tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397Thu, 16 Feb 2012 12:03:37 +0000MovingMetricSolidsFamily Leadershipkids birthdayssecond marriageseparation agreementcharityself-caresucessful marriagecelebritythe Expersonal growthcreative step-parentingtattoosBreastfeedingsuccessful marriagebloggingwritingDivorcecareer mommystepmomstepkidsmoneyNietzsche used the phrase 'Amour fati' to describe the concept of 'loving your fate'. Imagine you had to relive your life over and over again, throughout eternity. Do you love the idea or hate it? Whatever situation you find yourself in, you have to think, this is what I need, embrace it, learn from it, don't run from it. Love your fate. This blog chronicles the joys and struggles of being a stepmom with the spirit of Amour fati.http://amourfati.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Stina)Blogger91125AmourFati-LoveYourFatehttp://feedburner.google.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-4545944285503371905Fri, 10 Feb 2012 02:39:00 +00002012-02-09T21:39:30.425-05:00 Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. - Peter Ustinov What is love but infinite acceptance of each other as gloriously flawed human beings? Somehow, my husband looks at me, and doesn't see all of the flaws I can rhyme off faster than you can say your name. Somehow, he still sees the girl he fell in love with. Albeit, he sees much more of me now, ashttp://amourfati.blogspot.com/2012/02/valentines-day-my-musings-on-love.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-32397649542387016Wed, 04 Jan 2012 21:51:00 +00002012-01-04T16:57:15.979-05:00stepmomstepkids I don't want to do any more kids stuff. If I have to spend another night doing: a kids movie/board game /kids books/fart talk/saying "stop running, use your inside voice, not at the table, that's a bathroom word, say please and thank you, put that away, stop fighting, close your mouth when you chew"... I just might die. I don't know if this is something I've consciously recognized beforehttp://amourfati.blogspot.com/2012/01/day-5-lets-not-and-say-we-did.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-7579288321076965471Sat, 31 Dec 2011 19:02:00 +00002011-12-31T14:13:17.246-05:00Divorcesecond marriagesuccessful marriagecelebrity Okay I’ll admit it. I’m also torn up over the Katy and Russell split. I’ve been trying to put my finger on what seems different from this celebrity break-up? They both seemed to transcend the ‘celebrity’ part a bit, with the bohemian wedding in India and the gushing pronouncements of love. It reminded me of falling in love, and all that is sweet about it. There’s no question that at thathttp://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/12/saddest-celebrity-divorce-this-year.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-1586959798581277004Fri, 23 Dec 2011 19:59:00 +00002011-12-23T16:44:48.504-05:00stepmomstepkids Yesterday was Day One of the holidays for us, in that the kids arrived for the duration of the Christmas weekend. Because school went so late this year - seriously who voted to go until Dec 23rd?- it feels like were all a bit shortchanged on time this year. If we give up an hour with the boys, we sure make sure we get that hour back some other time, because every minute is precious. They'd http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/12/just-two-more-bites.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-2012231694838279208Fri, 02 Dec 2011 15:44:00 +00002011-12-02T10:44:23.822-05:00Hey moms! Here's an interview with billionaire Mark Cuban on Advice for Mom-preneurs who are trying to start their own businesses. Mark is an American business magnate and investor. He is the owner of the National Basketball Association's Dallas Mavericks, Landmark Theatres, and Magnolia Pictures, and the chairman of the HDTV cable network HDNet. He is also a part-time "shark" investor on the http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/12/interview-with-mark-cuban.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-6540784596326572820Thu, 03 Nov 2011 22:10:00 +00002011-11-03T18:10:07.211-04:00Family Leadershipstepmomstepkidscelebrity            People are freaking out once again, over Gisele. Besides the fact that she is my body-hero, I love how outspoken and firm she is in her stance on her family, including her stepson Jack. She’s interviewed this month for her British Vogue cover and refers to Jack as “my eldest”. The comments following the stories are out of this world (how dare she call him her son, blah blah). I would http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/11/in-defense-of-stepmom-gisele-in-british.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-5676006076854277415Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:49:00 +00002011-10-27T08:49:43.368-04:00career mommywriting Anna Deskins is the author of The Adventures of Smitty, a children's book. She is also an entrepreneur, mother and fellow mommy blogger. She's just published her first book, The Adventures of Smitty, a bedtime story for your kids about the crazy adventures of a creature named, Smitty. Your children's book, The Adventures of Smitty looks magical. Tell us about it.It's the story of a magical http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/10/interview-with-childrens-book-writer.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-888738496781715474Sun, 07 Aug 2011 18:14:00 +00002011-08-07T14:16:04.190-04:00DivorceFamily Leadershipstepmomsecond marriagepersonal growthstepkids “All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.” T.L. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia) I recently heard this quote again and really identified with it. I've lamented in the past about the http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/08/road-less-travelled.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-7222762610221614189Tue, 12 Jul 2011 13:57:00 +00002011-07-12T09:57:32.699-04:00personal growthwritingSometimes it's hard being a person who lives much of life between my ears. Being "present" is not something that comes completely naturally to me, as I'm often worrying about whatever there could possible be to worry about. Nietszche described his migraines as "cerebral labour pains" - his mind being pregnant with ideas, waiting to be born.  I feel like that a lot lately. I've got about 100 http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/07/cerebral-labour-pains.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-3811871013055335578Wed, 08 Jun 2011 20:37:00 +00002011-06-08T16:42:18.738-04:00stepmomsecond marriagepersonal growthself-careThis is Part 2 of my series on The Book of Secrets  by Deepak Chopra, my attempt to share some of the insights I've gained about stepmothering and trying to do well in a stepfamily, from this book over the years. You can start with Part 1 here if you missed it. There's a section in The Book of Secrets called ‘Meeting the Silent Witness – How to Seek Within’. The idea is that you connect with http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/06/this-is-part-2-of-my-series-on-book-of.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-4280484751204160333Mon, 06 Jun 2011 20:33:00 +00002011-06-08T16:42:43.890-04:00stepmomsecond marriagepersonal growthself-careOne of my favorite books is The Book of Secrets by Deepak Chopra. It became my personal 'bible' when I was going through my divorce, and later my remarriage, several years ago. As I have evolved and grown, so have my interpretations of it's wise contents. There are so many important concepts presented there, that it's literally taken me years to fully absorb everything I have needed to at any http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/06/letting-go-of-me-part-1.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-3754743632307238407Wed, 11 May 2011 18:28:00 +00002011-05-13T16:45:00.634-04:00Divorcestepkids. siblingsIn the wake of the news of the Schwarzenegger - Shriver split, which seems to be upsetting people only because they are splitting after almost 3 decades of marriage - there's been some interesting discussion about how siblings help each other cope during divorce. The first article I read is Do Siblings Help Each Other When Parents Divorce? There's no question that in my own stepfamily, my two http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/05/my-brothers-saved-me.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-8432858552420266854Wed, 30 Mar 2011 14:46:00 +00002011-03-30T10:47:36.993-04:00sucessful marriagesecond marriageAs a second marriage veteran, I’ve looked back at some of the reasons I married for the the first time. What were my expectations? What did I think marriage was all about? Did I really know the person I was marrying? Did I really know who I was? Did my expectations about my relationship doom the marriage from the start? The one thing I know for sure in hindsight is the value of true partnership http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/03/royal-ruckus.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-1737018027858089895Thu, 17 Mar 2011 19:34:00 +00002011-03-30T10:44:02.176-04:00the Exstepmomsecond marriagestepkids <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/03/normal-0-false-false-false.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-7930852429220698629Thu, 24 Feb 2011 20:42:00 +00002011-04-27T15:08:01.171-04:00stepmomcelebrityHave you seen this yet?  Bridget Moynahan in a recent interview:  "And, she adds, that the blended family is going well. "My son has two loving parents and an extended family, whether it's cousins or stepmothers or boyfriends. My son is surrounded by love."  I know every family is different. But I'd be damned if I were lumped into the same category as a cousin. Stepmom's are parents, http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/02/are-stepmoms-just-extended-family.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-972347397207056864Tue, 15 Feb 2011 20:01:00 +00002011-02-15T15:01:07.872-05:00Divorcestepmomsecond marriagepersonal growthstepkidsI remember the early days with my husband – although I'm still deeply in love with him, I am now a veteran stepmom and wise second wife. Falling in love is the greatest thing in the world, and probably a necessity for the birth of second families. Because – let's hear it all together – no one in their right mind would sign up for this would they? A girlfriend of mine recently sent me this http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/02/why-do-we-do-it.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-7759121872878126192Mon, 14 Feb 2011 18:33:00 +00002011-04-27T15:09:06.278-04:00stepmomstepkidsI'm a foodie. I was blessed with parents who loved to cook and entertain, and who took us kids out to dinner at nice restaurants from a young age. I have a good palette. I feel sorry for picky eaters and those who don't like different textures or have weird hang-ups about food. But I count several people like that in my circle of friends, because the social aspect of entertaining outweighed that http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/02/dinnertime-despair.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-7578704179308830514Wed, 26 Jan 2011 16:39:00 +00002011-01-26T11:39:07.111-05:00Divorcestepmomself-carestepkids Self-care is a concept that should probably get a lot more air-time than it does with women in general, and especially for step-mom's. Not only are we balancing the pressures of managing work, marriage (often not a first), trying to stay healthy, managing family finances, making long terms life plans – we get thrown for a loop when we have to do all of that in tandem with raising someone else's http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/01/self-care-for-stepmoms.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-640109803018218688Thu, 20 Jan 2011 02:52:00 +00002011-04-27T15:08:01.173-04:00stepmomstepkidsRight now we are in Wednesday night madness. My youngest hasn't seen his brothers much in the past two weeks. Whenever these unfortunate parts of the calendar arise, we always inevitably make allowances so they can all spend more time together. It's emotionally overwhelming, in different ways, for all of us. The kids are excited to see each other and play, settling back into the pace of life at http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2011/01/bittersweet-wednesday-nights.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-6122118070714800641Thu, 30 Dec 2010 03:13:00 +00002010-12-29T22:13:58.788-05:00stepmomstepkids My heart grew this Christmas season. Two awesome breakthroughs. The first is my eldest SS, who is 8, made a card for his dad and I. Inside it read, "To Daddy and S, The best Daddy and Stepmom in the whole world. Love, SS. " He was beaming when he gave it to us. The really neat part for me was that he made the card on his own, when we were out at dinner one night, and they were with a http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2010/12/breakthrough-with-boys.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-4753761404152294519Wed, 08 Dec 2010 01:57:00 +00002011-04-27T15:11:36.295-04:00moneysecond marriagestepkids I think the hardest part of a second marriage is dealing with money issues when there are ex's and first family kids involved. My husband and I went ALL in (a second marriage for both of us) and combined all of our money, savings, debt – everything, as if we were in a first marriage. We did so consciously; knowing it would be difficult, but also knowing there would be so many walls to break http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2010/12/money-and-second-marriage.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-4951579213047118381Mon, 06 Dec 2010 21:40:00 +00002011-04-27T15:10:56.432-04:00creative step-parentingstepmomstepkids I love the holiday season. It was always a wonderful, big family gathering time of year for me growing up. Despite whatever family drama lurked under the surface, for some reason, I only really remember the nice stuff about it. Which is what I hope our kids always remember. Living with step-kids, there's always a part of my wanting to make things perfect for them. They do have a sweet deal http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2010/12/welcoming-holiday-season-with-stepkids.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-5967248701847825991Thu, 14 Oct 2010 20:47:00 +00002010-10-14T16:50:46.444-04:00  “I don’t believe in ‘okay,’ ‘decent,’ or ‘solid’ marriages. I’m against them. I believe only in great marriages, and that you should expect and reach for no less.”– M. Gary Neuman (licensed psychotherapist, rabbi and author)The phenomenon of the "starter marriage" was strange to me, a catch phrase that seemed to gain prominence as I entered my first marriage. I never thought that a failed http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2010/10/thoughts-on-my-second-marriage.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-4000954882942633294Thu, 14 Oct 2010 20:03:00 +00002010-10-14T16:17:27.617-04:00career mommysecond marriagepersonal growthbloggingWhen I became a stepmom, I also became a blogger. I was the only 29 year old divorcee I knew, then the only pregnant and unwed mom, then the only second wife and definitely the only stepmom. I truly couldn't understand how with such a high divorce rate, I was the only one I knew. And I thought I knew a lot of people. When Malcom Gladwell described 'Connectors' in The Tipping Point, I heard the http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2010/10/my-real-friends.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4784713509376077397.post-8791512279396727203Thu, 09 Sep 2010 13:48:00 +00002011-04-27T15:12:26.987-04:00sucessful marriagestepmomMovingstepkids It's Back to School time (the Most Wonderful Time of the Year for sure) and with it, comes the business of living with kids who live in mutiple households.Check out my new post on the Parent 2 Parent site hosted by Invest in Kids on this topic.http://parents2parents.ca/node/897Cheers!http://amourfati.blogspot.com/2010/09/back-to-school-and-back-to-mayhem.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Stina)0