I was very sad to hear about the passing of one of the truly great pro wrestling  performers, Captain Lou Albano.

When i was younger, I owned a copy of the Coliseum Home Video release “The Life and Times of Captain Louis Albano,” and I watched it so many times, I am really shocked the tape didn’t disintegrate.

For a long time after he made his transition from full-time wrestler to manager in the WWWF, Lou was a hated villain. He was kooky, he was goofy, he was wacky (aren;t those all words meaning the same thing?). But one thing he certainly was was COLORFUL. He walked the line between madman and genius in his television interviews, and gave his wrestlers instant credibility (and hatred) just but their association with him.

In fact, it’s somewhat safe to say that in those days, Lou was in the top three heels in the company. “Huh?” you ask, “a manager was one of the top heels?” Absolutely. The hated Albano would bring in wrestler after wrestler to attack and attempt to dethrone the perennial babyface WWWF champion Bruno Sammartino (and succeeded with Ivan Koloff), and later with Pedro Morales and Bob Backlund.

He was so establised and known, that by the time wrestling made it’s huge mainstream/crossover effort in the mid-1980’s, Albano was at the helm, seeing the error of his ways and the “Guiding Light” in fact embraced the light. He also helped spearhead the “Rock ‘n Wrestling Connection,” which garnered a type of coverage not usually afforded that seedy pro wrestling stuff.

He also dedicated his time to a number of charities. For a time, he acted as co-chair (with Cyndi Lauper) of the Multiple Sclerosis Foundation, raising millions of dollars for the cause. Of course, he also had action figures, appeared in the WWF cartoon, and went on to do movies and the Super Mario Brothers Super SHow (where he played Mario in the  live-action segments).

Those who know me also know I love a lot of the work the WWE production department has done with some of the special videos that air on television and pay-per-view. I honestly think they’ve slipped in quality in recent years, but that’s just me. This past week, however, I feel they regained their award-winning reputation. What was the subject of the video? A tribute to the life and times of Lou Albano. I honestly think it was a great piece, and I’ve included the video below for you to enjoy as well.

R.I.P. Capper! Thanks for the memories.

Of course, the number one rule of wrestling is “always bring your gear”. I can honestly say that actually wrestling has been the furthest thing from my mind for the last couple years. As a result, and in addition to the effects of some illness and medications I was required to take, let’s just say I was far from in “ring shape” let alone any kind of shape.

But, as things always always seem to go, I ended up wrestling my old nemesis Disco Fury in the opener. I won’t lie and say that it was a mat classic, but it was great to be in a ring again, even if it was for the last time. Disco and I have literally had hundreds of matches over the years, and I don’t think I would have done the match if it had been with anyone else.

Everything to do with the weekend went fine. I stayed safe, and even though I hadn’t been in the ring for a year-and-a-half, I came out unscathed. Of course, that would very quickly change.

I climbed in a van with longtime referee Mr. Thug and wrestler/ BCW promoter Dirty Money for the three hour ride home to Victoria. We got no more than 15 minutes out of town before we were stopped dead in our tracks. Both literally and figuratively.

The culprit of the tracks-stopping was a 600 lb. elk. We have no idea where it came from. The road was clear, and then all of a sudden, there it was. There was just enough time for Thug to yell out a very naughty, one syllable word. I cannot really describe the impact. It was, however, ROUGH. We hit the elk, and it flew up into the windshield right in front of my face, actually striking me before continuing to flip right over the top of the van (I think). If you look at the pictures, you’ll see what I mean.

Right after the massive impact, it felt like jumping off the high diving board at the pool and landing in the water face-first as all the glass showered my face. My right leg was also torn up from the knee to the ankle as I was wearing shorts. I got a mouthful of glass, and a few days later I am STILL finding glass in my ears, up my nose, in my scalp, hands, everywhere. The next day it was still in my shoes and socks.

Everyone got rattled severely from the impact. I’m still stiff and sore and walk like the Iron Sheik. My head is healing way fast, and my leg looks nothig like it did even yesterday. We were very lucky that a first aid attendant was driving past, and he was able to check on us and make sure the RCMP and an ambulance were on the way. Initially, I was told that I’d need to go to the hospital, but after getting cleaned up a bit, they realized none of my cuts needed stitches. I did have hundreds of cuts, mind you, but they were all caused by smaller pieces of flying glass, and not major shards or anything.

We were also kindly told of all the recent deaths that have occurred on the highway under similar circumstances. Thug did a great job of handling the wheel, even given the short reaction time he had. Most people try to swerve and not only hit the animal, but roll their vehicle as well. Long story short, the police were expecting us to be dead, and at first didn’t realize that who they thought was a witness or bystander they were talking to was actually Dirty Money, who had been IN the van!

So we are all very lucky. And I can joke that I took an elk’s butt to the face and lived to talk about. Even perhaps comment on any recent meals he had eaten. When you look at what was left of the van, you can see how very close I came to being killed. It’s a very humbling (second Sheiky reference!) and sobering (obviously not a Sheik reference) experience.

Thanks to everyone who has expressed their concern and sent well-wishes. This is definitely something I will never forget, and all of them were very much appreciated.

And now, a few pictures…

What is it? Well, in the tradition of great characters/gimmicks like the Yukon Lumberjacks, Jos Leduc, The Moondogs, Grizzly Adams, Hillbilly Jim, Grizzly Redwood, Flapjack Norton, and Lumberjack Bubba comes…

KLONDIKE BART!

That’s right, the lumberjack/gold miner with his axe, flannel shirt and woolly cap. He even comes with a great catchphrase…

“What would YOU do for a Klondike Bart?”

I can hear the sound of cash registers ringing up record profits right now.

You guys rule!

I don’t even know who most of “you guys” are, but this website has been getting some pretty decent traffic of late. Decent enough that I can easily justify regular postings.

So I guess this is a bit of a vanity moment. People like me. That is nice.  My concern when I chose to be less-active in the ring was that people would stop visiting. Either people were hooked by the wrestling and stuck around for the goofy personality, or people just found the goofy me and bookmarked the site. It makes me happy either way. Happy enough to be my silly self, then post it for your entertainment.

Stay tuned.

Friday September 25th - Victoria, BC

PWA will be in Victoria at the Native Friendship Centre for a FREE show. I will be either refereeing or announcing on this show, so come and say hi, and I’ll prank you by telling the crowd it is your birthday and get them all to sing Happy Birthday to you. Doors open at 6:00pm. Signed for the show: Lak Siddartha battles Mad Dog Sugar and the winner of Disco Fury vs. Ronnie the Greaser in an elimination No-Holds Barred Match for the British Columbia Heavyweight Title; Team Japanada challenges the Kelownafornians in a 2/3 falls tag team title match; Panama Wasp faces Big Bad Chad and more!

More Info @ http://www.pwacanada.com or http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=112735934906&ref=ts.

Saturday September 26th - Campbell River, BC

All Star Wrestling will be at the Thunderbird Hall. I will most likely be announcing the event.  Announcing was originally the job in wrestling I wanted to do, so I love being able to do it again. On the card you will see Sgt. Kaos tangle with Ladies Choice, Team Japanada vs. Kelownafornians, Disco Fury vs. Big Bad Chad and much more.

More info @ http://www.allstarwrestling.info

This will be the first time I have reared my ugly head in well over a year, so I’m looking forward to it. I’m even debating bringing a video camera with me to see what I can document from the trip. Hope to see you there!

I can’t say I was a big Patrick Swayze fan (although The Outsiders rules), but it would take a fool to deny him of his accomplishments and impact on pop culture, especially in the 1980’s and 1990’s. Any man that seems to universally make all women of all ages swoon over him HAS to be respected!

I was never a fan of Dirty Dancing or Ghost, but I do have my favorite Swayze moment.

I practically grew up on Saturday Night Live. A great deal of my comedic sense comes from watching religiously, probably from a much-too-young-age to be watching such a mature show (and no, I don’t watch it anymore).

The early 1990’s ushered in a new golden era for the show, with Mike Myers, Chris Farley, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Julia Sweeney, and others joining the show. Add in mainstays Kevin Nealon, Dana Carvey, Phil Hartman and others, and it was nothing short of awesome.

It was during this time period that Partick Swayze guest hosted and did one of my favorite SNL sketches ever. Swayze and Farley would play two men competing for the same job as Chippendales dancers. It came down to a final audition - a dance-off, even.

Below is the result. I can only hope that right now they are perming an encore of the skit at the pearly gates.

Over this time we’ve had some truly fun guests, including Hall of Famer Bret “Hitman” Hart, Eric Bischoff, former UFC champion Ken Shamrock, Dragon Gate USA’s Gabe Sapolsky, Darren Aronofsky and others.

This week we’ll be bringing you another fantastic guest. The below video should tell you all you need to know about who it is. After you watch it, be sure to head over to www.TheRingsideLive.com and subscribe to the show!

One of the places where you will find the most coomon use of nicknames is in professional sports. You had “Air” Jordan in basketball, boxing’s Tyson was “Iron Mike”, and baseball, football and hockey have never been any different.

Of course, I have been around wrestling in some form since I was 15 years old. For the first several years I did a bit of everything. Made posters, wrote programs, announced, rang the bell, acted as timekeeper, set up rings, you name it. Then after I graduated from high school I started wrestling. I quickly found that nicknames are aplenty in pro wrestling. I can honestly say I made some close friends whose real names are still a mystery to me.

Some nicknames are fun. Some are silly. Some are obscene. Some are accurate. Some are just stupid.

Here’s a few nicknames that we need to see used more often, either in wrestling, boxing, MMA, or in the office. Feel free to add your own suggestions…

• Crazy Legs
• Shoulders (or really any part of random anatomy)
• Man Mountain (what if you’re referring a girl?)
• Lightning Foot
• Squire
• The [insert ethnic orgin here] Angel
• The Sodbuster
• Mr. Danger
• No Class (why would you want to admit you had no class?)
• The Roughneck (better than Turkeyneck, I suppose)
• Starship Eagle
• Captain (especially if you’re not actually a captain of anything)
• Skull
• Ogre
• Firebreaker (what IS a firebreaker, anyway?)
• Diamond
• Thumper
• Professor

This time around, with today being WWE’s annual SummerSlam event, I wanted to take you back to a fond memory spurred by my father’s recent birthday (August 18th).

SummerSlam has always been one of my favorite annual events, going all the way back to the inaugural show in 1988 from Madison Square Garden. Back then, pay-per-view was not widely available in Canada (and wouldn’t be for several more years), so I had to wait until the VHS tape was released to see the event.

SummerSlam '89 Poster

In 1989, the Pacific Coliseum in Vancouver, BC hosted a live closed-circuit broadcast of the second SummerSlam event, which boasted a main event of Hulk Hogan and Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake versus Randy “Macho Man” Savage and Zeus (actor Tiny Lister of Friday fame reprising his role from the Hulk Hogan movie No Holds Barred).

You can imagine a young boys excitement when my father decided to get tickets and take me to the closed-circuit viewing…my first live PPV event.

The Pacific Coliseum in Vancouver is interchangeably known as the PNE Coliseum, and it resides on the grounds of the annual PNE event, the Pacific National Exhibition. The PNE features roller coasters, carnival, livestock shows, concerts, you name it. It’s kind of like a ramped-up county fair. Unfortunately for my father and I, SummerSlam came right smack-dab in the middle of the PNE, making parking a nightmare. Scratch that, it wasn’t a nightmare, it was impossible.

Every parking lot on the grounds was full. Adjacent parking lots were full as well. I’m not sure what we did, but I think we may have just paid a local resident to park in their driveway (that used to be common in the area before the city put the ixnay on it). We finally got the car parked what seemed like a million miles away from the area and began to race there on foot, knowing the event was already starting.

We very quickly realized that we would have to pretty much walk around the entire perimeter of the PNE grounds to get to an open gate that would let us in. Everything was fenced off due to the fair to keep both vehicle and foot traffic under control. Then my dad came up with the idea of scaling a chain link fence to get into the grounds in order to get to the arena faster. Now, I will have to be careful how I word this … My father is a larger man. I was silently afraid that he might a.) not be able to scale the high fence, or b.) embarrass himself, thereby embarrassing me.

It was really quite silly to be so concerned. In his younger years, my father was quite an athlete, excelling at both soccer and judo. Of course, he made it over the fence with no problems, and encouraged me to do the same, which I did.

This is where the story gets good…

There was a couple behind us watching us do this. A guy and his girlfriend, I presume. It just so happened that they were also heading to the arena to watch SummerSlam. They quickly realized we were onto something by scaling the fence, and proceeded to follow us. The girl made it over fine. The guy? Well, he didn’t fare quite so well.

The problem with chain link fences is that sometimes they are a little spiky on top. If you are a fella, you have to be aware of this to ensure you don’t injure your delicate man-parts. I would assume it is the same for the ladies, only if you are a lady and have man-parts, then scaling a fence should be the least of your concerns.

Anyhow, this guy wasn’t paying close enough attention. He climbed up, swung one leg over, and the crotch of his jeans got a little snagged on the top of the fence. He didn’t get hurt or anything, his pants just got caught. He wiggled around a bit up there (which looked REALLY weird) and managed to get free. Feeling that he was in the clear, he went to swing his other leg over the top of the fence for the descent. This is when it all happened. His jeans got caught again. This time, quite badly. REALLY badly.

I think when his pants got caught the first time, it left a little hole in his pants. Fences can be mean, cruel, horrible things, and they will capitalize on any weakness they detect. Well, I can only assume that has this guy swung his second leg over the fence, the little hole got snagged and became a much bigger hole. At the same time, he was all tangled and caught up to the point where he was stuck up there. He wriggled and jiggled around, trying to get free of the evil fence’s grip, and then it happened…

RRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIPPPPPP!

Before you knew it, this poor man was hanging upside-down from the fence. Arms were flailing. Legs were kicking. The crotch of his jeans (or what was left of it), solidly and tightly wound around the top of the fence still. Seriously. Picture a guy hanging head-first from a fence totally stuck and defenseless. That was this guy.

And in case you are wondering, I have no earthly explanation for why neither my dad or I tried to help him out. I do know that all the while, his girlfriend just stood there and let it happen, so technically, she is a worse person than we were. Left to his own devices, he finally did a sort of a sit-up and tried to free himself. I guess the strength of the denim of his jeans finally gave out, and he looked like he was repelling to the ground - using his pants instead of a rope.

I don’t think I have to tell you that his pants were destroyed. Well, the legs of his jeans were fine, but his tighty-whiteys were on full display. In fact, the entire fly and crotch area of his jeans were gone, and his pants were only still intact on the sides. In other words, he looked like a dude in his underwear wearing chaps. And now he had to walk through the middle of the PNE fair, and then into an arena filled with thousands of wrestling fans.

My dad and I finally made it into the arena, although we missed what was a fine match between the Hart Foundation and the Brain Busters. It was worth it. While we missed the match, we bonded as father and son should. By watching a man completely humiliate himself in public. Obviously, I have never forgotten that day, or the lesson we both learned…

We are better at climbing fences than that guy.

Me and My Dad, Mervyn

My dad just celebrated what I believe was his 67th birthday. Way to go, dad! In addition to that, he’s decided to leave his job at the Manawatu Standard to pursue more exciting, personally fulfilling endeavours. Knowing him, that’ll just lead to even more crazy stories to tell.

Oh, I don’t think my dad ever even liked wrestling. He just put up with it for my sake. In doing so, he took me to a gazillion live shows as a kid, and we continued to go to shows together into my teenage years. he even took me to my first-ever indy show, which I suppose indirectly led to me becoming a wrestler myself. And when I did, he was always a million percent supportive.

Yup, my dad is a pretty awesome dude.

Actually, he could very well be the reason why I look forward to SummerSlam ever year. Because I know that when I think of SummerSlam, I always think of our fence-climbing, pants-ripping adventure.