Due to economic considerations I will have to cancel the Anxiety Guru Show indefinitely at the end of November 2009.  The cost associated with the show and the time needed to produce the content have proven to be too much for my current budget.  As most of you know I operate this site by myself and make no profit whatsoever.  And although the cost are not significant, taken all through the year this creates a problem. During these hard times it does not make economic sense to continue to produce the podcast.  Hopefully one day when things improve I will be able to relaunch the Anxiety Guru Show but for now this makes the most sense.

Like I said above I plan to shut down the podcast by the end of November 2009.  When this happens you will not be able to play or download any of the podcasts. As a result, if you’re interested in any of the episodes I encourage you to download them now while they are still available.

I’d also like to thank all the listeners who have spent their valuable time listening to me ramble on about how to live an anxious life.  I sincerely appreciate all the emails and messages I received about how the program has helped so many.  I really am disappointed about this and I hope to bring the show back to life one day.  But like Kenny Rogers once said, “You got to know when to hold’em, know when to fold’em, know when to walk away”.

Lastly, the Anxiety Guru website itself will not suffer the same fate. I will continue to provide content through this site and hope that people find as much value in that as they did the podcast.

The wonderful thing about the modern age is that all of us generally have tons of information and services at the tips of our fingers.  In the United Stated for example we have access to all types of information at blazing speed, a ginormous health care apparatus, and a zillion options to handle almost anything ailing us.  And yet given all this, you will still have an anxiety relapse.

In other words you can know all there is to know about your condition, take meds, have access to world class widgets and all the rest of it and days, weeks or even years later anxiety can hit your grey matter as fast as the rotation of a pulsar (i.e., super fast).  You could have been feeling fine for a long time and may have even forgotten about your hellish experience with anxiety but can suddenly find yourself in the midst of a panic attack and start wondering … what the hell is going on?

In my experience most people that search for anxiety related issues on the internet are having an anxiety relapse after a lull in symptoms.  Or it could have been that their symptoms lessened in intensity but now have increased exponentially without any known cause.  So why does this happen?

Why? Why you? Why now? Let me ask you a question. Why does knowing the cause matter?  In my view this is a waste of energy and produces more stress.  You could chase your tail for decades and never know why.  Anxiety disorders generally occur because of a string of complex connections between your genes, your environment, your thought processes, your biases, false beliefs, assumptions, brain chemistry, and thinking errors.  So there you go, but chewing on these facts won’t help you cope.

Honestly, and you might hate me for saying it, anxiety disorder is generally a life long ailment.  You could be the lucky winner if an anxious free life, but chances are that you will end up like the majority of people with an anxiety disorder that don’t get that winning ticket.  But let’s not get too grim about this whole thing.

Keeping the proper perspective and the appropriate level of expectation is the key to handling this situation.  You must understand that anxiety will raise its ugly head, assuming your anxiety disorder has been confirmed, again and again.  If you not only understand this but accept it as reality then you’re more likely to respond in a healthy way.  It’s a bitter pill to swallow but its true.

Also, in terms of dealing with anxiety relapses the game plan stays the same.  And in fact it would be beneficial to incorporate the things that help you cope with anxiety into your daily life.  So don’t just exercise, eat healthy, meditate, deep breath, see a therapist and use all the other tactics you implement just when you’re consumed with feelings of intense anxiety.  Think mitigation.

You have to make coping a part of your life, and when necessary, ramp up the intensity of your efforts to counter the effects of the recurring spikes of anxiety that you will have throughout your life.  I would say hey just keep the stress down and you’ll be alright, but that’s not a realistic approach.  After all if you’re alive you are, at least to some degree, stressed out about something or other almost always, just life.

My advice is that you should maintain your anti-anxiety regiment as I outlined above but also make sure that you don’t blow things out of proportion when a relapse occurs.  This is a huge problem with anxiety sufferers.  They tend to escalate things to their extreme with expeditious haste then find themselves in a pit of misery and uncertainty.  No need for all that.

Have a frank discussion with yourself one of these days, especially if you’re having an anxiety relapse right now.  Tell yourself that anxiety does not kill, anxiety will not make you go crazy, and the spike that you’re having will subside.  Challenge yourself to not give in to false beliefs created by your scared mind.

Ultimately having anxiety is … what’s the word, Arrghhh. That’s not a word but its a feeling I’m sure you get a lot.  Just frustration, anger, worry and fear, pure blah.  Again, despite this you have to stay focused on the reality that anxiety is a chronic condition that can be managed and will not cause heart attacks in and of themselves.

You can still be happy, but don’t get stuck and lost just because you encounter setbacks, it happens.  Don’t beat yourself up because this is not your fault, you’re not weak, your not dumb or crazy, simply anxious.

Some people have herpes (sorry kind of gross), others bad knees and so on, well you got ‘bad nerves’.  Don’t get sucked into any pity parties and be patient because you will bounce back.  Just remember what good ole Confucius once said “our greatest glory is not in never falling, but rising everytime we fall”.

Now you may or may not be a selfish person at heart but the fact of the matter is that anxiety and depression can make you selfish or at the very least make you seem selfish to others.  Do you spend a lot of time wrapped in your own thoughts?  Are you consumed by the next possible anxiety related disaster?  Then chances are that you’re struggling to get outside of yourself and maybe even having  trouble in your personal relationships.  However, even if this is the case you can make a change and not only preserve your relationships, but also improve your anxiety symptoms in the process.

This issue came up when I was contacted by a reader that wanted to know about selfishness and its affect on relationships.  I immediately knew that this would be a great topic of discussion because it effects so many of us on a daily basis.  Below you’ll find the show notes, an mp3 player, and a download link.  So sit back, relax and ponder some of the issues that are raised so you can comment and add a wider perspective and by extension help others understand what they need to do to be less selfish, less anxious, and happy.

The Cause of Selfishness

• Born from constant introspection.
• Related to internal struggle with anxiety and or depression.
• Anxiety and Depression tend to consume the individual making it more likely that the outside world will be shut out.
• Selfishness can arise because of a deep seeded need to maintain control and monitor the self to avoid danger, unpleasant feelings or thoughts.
• Selfishness generally not the goal for anxious people but more the outcome of a process.  Its more about self concern than it is the pursuit of self interest.

Problems That Selfishness Can Cause In Relationships

• Causes distance between you and those you love.
• Your self concern and your problems are sometimes seen as baseless self-centeredness.
• Anxiety and Depression cause fatigue, fear and worry which all contribute to feelings of isolation, a reluctance to enjoy life and the company of others.
• Loved ones can grow frustrated since they want to help but don’t know how.

Solutions

• Practice compassion.
• Get outside of yourself and literally get outside as well.
• Communicate positively by being open and not making everything about you or your own problems.  But also don’t be afraid to say what kind of support you need.
• Live in the present.  Future thinking and regrets about the past are counterproductive. Make time for loved ones.
• Make an effort to be with those you love in meaningful ways.

Side note: If you have questions or topics you would like to have discussed on Anxietyguru.net send me an email at info@anxietyguru.net.

Music by: Thundas Ink - “Bad Weather”

Sleep is perhaps one of the most loved and hated activities on earth.  On the one hand it takes up a lot of our time, makes us less productive, and can preoccupy our thoughts if something disrupts it.  On the other hand, sleep is nourishing to the entire body and it is also absolutely necessary.  Learning how to get sleep, even in the face of anxiety, depression and stress is a critical component of any strategy aimed at recharging your emotional battery and living a less anxious life.

The Dali Lama once said that “sleep is the best meditation” and as most of us know meditation can help reduce or in some cases even eliminate our emotional and spiritual difficulties.  So what is it about sleep that helps and what exactly can you do to get better, easier, healing sleep?

First, let me briefly highlight why getting enough sleep is so important.  Most people may be surprised to learn that getting less sleep does not only increase fatigue, stress, anxiety, and irritability it can also increase mortality risk more than heart disease, high blood pressure or smoking.  Losing as little as an hour of sleep can impair memory, alertness, and energy levels.

As many as 70 million Americans suffer from some kind of sleep disturbance of some kind.  And we’re not just talking insomnia here, but also things like taking a long time to fall asleep, sleeping very few hours, and waking up frequently throughout the night.  Not getting enough sleep is a big deal and unfortunately for too many people that suffer from anxiety and depression this is a problem that just won’t go away.  And so what is the main problem when it comes to sleep disturbances you might ask? In a word - stress.

Psychological stress of any kind can disturb sleep, now multiply that by ten when you suffer from anxiety and or depression.  After all, what is anxiety and depression at its most basic level?  Pure stress.  The kind that, yup you guessed it, keeps you up at night.  So let’s explore how you can improve upon or depending on your circumstance maybe even prevent sleep problems.

1. Before you lay your head down to sleep take a moment to clear your thoughts.  If, like I believe, this is all about stress then you must take a few minutes to purposefully relax, take in deep breaths, and lay down the burden of the previous day.  You must make an effort to relinquish your death grip on the worry, ‘what if’s’, and rumination that you indulged in earlier.  Sounds complicated but basically you need to clear your mind.

2.  Watch what you eat prior to bedtime.  If you have issues with anxiety and stress the last thing you need before bed is sugar, caffeine, alcohol or any other substance that will evoke extreme highs or lows.  In addition, as an anxiety sufferer you may have issues with GERD or heartburn so stay away from foods that are known to upset your stomach.  Sounds simple enough but you’d be surprised how many people have that late night snack and don’t consider its possible affects on their sleep patterns.

3.  Make sure your bed isn’t a lump of rocks.  I know that beds are not the cheapest purchase in the world that you can make but this really does matter.  If you’re sleeping on a ten year old hand me down you might want to consider an upgrade.  And if money is a problem then talk to friends and family that might be able to either give you an old (but better) bed, or maybe help fund your better sleep campaign.

4. Make a schedule and stick to it.  Going to bed and waking up at the same time every night can bring you into a rhythm and help to reset your internal clock.

5. Get plenty of exercise.  You don’t have to go to the gym everyday or become a power lifter to get the benefits of exercise.  Just 30 minutes a day of light to moderate exercise (i.e., increase your heart rate) can help produce endorphins that give a sense of well being and relaxation.  The bottom line is that exercise can help you get to sleep sooner and stay there until morning.

6. Set the right conditions.  If you like it dark then turn off all the lights.  Have a partner to contend with?  Consider wearing a sleep mask and or ear plugs to tune out any unwanted distractions.  Don’t just get annoyed with that loud neighbor get smart and adapt.

7. If things get tough take a warm bath.  You don’t have to soak for hours but a quick 10-15 minute warm shower will relax your muscles, reduce tension and relax you in general.

8. Noise.  Surprisingly some folks like it noisy in their bedrooms just before falling asleep.  You can try white noise machines, soothing music, or even television with low volume set to turn off in 30-60 minutes.  The latter option is not really liked by sleep sanctuary proponents, but I say if noise and dim light is what you need then go ahead and do what works.

9. Sleep Accessories.  In this case we are not talking leg warmers, but rather comfortable sheets, suitable pillows, comfortable sleep wear.  You have to be comfortable.

10. Up keep.  Make sure that your sleep quarters make you feel good.  If you have tons of clutter all over the place this could affect your mood, even cause you some stress.  Unless you actually like things out of order having things organized and in their proper place can create order and peace.

11. Medication. You can purchase over the counter sleep aides or you can get a more powerful prescription.  But in either case if things are so hard that you feel you need medication to sleep be sure to consult your doctor first.  You want to know what works and what does not, but more importantly you want to stay safe. Beware of addiction.

12. Light Therapy. In a nutshell light therapy involves exposing you to bright artificial light that is supposed to reproduce daylight conditions and help reset your internal clock.  The theory is that light therapy can help create regular sleep patterns and get you to sleep sooner.

13. Don’t smoke.

14. Do not bring your work to bed.  Do you really need a reminder of why you’re stressed to begin with?  The bedroom is for relaxation and sleep, not work.

15. Read. I don’t know about you but if I can’t sleep picking up a copy of an old college text book equals lights out.  Anything with dense prose will do.

16. Visualization.  This is perhaps one of my all time favorite.  When you lay down take a mental picture of what you would like to be in life, the more far out the better and run with the thought.  What is the perfect you?  What is your perfect state of mind?  Pursue that thought into a waking dream.

17. No problem analyzing.  When in bed avoid the anxious thinking of your day by refocusing your attention elsewhere.  This ties into visualization but its also its own entry.  Try not to consider what went wrong that day or what might go wrong tomorrow.  Live in that moment and keep your attention there.

18. Sex. If you have a partner then consider sex.  Sex is a great way to reduce tension, stress, and release all the things weighing you down.  It is the ultimate here and now activity and its free!

19. Breathing exercises.  Doing breathing exercises like belly breathing and similar techniques can calm your body, mind and don’t require a lot of preparation or set up.

20. Lying in bed with your eyes open?  Don’t focus on the clock, don’t start pacing, be patient.  If need be get out of bed and watch t.v. for 30 minutes, meditate, then try again.

Summary

Sleep is critical to good physical and mental health.  Learning different techniques to help you sleep I think is the key.  You may have to experiment and tinker a bit with all the available methods of better sleep but just understand that you don’t have to go without sleep.  So how much sleep do you need?

There is a growing body of research that suggest that we all should get between 6.5 to 8 hours of sleep a night.  Keep in mind that both people that sleep too much and those that don’t sleep enough suffer from higher rates of all significant types of ailments like cancer and heart disease for example.  Also, don’t feel pressured to get 8 hours of sleep every night.  This seems to have become the magic number but getting a little less is actually more ideal.  Generally you want to sleep until you are rejuvenated and not more.  In this way quality is just as important as quantity.

Ultimately you have to do what works for you.  If you have been struggling for any prolonged amount of time be sure to speak with your doctor.  Above all, if you suffer with sleep disturbance don’t lose hope.  Educate yourself, be proactive and be patient.

Definitions

In their quest for peace of mind and reassurance anxiety sufferers will often seek answers and details about their condition wherever they can find them.  Answers that inevitably have to do with their chronic symptoms, whether it be headaches, muscle twitch, dizziness, panic, chest pain or any other symptom in the never ending  list of anxiety manifestations.  And of all the tools that help facilitate the search for further understanding of anxiety disorders the internet is perhaps the most used, influential, and potentially damaging.

Seeking information on the internet about your symptoms is most often an exercise in futility and fear generation.  Think about this for a moment.  So you develop a pain or an ache somewhere, then you hop on the information superhighway and track down the 788 possibilities causing the pain, then you select one.  So you have just gone from having a pain somewhere to now having diagnosed yourself with a brain tumor or fill in the blank disease.  Now if you repeat this sequence of events on a regular basis you just might be a cyberchondriac.

As I think you can see, cyberchondriac is a relatively new word that combines the words cyber which is an internet related prefix, and chondriac from the word hypochondriac.  Put another way, cyberchondria literally means internet health phobia.  Like most health conditions there are degrees of course.  So that if you occasionally troll the internet for the meaning of some symptom it doesn’t necessarily make you a cyberchoindriac.  So in that case what does make you a cyberchondriac?

Essentially what differentiates a cyberchondriac from a casual internet surfer looking for information boils down to two words; excessive and persistent.  If you use the internet to investigate many of your anxiety related symptoms excessively and persistently then you are in fact a cyberchondriac.

Tools of the Trade

Although you obviously need a computer and internet connection to indulge in this behavior these are not the only tools anxiety sufferers use to get their fix.  The medical website is the major source and tool used to get what is needed and what is needed is immediate answers to a plethora of perplexing symptoms.  Websites like Webmd, Wrongdiagnosis, Healthline and many others are filled with articles, definitions, and even symptom checkers that allow you to input your symptoms and receive a number of possible causes.

Its also not just the major websites that have these resources.  Google and other large search engines are also used to find smaller websites in an effort to collect and find information about phyiscal symptoms.  For example, if you go to Google right now and type in “chest pain” you will get 19,300,000 results in 0.23 seconds.  This is impressive but for the anxiety sufferer this is also problematic.

The Problem

Using the internet to self diagnose is fraught with problems.  Now I don’t know about you but I don’t know what makes one diagnosis more possible than another.  This is because all the conditions that could be causing your pain can present very similar symptoms.  Example, say you have a fever.  Do you have a cold or the flu?  Or do you have some other type of viral infection?  The truth is that this is why medical doctors exist to interpret this very type of thing.  And even with 10 years of training and many years of experience sometimes doctors misdiagnose.  Now what are the odds of us being right more often? Slim at best.

There is also the matter of jumping to conclusions.  As an anxiety sufferer you’re more likely to assume the worst of any symptom because of the all or nothing thinking typically associated with anxiety disorders.  This is perhaps the biggest problem because you are leaving it to your anxious mind to discern if that tension headache is actually something more serious.  Give an anxious mind the opportunity and it will turn your imagined disease into the belief in actual sickness.  This is not conducive to less anxiety and in fact you are more likely to jack up the intensity of your fears, worry, anticipation of the worst.

The Solution

To want to know is human nature.  The desire to understand is coded into our DNA much like the Lion’s DNA code that tells it to hunt.  But if you are a cyberchondriac you must resist this urge.  Make a mindful effort to not engage in self diagnosis and by extension avoid the torment of thinking that your death is imminent when its really not.

Ultimately not all internet searches for medical information is bad, indeed, some is very useful.  Have a cold and need a home remedy to relieve that cough?  The internet could turn up a useful recipe that uses everyday household foods.  But when applied to collecting information about anxiety symptoms the outcome is starkly different, usually fruitless, and ends in several personal catastrophes.  Imagine then, engaging in cyberchondriac behavior could lead one to think that they have heart disease, cancer, kidney failure, HIV, and hepatitis all in less than a month.  If that’s not stressful I don’t know what is.

It could be argued that casual surfing on the internet to obtain information about anxiety symptoms is harmless.  Almost a pastime much like looking up the news or some other entertainment.  But to talk about cyberchondria as something trivial is a mistake.  There is nothing casual about building more fear and expanding the base of your anxiety.  And doing this on a persistent basis could be a major setback.

Doing too much of anything can be a bad thing.  Eating too much, drinking too much, taking risks too often.  When you abandon moderation and go head long into anything chances are the results will not always be what you intended.  That innocent internet search for a fast heart beat could very well start you on the road to endless medical theories concocted by fearful and distorted thinking.

Are you a cyberchondriac or at least have cyberchondriac tendencies?  This is a question worth asking yourself.  It’s important because knowing if this is a behavior that affects you could help you make better choices in the future.  Its analogues to watching the news everyday then complaining that the world is really an awful place.  Know what you need to know and refrain from bombarding yourself with useless information that really only serves to stress you out.  Have a real symptom that concerns you?  Go see a doctor.

If you’re unsatisfied with that doctors evaluation then get a second opinion.  However once you have been cleared of having any serious medical condition stop the search.  Stop yourself from opening that can of medical worms that needs to stay closed in order for you to continue your progression toward a less anxious life.  Otherwise you open the door to thoughts that come at machine gun speed and serve no other purpose than making you more anxious.