Adventures in Babywearing

Skelly’s gone

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Wed, 15 Nov 2017 06:51:00 +0000

Jeff mentioned that he hadn’t seen Skelly the last few times he’s driven past the curve down the street but sometimes you could miss him in the trees, surely he was still there. But today I stopped for a parade of turkeys to cross and I looked and he’s not there. Maybe they took him down with the Halloween decorations. Such interesting timing, though, now that I’ve made some “living” friends here... did he feel like his job was done? I wish I could have said a proper goodbye.

It was opening day for the Cougar Cave and seemed to be a huge hit. I’m worried I didn’t order enough mesh stress balls and mini Rubik’s cubes. We sold mostly those, and lots and lots of slime.

I dropped Carter & Gray off for haircuts while I ran into the grocery store for a few things, and it felt like the closest experience I’ve given them to the Stranger Things kids kind of freedom. Not even close, but it felt so free range of me.

What if we let people tell us who they are by listening to their stories?

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Tue, 14 Nov 2017 05:09:00 +0000

What if we let people tell us who they are by listening to their stories?

No assumptions, not by what they look like, not what we think their story might be... let me offer a simple suggestion: think before you speak. I'm probably not talking to you but these days I could be wrong because today we were at the children's hospital for an infusion and two nurses yes TWO DIFFERENT NURSES have feet in their mouths right now and this mama is PO'ed.

My kid gets this stuff all the time in regular life. It would be oh so nice if when we make the dreaded trip every 8 weeks to the oncology center that we don't have to deal with this sh*t there. Can't we have one safe space outside of our home?

First of all, I try to be positive and shine my light as far as the eye can see, but I have got to be honest. I am so over hospitals. It's the only life Noah has known, in and out of hospitals and ya know, the heart does not stop breaking after a while. There is always a new spot to be freshly broke. And many times it feels like the first. I'm so over it.

I'm tired, I'm unpleasant, and I am done faking like we are doing just fine when clearly we are not. What a hard profession it must be, to be at the service of people who wish they weren't there at all. But I am not sorry.

I'm frustrated that there aren't accommodations for the in-betweeners like him. The chatty, cheery nurses mean well but they need to read the room once in a while. We don't want to be there. And it's no offense to you. We legit just don't want this to be our life right now.

So the small talk gets you in trouble, then we feel like we have to make you feel better because you feel awful now for asking if he was in FIFTH GRADE? He's a junior in high school. Surely nurses are aware of invisible disabilities like Crohn's and growth delay, etc etc. Out of some form of privacy I won't get into what the other nurse assumed. I still feel like crying. And we're paying lots and lots of money for this. What a sucky deal.

So what if, instead of assuming, instead of judging by looks, size, shape, clothes, how much makeup... we allow the human to reveal their story in a way that is most comfortable to them? We come up with ways to hold a conversation that have nothing to do with age, grades, size, gender, looks? Things with value and substance? Or maybe we just say nothing at all? Quiet is always good. It's way better than making me and my kid feel like crap the rest of the day on top of being stuck in a childish infusion room for hours until we can finally go home.

I don't have any good solutions tonight. We are being very impatient patients. We have no choice. This is our reality and apparently it was high time for a good old fashioned pity party. I want us to not be in this situation in the first place. I want a different story for my kid, one where he can be typical in the ways he wishes he was typical. Of course he's awesome and amazing and special (see also: how does my heart continue to function while shattered?) and because of that he deserves so much more, so much better than this.

I've got to do something to make this better but I'm so tired, it always feels like starting all over again, looking like the difficult parent, expecting more than people are able to do, every time. And I'm just so tired. But I'll never stop. Because it never ends.

No Probllama

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Mon, 13 Nov 2017 06:06:00 +0000

I spent this afternoon shopping with Molly and we bought wrapping paper and odds and ends and when we walked into World Market the first thing I saw was a llama pillow I just had to have. It would match my living room for the holidays oh and also it says "No Probllama."

But it was $29.99 and not on sale and I just can't spend that much on a pillow with words. So we went about our shopping and learned that special golden llamas had been hidden in the store and we if found one we would win a gift card. Well then. I think we must have searched that store for a good hour. We gave up like three times. But we couldn't bring ourselves to check out yet and finally there was a gold llama waiting for me, hidden on the floor. It was worth $50! Yes I bought the pillow.

OBOB

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Sun, 12 Nov 2017 04:32:00 +0000

I'm coaching Ivy's OBOB team (Oregon Battle of the Books) and heard that a 5th grade team always wins. Well, third grade is coming for you, fifth graders!

Ivy and I plan to read all 16 books together. Tonight she read Wild Wings aloud while I knitted all snuggled beside her. It felt like a Little Women moment, if only there had been a fire in the fireplace.

This morning at the Voz Hispana session the students announced that they are preparing a pot luck for the volunteers at next week's class as a thank you and early Thanksgiving celebration. Pupusas have been promised, and enchiladas and mole, and probably a bunch of other delicious things I've never tried or heard of. I am extremely excited for next Saturday I can not even contain it!!!

Obsessed

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Fri, 10 Nov 2017 20:02:00 +0000

I missed a day. Oops. It happens.

I didn't leave the middle school until almost 9pm last night, just me and the janitors. Our grand opening of the student store is Tuesday during lunch and I can't get back in there until Tuesday morning. I want it to look perfect! As my muscle memory kicked in from my "denim wall" and t-shirt folding days of retail, I made sure every spirit wear sweatshirt and tee was showing the logo just right on the shelf, and that they were in size order of course.

I would snap out of my obsession briefly with flashes of remembering that the kids aren't going to notice my perfect folds, they don't care about that kind of stuff. But then I was sucked back in, making everything just so. Yes I want it to be fun for them but also I want them to feel special about this cool space, that we care enough about them to make it look like a real store. For them. I don't need anyone to notice but myself, and I'm taking quite a bit of pride in it.

Today the kids are off school and I didn't get out of bed until okay so maybe I'm still kind of in bed. It's the first day in a very long while that we haven't been go go go since morning. It's nice. Tonight I'm unashamed about my excitement for a mom's night out to see Bad Moms Christmas and then drinks and cheap apps after the show. Um, yes. I am all about this cliché. And so deserving.

Ham and turkey

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Thu, 09 Nov 2017 07:06:00 +0000

Out of nowhere I was jolted with the memory that I forgot to circle back to the deli counter and pick up my ham and turkey breast the other day. I had requested a half-pound of each and since they were a little busy I offered to pick it up after I did my shopping. And I never went back. Were they able to resell it? Will I ever be able to show my face at the deli counter again?

Please tell me this probably happens all the time.

Tiny Fracture

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Wed, 08 Nov 2017 07:11:00 +0000

I was looking at some past posts on my blog and realized I am so glad I wrote those words down, and took those pictures, and why did I ever stop? I need to find my camera.

Ivy's toe has a teeny tiny fracture, but there's nothing to do about it other than baby it until it feels better. She has my high pain tolerance so she'll be just fine. She did get a dr's note to take it easy in gym which would have been the golden ticket for me when I was her age, but to her it's a big bummer because she actually likes gym class.

I needed some new makeup and stopped in Ulta tonight and I kind of love being the busy lady who just wants someone to tell her what to buy, especially when I know the beauty sales associates want to push whatever they're being pressured to sell. And it's always the good stuff anyway. I'm in.

Tonight just being silly I signed "Love, Mommy" in an email to Carter and omg I miss being called Mommy. I don't remember when Ivy stopped saying it, and she's the last... All those years we didn't want to be called Mommybloggers.... um... you can call me that anytime now.

Big Toe

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 06:28:00 +0000

"Look I made a heart with my hospital bracelet, mom." Of course she did.

I took Ivy to get her big toe an x-ray today. She stubbed it coming down the stairs (too fast, as always, she has been warned before!) and I thought it was just your run of the mill toe stub until hours later when I looked at it again. Yikes.

Being a good mother I had an internal anxiety party until it was decided I should call the pediatrician as soon as they opened this morning. To be safe they suggested an x-ray and tomorrow we'll see the doctor for the results. What can you do for a broken toe anyway? But still, I don't want to do anything to dash her dreams of playing professional soccer someday. Couldn't take the risk. SO, this is what we do for a big toe.

Before all that, I had a pretty great plan for my day. Nothing got done in the end. I'm going to try again tomorrow.

Cue "It's So Dark Outside Now!"

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Mon, 06 Nov 2017 07:09:00 +0000

Apparently one hour can pack quite a punch. It's dark when it's only dinnertime and I feel like winter suddenly came in with a thud. I'll adjust, but I can totally see why people start listening to holiday music in secret right about now -- it is how we cope with the darkness. Please people put up your colored lights now so I have something to look at in the pitch black as I drive by.

Ivy and I went to two plays this week and after the one today she asked when the next one is. She is the best seat mate and such a pro. She went down to the pit on her own to chat with the conductor during intermission.

I had a validating revelation while watching today's performance - these actors and singers were really good, and I didn't feel my usual regret for not auditioning. I felt like, you know, they have this covered. I'm not needed here. In a good way, like if you think of it how we're all in this together, we're all one, that grateful warmth that washes over you when you just get it.

Help I've Volunteered And I Can't Get Up

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Sun, 05 Nov 2017 06:30:00 +0000

It started out small. Earlier this year the elementary school PTA needed someone who knew Wordpress to help with their site. I can do that. The Listen To Your Mother National Project was coming to an end and all my work on there was through Wordpress. Also when you've blogged for eighty years you come to know your way around a website dashboard anyway. I am not going to lie, I thought this was a cheater way to "volunteer" without having to leave my house.

Through Facebook I heard about a local group who created a social change conference for women and their allies -- how could I not be involved? I'll work a table, sure I'll be in charge of your social media.

School began this fall and I found myself helping in the library on Mondays and being the first to sign up for field trips and suddenly I'm going to PTA meetings on weeknights? Working the book fair every single day. I'm in charge of ordering the school t-shirts and taking over the middle school student store and YES of course I'll coach Battle of the Books! Who am I? I left the house!

I left the house. And I liked it. I love it?

Funny how I felt like I wasn't fitting in here, not finding my people but it was okay because I found out more about myself in the process, but also, admittedly it's a little hard to meet people when you never put yourself in situations... with other people. And through meeting people I heard about things, got invited to things, and could invite them to my things. And that's how I ended up doing something I love so much -- today I taught my first U.S. citizenship class for Voz Hispana, a local volunteer-run group that teaches the 100 citizenship test questions to immigrants in English and Spanish. Now, I don't know any Spanish, and am embarrassed about how much I am learning about our country's civics in the process, but I can help them with answers in English, and with pronunciation. And I can show up for two hours every Saturday. How could I not?

I see my time so differently now -- every moment I'm awake and alive, is it being put to good use? Ok, not every moment but the good energy moments. And again, because I know this might not last, I want to make the most of it. Because I know what it's like when this feeling is gone the value feels even greater when it's here right now. And gosh I hope it lasts.

Today I took a turn running the class along with an interpreter and I am still buzzing from the good vibes. I always leave those classes feeling lighter and happier. It's awesome serving and taking action in a way that is so full of hope. I love helping at my kids' schools but that's kind of for them. This is for me.

TL;DR So I've volunteered to the max, my day planner is puh-lannned out sometimes every single hour of the day and night. But as of right now, it's working, the timing is right, and so I'm going to show up.

Waiting for the boop.

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Sat, 04 Nov 2017 04:40:00 +0000

The cashier at Safeway couldn't get one of the items to scan and he goes "I'm waiting for the boop."

It was the best thing I've heard someone say in a long time.

Today I got a lot more work done in the Cougar Cave- I have a huge order to place to stock up with fun thing for the kids to buy and redeem their reward passes. It's kind of fun shopping for all this stuff. I'm also excited about how much progress we've made in getting the store fixed up. I love that I see Gray in the halls almost every time I'm there, and that he is still happy to say hi to me. I realized that if we stay here (please oh please let us never move again) then I have six years in this middle school - as soon as Gray leaves, Ivy will be starting there. This is a worthwhile investment.

The elementary school harvest carnival was tonight and so yeah I realize that it sounds like I am always at my kids' schools. But I've discovered that it is where I want to be. I've crawled out of the dark fog that kept me house-bound for a really long time (it was probably much needed recovery time, in reality) and now I have energy and the ability to be productive and helpful. It's a good thing and because I know that there is no guarantee on how long this will last, I'm going to do it all while I can.

Today on my way

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Fri, 03 Nov 2017 05:54:00 +0000

Do you ever feel kind of sad throwing away your old contact lenses? I kind of hate to toss them... they were good to me, lasting wayyyyyy longer than the recommended wear.

Today on my way to work my middle school office shift I watched a man out on a walk with his dog and how he stood patiently on the sidewalk while his pooch sniffed a tree for the longest time. Like, this dog was sniffing for a while and all over this tree. And the man just stood there, not hurrying, not looking at his phone, just lovingly hanging out until the investigation was complete and the pup decided to move along. It was really touching.

Later I passed the sign in front of the boutique cannabis dispensary (that's what they like to be called, this one is named The Agrestic for any Weeds fans...) and the sign said: "I wonder what my dog named me."

Blog Is Not Dead.

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Thu, 02 Nov 2017 05:29:00 +0000

Knitting in the car line (sing it to the tune of Smoking in the Boys Room) (sorry)

Let there be life! Blogging is making a comeback, at least here, daily in November. It might just be what I did that day, but it's writing and I have got to let it breathe again.

I'm knitting and blogging again-- it's like it's all 2007 up in here!

So, I'll just start with today. Ivy's class had a field trip to see a musical preview at the high school. Immediately after that I went to work on setting up the student store at the middle school (Cougar Cave grand opening soon!) and was able to stop and see what Gray was up to during lunch at Zoology Club (imagine a room full of aquariums of reptiles and rodents... and middle schoolers eating their lunch. ANYWAY they are having fun.) PS I had to come back and add that Gray told me on the way home from school that "it's just mice, mom, I didn't think I needed to wash my hands and oh the leopard gecko kept licking my lunch bag!" So.

After that I zipped back to the elementary school to see if the laminator was back up and running and IT WAS (I jammed it yesterday and then someone else jammed it today, so I didn't feel as bad) and I got my little project finished finally.

I did a lot of other stuff in the middle there, like a PTA thing and a Costco trip and picking up/dropping off/picking up the people aka my kids. And just now I finished creating the school t-shirt order form and completed a giant essay about five different types of government I mean Gray did, totally, and I feel like I've basically gone back to middle school every night, using my brain.

Let's do this, November!

Time makes you bolder

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Wed, 05 Jul 2017 16:41:00 +0000

Even children get older...

Summer is here. I have a stack of books to read, guests to entertain, children to feed. A forest view to enjoy, a mind free of thoughts of moving and packing and unpacking -- and instead of new beginnings this year it's just beginnings, middles, ends, in whatever order I choose.

I know where I am and who I am. Those two things haven't been in sync in a very long time.

Driving home from camp drop-off today I was thinking about how I still don't really know anyone here still, not in a deep sense, and yet I feel like I know myself better than I ever have. As a people-person, or as someone who has always been so shaped by the people around me, it's been beautiful and wonderful, adventurous to discover an identity that is not based on who I know. Spoiler alert, the surprise twist ending is that it makes your heart and mind open even wider.

my babies, 5 years ago

I had the kids recreate this photo from five years ago, three of the four were willing participants. I not so secretly hope they plan to continue this tradition every five years until the end of time.

Fluffy Unicorn

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Wed, 01 Feb 2017 20:12:00 +0000

I've been doing pretty great on my promise to knit something every day. I finished some socks that I love, basically combining a bunch of mini skeins I had and to me they totally match. Instead of eating my feelings I'm switching gears to binging on beautiful yarn. I started a cardigan for Ivy with the sparkly rainbow yarn named Fluffy Unicorn. It helps.

Today Noah and I are at his first infusion in Portland. They don't have the rapid infusion process in place like Seattle (but they said they're working on it) however they also don't only allow diet sodas in the entire hospital so I am drinking a regular Coca-Cola right now. It's the little things.

Today I turn 40.

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Mon, 09 Jan 2017 00:05:00 +0000

Turning 40 years old feels like... nothing I was expecting, mainly because it doesn't feel like anything. My bones don't creak, I feel no different than any other day, or year from the past twenty or so years, really. Isn't it one of those milestones where it's supposed to feel like a big deal? I think I'm just the kind of person who doesn't feel the big deals. The little deals... now that's another story.

Because I've been blogging forever, I can look back to the post from when I turned 30:

Apparently I didn't have a lot to say. Those pictures, though.

I do remember turning 30, I remember that night because we went out to Buffalo Wild Wings in Valpo with the kids and had a fun family meal, and Jeff gave me a ring.

Probably the most stuff and adventures of my life so far happened in the last ten years, for sure. The biggest lesson being to expect only the unexpected. That's what my thirties and motherhood has taught me. And that journey brought me here, to realize living in this moment right now, these breaths are the only guarantee, and unexpectedly that is how to really feel alive.

Marking my 40th, we were snowbound in Oregon at home and thankfully Jeff thought to get a cake and take me out for a really nice dinner the night before the storm hit, and I ordered a Sage Sapphire Collins and then a lemon drop, and after dinner we went shopping at Target to stock up for the storm. We bought puzzles and a retro Sorry game, and a bunch of other random things. He gave me an Apple Watch aka Inspector Gadget Spy watch that I weirdly like a whole lot, and we came home and watched Wheel of Fortune with Ivy and Gray snuggled in our bed.

We spent all day yesterday in our snow globe as the biggest flakes and flurries fell around us. We put together a puzzle, watched movies while I knit, went sledding, and I made a big pot of minestrone for dinner.

This morning I opened more gifts and then we put away the Christmas decorations. Tonight I'm excited the Golden Globes decided to show up for my bday. We are about to dig into the cake.

It's a new year, new decade for moi, and all I can envision is a lot of beautiful open space with plenty of room to roam.

On The Eve

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Sun, 01 Jan 2017 00:48:00 +0000

It's New Year's Eve and we are anxious to close out a very full 2016, heavy from the weight of so many downs and ups and downs. I'm certain that 2017 will carry much of the same -- thankfully we won't have to struggle through selling a house and the not knowing when we will be together under the same roof again.

Yesterday I was a chaperone for Carter's Robotics competition in Portland. On the way home, as four teenage boys slept and I drove in dark silence, I experienced for the first time what it's like to drive a kid to Portland, or anywhere out of town really, and not involve a hospital visit. It felt really wonderful. And kind of like a promise, like more of this feeling is still to come.

So there will always be a weight but the weight is lifting and shifting.

I have a few goals for the new year in mind, like taking photos of the kids, reading more, and knitting every day, and learning to play the piano again. I'm no longer a fan of words of the year but kind of like the idea of the phrase Search Party. I'm going to keep searching, opening my eyes, and I need to make it more of a bright party with lights and less of a dark appointment.

I always start with hope and end with hope, may that never end.

Snowbound and a Gift Guide

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Sat, 17 Dec 2016 19:17:00 +0000

We are going on hour 72 of not being able to leave our house due to snow and ice. Jeff was able to get his car back into the garage yesterday but mine has been down at the bottom of our road since Wednesday. It might actually get above 32 degrees later this afternoon and maybe the snow will finally start to melt away, but no guarantees.

Thankfully I keep our pantry and freezer STOCKED. We are eating like queens and kings but might run out of milk by tomorrow. Breakfasts have been chocolate chip waffles and hashbrowns and today I made some pretty good biscuits and gravy. If there's enough milk tomorrow morning I'm going to bake coffee cake. The other day it was looking bleak and like we might never get out of here so I did place a giant Prime Pantry order. Here's hoping UPS can make their rounds safely today... we have quite a pile of delayed deliveries to receive!

As far as keeping busy, we have enough books to read to last all of winter break and we've been watching every holiday movie while I knit socks and I can make plenty thanks to my yarn buying obsession. All in all it's not a bad gig.

There's been a little bit of boredom, though, for sure. In my head I was compiling a realistic gift guide, if you have some hard to buy for people left on your list, you can find these in stores or get them in time if you have Amazon Prime. So here you go:

Buxom Freezes Over 15 mini lip collection (on sale for $45 at Sephora)

I bought this for myself before the holiday season and it's been like a gift every day. They are delightful and happy-making. I think you can get these at your local Ulta or Sephora if you don't have time for online.

Crane Travel Ultrasonic Cool Mist Humidifier ($20 at Target)

Here's something super practical but also a life changer. We are adjusting to a drier climate now that we are no longer living on the ocean. Bloody noses and stuffy noses and coughs all night long no more! I found these at Target in the pharmacy section but they're also on Amazon and probably anywhere that sells humidifiers. You just fill up the cup and mist away! I carry mine around the house with me and then have it on my nightstand when I go to bed. The boys have one in their room and it has helped tremendously.

Mystic Emoji Ball, $14.99 on Amazon

What to get the kid who has everything and didn't put anything on his Christmas list other than candy and you need more things for him to open so that everyone has an equal amount? This looks fun. I hope he likes it.

Hammond's dark Chocolate Peppermint Crunch, $6.95 at your local fancy grocery store

These dark chocolate peppermints look like chocolate covered almonds but instead of almonds it's peppermint candy and so so so so so good. As soon as we can drive our cars again I am going straight to the grocery store and buying all they have. BIG mistake only buying one bag, Steph! Perfect stocking stuffer or gift for anyone sweet on your list.

Ugg Ansley slippers, $100 with free super fast shipping at Zappos

These have been on my feet since receiving them for Christmas last year. Unless Ivy is wearing them, which happens a lot and so she might have a certain pair in leopard print coming her way this Christmas morn... I found hers on a super sale at Ugg on Cyber Monday, many high end local department stores carry these, and also Zappos has free next day shipping if you are in a hurry. They are worth every penny.

Okay that's all for today. Must get back to my knitting. There's a few more items I would like to add but I don't want to ruin any surprises that are currently under our tree. One week 'til Christmas!

December days

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Sun, 11 Dec 2016 18:01:00 +0000

We have a large spider that has been hanging out on her web for months now in the corner of the garage. I check on her every time I go in and out, partly because I want to see that she's doing okay and also if she wasn't there then WHERE IS SHE. This morning I searched "what do spiders do for fun?" and then it suggested we stop trying to assign people feelings to animals. Also, they don't move unless they have to respond to something, to conserve as much energy as possible. Sounds good to me.

December got off to a pretty good start. We went to Seattle and Noah is officially in remission. It took us over two years to get to this point, so we are relieved yet a bit too tired to celebrate. It was a bit anticlimactic to hear it from his doctor, to be honest, but maybe the haze will clear and we'll feel the excitement eventually. He must still continue with infusions and medication as normal, but at least we are out of the danger zone, he's not in pain, and he's starting to grow again.

Snow on the trees, view from school pick up.

We had a snow day last week! For the first time since we left Ohio almost four years ago we saw snow fall. It only snowed a little bit, but school was cancelled for one day- mainly because of ice. We live on a mountain annnnd the mail carrier couldn't even get up our road.

This is the kids' last week of school until after New Year's. I am so ready. We have almost all of our gifts wrapped and under the tree or on their way to family. We have a full week of Cats rehearsals, a school concert, and robotics ahead. Then, we will conserve our energy under blankets with sugar cookies and holiday movies and no other plans.

The last day of November

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Thu, 01 Dec 2016 04:09:00 +0000

This is our kitchen nook, the little happy place I see when I stand at my stove.

I have been operating with a great sense of urgency about buying all the Christmas gifts on my list and then I realized it wasn't even December yet. We have several wrapped and under the tree already, and I feel confident that I'll be done pretty soon, and that feels like a relief even though I don't know why. I don't usually feel the need to get it all done so soon, I don't mind waiting until life around us is in more of a Christmas-sy mood, but this year has me like this.

I only have a couple things on my Christmas wish list and I guess it makes me that person: I want for my friend's daughter to not have cancer, I would like a different president-elect, and I wish for my family to be in good health. And world peace. Not to be picky but I would love for our country to be at peace, full of kindness and understanding and love.

Along with most of my friends, I am so very ready for 2016 to be over. A new start, new decade for me never sounded so good. I am thankful that we are closing out this year with my family in the same house, that's very nice. The togetherness here is a good thing, I feel like when we're not running around we can actually put our feet up and take our minds off things.

This Friday Noah and I head up to Seattle for a check-up and infusion and we have hopes that we can get something in place to move his infusions closer to our house. It would be pretty amazing to only have to drive to Seattle a couple times a year vs. every 8 weeks.

It's funny because I thought as fall faded away here that it would be less pretty, but that is the opposite. As the leaves fall I can see Christmas lights on the mountain, when I drive down our hill -- or anywhere around town, really, I can see snow-capped peaks. There are new birds and a rain we fall asleep to every night. We are adjusting to the cold temps again, it's been years since we needed coats and gloves! The kids are still trying to get away with just their hoodies but I think they'll be giving in soon.

I know I said I was done with 2016 but I just decided that now is just as good a time as ever to have a fresh start. I welcome you, December 2016. Show up and be awesome.

Put away the pumpkins

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Sat, 26 Nov 2016 06:01:00 +0000

We actually slept in today. It still felt like such a long day, in a good way. We put away the pumpkins and put up Christmas. Ivy hung most of the ornaments, which was nice because by then I was feeling pretty done.

This is the fourth house where we've hung our stockings, but home goes with us wherever we go. I don't really gave a good spot for my Willow Tree Nativity set here (or as Ivy said, "oh, your Jesus stuff!") so I put it up without the creche on the mantel. I plan to add something with lights. I might just have to leave the house tomorrow for that.

Thanksgiving 2016

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Fri, 25 Nov 2016 05:37:00 +0000

It was still dark when I got up and baked the coffee cake for the kids and got the turkey ready. The rain fell all afternoon and we kept warm and cozy inside, just like we'd planned. We worked on a puzzle, FaceTimed with family, and I even got a nap.

Leading up to today I was feeling down but it all turned around in the end. I feel like I did get my Family Stone house after all and this is just the early years. If we're still here I can picture the kids all returning and bringing more people, their people, to our table. Right now I want to keep them close as I can.

Turkeys United

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Thu, 24 Nov 2016 04:14:00 +0000

Hoo mama I got a lot done today. I made the kids a wonderful waffle & bacon breakfast while I enjoyed a Bloody Mary for myself thankyouverymuch. I made three pies, the green bean casserole, lunch and dinner, and have a clean kitchen at the end of it all.

I only lost one Pyrex to an explosion in the sink, which is not bad for this year and thankfully it wasn't in the oven and didn't have food in it. I recalled a time when I was little and washing my Mom's Visions cookware and one of them shattered. I can't remember if I just thought she was going to accuse me of doing it on purpose so I could get out of doing the dishes or if she actually did think that. From what I can remember, it happened totally innocently.

Tomorrow I'm going to make Grandma's coffee cake recipe for breakfast and possibly more Bloody Marys while I get the turkey ready. Everything else is pretty easy. I'm kind of looking forward to the supersized newspaper that will arrive early full of ads -- no plans to leave the house to shop but I'll see if there's anything good. Otherwise it will be eating and knitting and more eating all the day long if we get our way. I try not to bring it up or let my mind linger but we'll never forget the holidays we've spent in the hospital, namely The One Thanksgiving that would change our lives forever so many years ago. It's easy to find out what you're thankful for when you come near losing what matters the most. I miss my family and friends, yes. but I'm so thankful for who I'm with tonight at home, and tomorrow.

P.S. Ivy has an important message, from the Turkeys.

Mehhh

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 05:40:00 +0000

This morning it was hard to get moving. I started listening to the Making Oprah podcast (thanks, Jen!) and that was an unexpected joy. I shopped for a replacement water filter for the fridge ... so exciting I know... the guy at Sears had a bad attitude and was super NOT HELPFUL and rude. He did offer - in an annoyed manner - to order what I needed but I was like - "Nope, I'll go to Home Depot or do Amazon Prime," dude. See ya. Found it at Home Depot, btw.

I helped out in Ivy's class for hours today, melting and stirring caramel for caramel apples. I kind of found some Zen moments in stirring over and over and over (I have a blister to prove it). It was the first time I was able to observe her new class and I was pleasantly surprised at how calm the room was, and how happy and well behaved the kids were. I love her new teacher. I found myself wondering, as I stirred and stared into the caramel swirls, if she could be my friend. Maybe she wants to come over for Thanksgiving and/or move in downstairs... but turns out her family is nearby and she's got plans for the holidays so I didn't bring it up.

After school I was trying to rest and started thinking about when the kids were little and all toddler-y and warm and needy and so I called Ivy into my room and asked her to snuggle with me under the covers until we had to start dinner. To my sad discovery she doesn't remember sleeping with me every night as a newborn until she was three or four years old. She said she doesn't remember anything about being a baby except for being born- she apparently remembers that.

I'm hoping we all get to sleep in a little tomorrow. Eventually I need to start on the pies and green bean casserole that I like to make ahead. Other than that we are going to take cover from the rain and maybe do some more snuggling.

All By Myself

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie Precourt) — Tue, 22 Nov 2016 04:20:00 +0000

I knit a Where's Waldo hat for Ivy's turkey disguise.

It's a good thing I like myself because I'm all I have most of my day. Many mornings after dropping the kids off at school I cherish the quiet and freedom but also there are times I wish I had friends to meet for coffee or a lunch date or a girls night out with easy conversation over margaritas. I don't see that happening anytime soon, unless all my friends move here. Please get on that.

But it's fine for now - I get stuff done, make things, do a lot of listening and observing. And there's always the Internet to connect us.