Work done by Zeo at Studio 8 Tattoo in Houston.

I’m already debating what I want to get next.

I don’t yet have any invites to send out, sorry.

From: Bill Bradford 
Subject: Re: Gimme, gimme, gimme 
To: Jeff Bewley 
Date: Thu, 12 Oct 1995 15:32:15 -0500 (CDT)
In-Reply-To: <199510122020.PAA08909@ion1.ionet.net>
from "Jeff Bewley" at Oct 12, 95 03:20:30 pm

> Well, folks, sorry to whine again,

Oh, no problem, wabbit@tulsa-victim.ionet.net.   We're used
to it by now. 

> Seriously, I have one #2 Win disk left, and I haven't ever
> got any Win95 disks...I know you guys hate running the
> Disk-o-matic 2000, but I hate having people stop by
> and get in my face for not having the software.  

I'll tell Jay when he gets here to fire it up.

> Thanks! I'll buy ya'll a beer next time I'm in OKC (heh..
> have fun splitting that can of Natural Light between
> the three of ya!)

Honestly, I just might be OLD ENOUGH by the time you get
down here to actually DRINK it!  I turn 21 on 11/5.
NOW if I can just get Mom to buy me that Netra5 for
my birthday.....  

> Seriously, I'd really appreciate any help you could give me on
> this! Thanks!

Will do.

bill

Jeff's comment, "No matter how bad things get, they'll never be as bad as duplicating install disks for Win95 at ioNET."

After everything that’s happened in the past four months after Amy’s death, I now know what I”m going to get. Shortly after I’m Raised to Master Mason (hopefully on my birthday, November 5th), I’ll go down the street from my house and get this on my right upper arm, probably 3″x3″:

Why the Masonic Square and Compasses? Because it’s an organization I’ve wanted to join for years, finally joined last October, and my lodge Brothers are some of the main people who have kept me alive, sane, and occupied after Amy’s passing.

For a second tattoo, I may eventually get this, on my left upper arm:

Why this? Because Amy’s online nickname was “Steggy”, short for “Stegosaurus”. I think she would like it.

I will probably get the work done at The Electric Chair on Richmond, unless anyone has a recommendation for a better shop in that part of town.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about things lately. Where I’ve been in life, what I’ve done, where I want to go, or heck, even what to have for lunch lately. Goals – stuff I wanted to do, stuff that’s happened, and things that I want to happen. Short and long-term.

If I had to name my biggest personality fault, it’s that when I’m in a relationship with someone, I will do my utmost to make them happy. I’ll do whatever is necessary (whether it involves physical actions, spending money, etc) to ensure their happiness – even if in the past that meant sacrificing some of my own satisfaction or contentment.

I would give up or postpone my own personal desires, wants, and needs in order to make sure that the other person got what they wanted, was able to go where they wanted to go, or do what they wanted to do. More than once I’ve sold my own personal property to make up for a shortcoming in money management to make sure that bills were paid, or to ensure that we could afford that pair of designer shoes or a purse that they wanted. For years, I’ve gotten used to giving up things that I’ve worked hard for and enjoyed.

This all boils down to the fact that I’ve done this too many times and that from now on, it’s time to make sure that I’m happy too. It’s possible for both myself and the person I’m with to be happy with the way things are, and that’s the way it’s going to be from now on.

Sure, every relationship involves some compromise, but there’s no longer going to be any “suck up and live with it” or “grin and bear it” or “I put up with it because I love her” excuses for things that shouldn’t be going on in the first place. It’s OKAY to say “Look, what you’re doing is not right” or “you need to sit down and please think about what your habit is doing to yourself, our relationship, and how it affects our finances”.

I’ve realized that unconditional love doesn’t have to mean unconditional sacrifice. It IS possible for BOTH people in a relationship to be happy.

It’s time for me to be truly happy again.

Of course, Amy is in the back wearing blue.

Update: Nancy sent me two more pictures.

We met online about a month ago, and at first just intended to hang out as friends and swap stories (she also lost her spouse, a couple of years ago). However, things just CLICKED. I feel like I’ve known her for years, and really enjoy the time we get to spend together. Among other things, it’s nice to be able to swap “spouse stories” without the other person getting annoyed. I don’t have to worry about bursting into tears when talking about happy memories of Amy and our years together.

She’s been thorougly checked out and vetted. My good friend (and ex-girlfriend) Cassandra met her over the Labor day weekend and wholeheartedly approved. I told my shrink (who was also Amy’s doctor) about Kathy a few days ago, and she said “Of all the people who wouldn’t approve, Amy would NOT have been one of them.” That made me feel a lot better.

Amy always said “If something ever happens to me, you need to find someone to help take care of you because you’re just a helpless man.”

So, after discussion last night, it’s time to officially make the transition to “more than just friends”.

Kathy, thank you for being an amazing part of my life. I look forward to this new chapter and grand adventure.

One problem – my scanner (an old HP Scanjet 6200C) does not have a transparency adapter.

One trip to Ace Hardware later, things are working fine.

Six paint stirrer sticks (free), cut to appropriate lengths, taped to the scanner body over the glass with blue painter’s tape. These serve as guides to keep the slides straight; I can only put three slides on the glass at once.

One 18″ long, 15-watt flourescent light fixture with bulb. Once the slides are on the scanner glass, I position the light shining down through them down into the body of the scanner.

VueScan scanner software, running on my MacBook Core Duo (recently reinstalled with OSX 10.6.1 “Snow Leopard”). This supports the HP (and damn near every other scanner on the planet), and lets me put it into “transparency mode” where the built-in light on the scanner head is turned off. I’ve been using VueScan since 2001 and have never found anything better.

The scans are only ending up being around 800×600 since the maximum resolution of my scanner is 600dpi. However, this is fine for now; I’ll eventually buy a new scanner (whenever I’m able to sell some of Amy’s purse collection) and redo the scans at 1200dpi.

Update: A dedicated $40 slide scanner works great, although I still need to clean up the output a bit.