated to Josh Phillips, bleeding edge maestro, who finally convinced me to join Twitter.</i>Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-91124017054342795142009-07-01T09:53:00.000-07:002009-07-01T09:54:49.686-07:00Haiku #6 - On the BusRush hour herds workers<br />Throught knots. Crossing a bridge, we<br />Look from screens--serene.Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-1758131678433510942009-06-30T09:16:00.000-07:002009-07-01T09:55:03.609-07:00MPOW #23 - Your Spiritual TaskOnce you understand your basic <a id="nalc" title="Buddhist Personality Type" href="http://essey.blogspot.com/search?q=buddhist+personality+type">Buddhist Personality Type</a>, you can use this as a vehicle for awakening. I refer again to the <a id="p-yl" title="Which Buddhist Personality Type Are You?" href="http://www.tricycle.com/feature/which-buddhist-personality-type-are-you">Which Buddhist Personality Type Are You?</a> quiz from <a id="twre" title="Tricycle: The Buddhist Review" href="http://www.tricycle.com/">Tricycle: The Buddhist Review</a> magazine. If you haven't read this already, it's quick, easy, and a bit fun, too. The article defines custom mindfulness practices for each type.<br /><blockquote><p>Each type has a spiritual task to accomplish. The spiritual task of the greedy type is to transform the desire for sense objects into a desire to know the Three Jewels: Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. Greedy types need to balance their optimism with an awareness of suffering. Practices that can help the greedy type include: contemplation of old age, sickness, death, and impermanence, meditation on the 32 parts of the body; generosity; renunciation; noticing the ending of experiences; putting oneself in uncomfortable, unpleasant situations (in order to become disenchanted with sense pleasures); slowing down; and taking the Three Refuges.</p><p><br /></p><p>The spiritual task of the aversive type is to transform the critical mind through wisdom and insight. Aversive types need to learn to relax, question their beliefs about being “right,” and notice joy in addition to suffering. Practices for the aversive type are: lovingkindness, compassion, mindfulness of mind, humor, faith, patience, open awareness, and putting oneself in pleasant surroundings in order to soften the heart and connect with life.</p><p><br /></p><p>The spiritual task of the deluded type is to transform spaciousness into a state of rooted equanimity. Deluded types need to learn how to reel in their minds. Practices useful for a deluded type include: noting (labeling); mindfulness of the hindrance of doubt; body awareness; somatic experiencing; qigong or yoga; precision; mindfulness of the earth element, and putting oneself in safe and pleasant surroundings to prevent dissociation. </p></blockquote>This week, mindfully take at least one small step on your spiritual task each day. We are all created different from each other and no single personality type truly defines. We also change from moment to moment. The personality type is not meant to completely define you. It simply serves as a guide on your path of awakening, or a helpful tool to increase your mindfulness. Have fun with it and bring yourself a little bit closer to your edge.Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-72227875477658033252009-06-23T00:48:00.000-07:002009-06-23T00:49:58.529-07:00MPOW #22 - "Gain and victory to others; loss and defeat to myself.""Gain and victory to others; loss and defeat to myself." - Tibetan Buddhist saying<br /><br />Pema Chodron explains this powerful slogan to cultivate generosity and vulnerability in <u>Start Where You Are</u>. This writing borrows a lot from that and from my own experience using it this past week. The slogan definitely needs some explaining. A big part of the <a title="Words Are Powerfu" href="http://essey.blogspot.com/2009/03/words-are-powerful.html" id="s8j:">Words Are Powerfu</a>l observation is that words are often overloaded or miscommunicated, and this quotation particularly so.<br /><br /><i>Loss and defeat to myself</i> does not mean to extend an invitation to the world to attack you with slings and arrows. It is not encouragement to submit to having your bones broken and head kicked in. It is a reminder to allow your armor to come down and let yourself feel vulnerable. Every time that something hurts us, including emotionally, we have the tendency to fly, fight, or fortify. Likely this comes from the reptilian center of our brain's fight-or-flight response. Perhaps when we are socially ostracized, we feel that we are going to die. I recently heard Keith Ferrazzi (author of <u>Never Eat Alone</u> and recently <u>Who's Got Your Back</u>) deliver a presentation with <i>vulnerability</i> as a major theme. He spoke about how the feeling of sudden death due to embarrassment--"oh, I could just die"--likely has childhood roots. As young children, we are entirely dependent on our parents and guardians. If we are embarrassed, the mammalian centers of our brains fear rejection that will exclude us from this circle upon which we completely rely, which may leave us without sustenence and loving connection. So, from a young age, we have built up a response to treat even emotional dings from social slights as physical threats.<br /><br />So, from youth, we build up an armor, layers and layers of constricting mail, a helmet, a shield, gloves, and boots. Every time we put up another shield, it makes our world a little smaller, every layer makes us a little more removed from the world as it is. Our protection in response to our fears makes a weaker version of ourselves hiding in a shell. It's not a bad thing; it's a trade-off. Though, it is a trade-off that makes us less and less flexible, our perspective more and more narrow, and removes the expansive potential of our world. Another thing that we learn over time, is that this defense isn't reliable. It doesn't really work. There's always a chink in the armor, or a time when it's down; we let it down sometimes when we connect with others. Then, we accidentally get hurt only to return to the armory for renewed fortifications to avoid being hurt. And this may work for another week or two.<br /><br />There's an alternative. For your mindfulness practice, discover your armor, the ways that you protect yourself. See if you can peel off the armor and be as you are. Intentionally and methodically allow yourself to be vulnerable. Challenge your comfort to go out into the world without armor and experience it naturally. Allow yourself to realize that you can survive loss and defeat.<br /><br />During this time of vulnerability, you have an excellent opportunity to cultivate your generosity. Rather than using your energy to inflate yourself at the expense of others, do the opposite. Put your energy into helping others win. Celebrate their victories. There are many things to notice. Here are three of them that I find curious and charming. First, of the six point seven billion people in the world, there are a lot more victories and gains to celebrate than if you only celebrate your own. The second is that you come to realize your connectedness with others, you find a unity in humanity. The third one is ironic, working toward the gain and victory of others often brings positivity back to you in as possibly a karmic effect of "no good deed goes unrewarded." Be careful of the trap here, though. Remember loss and defeat unto yourself, the point is the gain and victory unto others, not funding your own karmic bank.<br /><br />For this week's mindfulness practice, keep that slogan in mind through your day and through your actions. This vulnerability is a sweet and elegant thing. It's what I mean when I wrote <a title="On Cracking Creme Brulee" href="http://essey.blogspot.com/2009/06/haiku-4-on-cracking-creme-brulee.html" id="x-mc">On Cracking Creme Brulee</a>.<br /><i><br />This post is dedicated to my friend Mariko Hosokawa, who loves creme brulee, She is as charmingly vulnerable as can be, every bit of her essence is the creme brulee that she loves so much.</i>Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-54214335833031482172009-06-16T00:06:00.001-07:002009-06-16T00:07:22.981-07:00MPOW #21 - Waterfall of LightThis mindfulness practice of the week is one about nourishment and healing.<b> </b>In MPOW #15 - Authentic Self, I wrote about an authentic waterfall that's nurturing and welcoming enough for you to meet your authentic self. This same waterfall can be used to heal your emotional self. We all have blockages, places in our body where we are tight or sore, places were we cannot stretch, places where we store the stresses of our lives. <br /><br />These places can represent emotional blockages, too. For example, a too-rigid spine, one that cannot physically stretch, may represent how we are inflexible mentally. Both need to release at once. Allowing our vertebrae to have more space goes hand in hand with allowing our minds to be more curious and our hearts to be more open and accepting. Conversely, by releasing what blocks our curiousity and keeps us entrenched in narrow patterns (maybe fear, loss, a limited sense of identity), we also break through new ground in our bodies, feel more comfortable and at home there.<br /><br />Gently limber up--physically, emotionally, and mentally. This will allow you to free yourself from pains and blockages and give yourself a more living and flexible definition of self.<br /><b><br />The Practice</b><br />Find a comfortable position, seated or lying. I prefer to keep my head up and facing forward with my spine erect, though you may choose something else. Hold your hands palms up in front of your body. Allow yourself to calm down and relax from your busy life. <br /><br />You have a simple task for your mind to focus on. Imagine a healing, warm, loving, light-filled waterfall cascading over your body. If you are sitting, it massages the crown of your head and the tops of your shoulders, it soothes your neck and flows down your chest and back, it falls upon your legs and lap, and it makes you feel warm and cared for all over. If you are lying face up, it massages the tight muscles of your face and jaw, your throat, chest, and adbomen, your feet and legs and arms and hands. Or on your back in soothes your neck and back muscles, loosens your buttocks, and relaxes your hamstrings, calves and feet.<br /><br />Allow your mind to concentrate on creating the universe of this waterfall and all of its sensations. Scan the body as it is touched by this waterfall to identitfy blockages and allow the loving light and warmth of the water to soothe and release them. <br /><br />This is your own private spa, one that you can come back to any time to show yourself soothing love and healing relaxation.Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-5921063407115607032009-06-16T00:04:00.001-07:002009-07-04T11:45:52.161-07:00Haiku #5 - Buddhist with Beattitude<p>Karma sans dogma,</p><p>Buddhist with Beattitude,</p><p>One divinity.</p>Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-49282150423754894402009-06-09T23:23:00.000-07:002009-06-09T23:26:37.094-07:00MPOW #20 - Focus on Your Nostrils<p>This mindfulness practice of the week is another foundational practice. It is simply paying attention to your breath. Yogini Saiko introduced this to me in yin yoga class on Sunday and I find it a great way to get into a relaxed meditative state, even when I'm in monkey mind.</p><p><strong></strong> </p><p><strong>The Practice</strong></p><p>Sit or kneel in a relaxed meditative position with your spine erect. Place your hands in any configuration that works for you if you have a favorite. I suggest hands roughly palms up on the knees. When keeping your spine erect, imagine a string tied to the crown of your head, gently though firmly pulling you toward the sky. During the posture, allow your spine to relax if you feel too tense or extend a little more rigidly if you are losing focus or dosing off. The erectness of the spine is a useful and important element of posture to control in this and many meditations.</p><p>Allow yourself to settle your breathing naturally, without adhering to any particular pattern. When you are relaxed, you are ready to begin.</p><p>Bring your gentle attention to the front tips of your nostrils. Focus on this part of the body. As you pay attention to the inside of your nostrils, you may notice that your thoughts keep coming in. That's ok, recognize them as thoughts, gently label them as "thinking," and bring your attention back to your nostrils. Your thoughts will continue to come, but as you practice this, you will find more and more space between the thoughts. You are taking this time for yourself as a treat. So reward yourself by not judging your thinking. Use this time to be gentle with yourself and keep returning your attention to the tips of your nostrils.</p>Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-79546243858002899172009-06-07T09:28:00.001-07:002009-06-07T09:28:51.616-07:00Haiku #4 - On Cracking Creme BruleeCracking creme brûlée...<br />Pleasure. Vulnerable core<br />Beneath burnt, sweet crust.Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-86439795911099750932009-06-01T18:25:00.000-07:002009-06-01T18:29:21.629-07:00MPOW #19 - Exploring Your Edge“If I never explore my limits, my bodymind will gradually tighten and become unconscious. If I regularly explore my limits in a caring and adventuresome fashion, I will expand and grow in a vital fashion. But if I try to push myself past where I am honestly able to go, I will no longer be practicing ‘yoga’ but instead will be practicing ‘greed,’ and I will probably be met by pain and disease. Stated simply, it is the difference between <i>ignoring</i> your self, <i>making love to</i> yourself, and <i>raping</i> yourself.”<i> </i>–Ken Dychtwald, Bodymind<br /><br />To my great happiness, my yin yoga instructor <a title="Saiko" href="http://www.saikoyoga.com/" id="iyz0">Saiko</a> has returned from her travels and is teaching yoga in Seattle again. She read the above quotation during a several minute (around five minutes, relaxing into poses distinguishes <i>yin</i> yoga from other types) hold of downward-facing pigeon pose (<a title="Adho Mukha Kapotasana" href="http://www.yogacards.com/yoga-postures-2/kapotasana-pigeon-pose-dw.html" id="orw4">Adho Mukha Kapotasana</a>). I was stretching into my right hip, trying to maintain the exact right spot and hold there, and this quotation brought me to mindfulness about my relationship to my limits, my <i>edge</i>.<br /><br />In my physical yoga (<i>asana</i>) practice, I tend to find that I err on the side of pushing the edge to a spot that is aggressive against my muscles. In other aspects, I tend to err on the side of ignoring the edge. Dychtwald's wisdom need not be true for physical yoga alone, as the sanskrit word <i>yoga</i> means "discipline" or "alignment with divinity". So, substitute in any word for an activity or virtue with "yoga" and see where you fall in your explorations. The sanskrit word <i>yoga</i> is often translated to mean "action".<br /><br />"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space." - The slogan on one of my favorite teenage tees.<br /><b><br />Mindfulness Practice of the Week - Explore Your Edge</b><br />If you have yoga experience, I recommend trying this from <a title="pigeon pose" href="http://www.wikihealth.com/Pigeon_pose" id="ajfc">pigeon pose</a>. This is a challenging pose and can lead to knee damage if done incorrectly and you push yourself. So if you have never done it before with the help of a yoga instructor, try something simpler like Balasana <a title="child pose" href="http://www.yogaartandscience.com/poses/forext/child/child.html" id="f0q_">child pose</a> (toes together, knees on the ground shoulder width apart, butt on your heels with your arms stretched forward.<br /><br />Tips from the WikiHealth site: (<a title="pigeon pose" href="http://www.wikihealth.com/Pigeon_pose" id="upxe">pigeon pose)</a> <blockquote> <ul><li>Make sure to stay focused on the breathing as this pose can be intense. If you can, imagine that the breath is opening up space in the hip and releasing the tightness. </li><li>It is not unusual to experience a full range of sensations and emotions, from naseau to sadness and anger. Allow whatever your body is experiencing to move through you and stay connected to your breath. </li><li>It is estimated that the hips store physical and emotional build up/memory. Thus, it is common to experience a strong physical/emotional reaction when we are in the process of opening them. </li></ul> </blockquote> <a id="upxe"><br />From the pose, say the quote aloud in your mind and contemplate the ways in your life in which you are on the edge, avoiding the edge, and pushing past the edge. Don't berate yourself for missing the edge, just note it and calmly see if you can bring yourself back to the edge. Remember this as an exercise of loving yourself. Be tender, be gentle, be thorough.<br /></a><b><br />My Experience</b><br />As Saiko spoke these words and I focused on finding the edge, I noticed a shift in my hip muscles releasing and allowing me to sink much more deeply into the pose. I have known people to hold a lot of emotion in their hips and cry through and after pigeon pose. I never experienced that myself, though in this session, learning to love myself through yoga allowed me to physically open along with the opening of my symbolic heart.<br /><br />A meditation this weekend helped me realize that I had gone astray from the path of loving myself. Realizing this was all it took to get back on that path. I have again been able to turn off the mind and find some good rest. It reminds me of <a title="How I Learned to Take a Break from Analyzing and Start Loving Myself" href="http://essey.blogspot.com/2008/06/how-i-learned-to-take-break-from.html" id="wl7s">How I Learned to Take a Break from Analyzing and Start Loving Myself</a>.Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5162916.post-75213157782486522842009-05-30T20:14:00.000-07:002009-05-30T20:24:17.826-07:00Haiku #3 - Surrender the OarsNo course inspired me,<div>So I surrendered the oars.</div><div>The current: perfect</div>Ed Esseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16327936525690233716noreply@blogger.com0