"Look into my webcam, you are feeling sleeeepy...."

There are, of course, a wide variety of different things that can help an individual heal and make positive change in their life and enhance their own personal development… Quality time spent with friends, family, and lovers; exercise; mindfulness practice such as yoga or meditation; religious faith practice; service to others; gratitude work; making art and being creative; journaling…. This list could go on and on, couldn’t it? There is a vast plethora of ways people can feel better in life.

Despite these things all being different, they can all be therapeutic, meaningful, and valuable… And none of them are really considered to be therapy as we know it.

So it is with that similar notion that I carry on to say that having perused these websites offering up online hypnotherapy, I do not think it is actually therapy or hypnotherapy as we know it.

In my opinion, these online therapists have gone too far in the direction of preying on vulnerable people in need of help. I am sure to get my usual dose of unsavoury emails from people disagreeing.

Someone is boudn to email me and tell me that they benfited greatly from online therapy, I have no doubt that people have been helped here and there. But having satisfied customers does not automatically license calling new technologically-mediated practices “hypnotherapy” and thereby connecting the new practice to generations of research, clinical experience, and study. Doing so diminishes the field of hypnotherapy, in my opinion.

When you visit these sites, you encounter disclaimers all over the place stating “not the same as face-to-face hypnotherapy.” These disclaimers are just part of how the sites implicitly claim that the email, IM, and even SKYPE exchanges being sold are just another kind of psychotherapy. No need for that inconvenient travel to a therapists consulting rooms. Shy about disclosing personal material in person? No worries, get some new and improved online hypnotherapy!

I’ll openly say this to anyone interested in buying my audio programmes – they are no way near in the same league as getting face-to-face, tailored therapeutic solutions to your issues. They have to be generic to cater for the masses that invest in them.

Let me say this… “Online hypnotherapy” is not a new kind of psychotherapy, it is not a new way of getting hypnosis for therapy; it is a technologically-mediated simulation of hypnotherapy. And like any simulation it has different limitations and is built from different processes than the traditional actuality being simulated.

It is a simulation!

Think about a flight simulator. Pilots log time in flight simulators to develop skills and learn emergency procedures. They are hugely important tools. But they have different limits than actually flying; no matter how much pilots learn in simulators, they can’t be used for an actual journey.

Good quality hypnotherapy is an actual journey. Simulations always have limits, so much so that the burden of proof must be on the purveyors of the simulation that the simulation is, in fact, good enough. No one has yet offered that proof.

In order for hypnotherapy to be effective, (all my students learn this on day one!) and this is stated in various guises in varying schools, there needs to be a positive “therapeutic alliance.” Reali-life trust and rapport needs to exist, the client needs to feel safe enough to do the often difficult work.

Many schools of psychotherapy refer to a holding environment. When you are not actually in a room with the therapist, there is an artificial limit on how safe one can feel. Email or SKYPE simply do not provide the same context for the development of the therapeutic relationship.

Understanding what another human being is experiencing is not magic, nor is it purely linguistic. Even video-conference based online therapies can’t overcome the loss of physical co-presence, at least not now, because it is impossible to look someone in the eye and be looking at the camera at the same time. And the experience of empathy depends in part on such real-life eye contact and interaction. While online interactions can generate the feeling of being understood, that is fundamentally different than the real-life process of actually being understood.

The hypnosis itself is of a very different quality, the intimacy and being truly tuned in to the individual you are working with is something you simply cannot do with the same intimacy and connection online.

Those considering what on the face of it seems like a safe option of online therapy, perhaps you could just ask yourself whether it is a simulation that you want? If not, please do seek out a professional hypnotherapist that you can encounter in real-life, the experience is vastly different and far more satisfactory in my opinion.

To those looking for more income channels in these seemingly tough economic times, maybe you could consider clearly stating that what you are offering is a simulation, not the actual journey that has been subject to decades of research and rigourous study.

© Adam Eason Personal Development — visit Adam-Eason.com for great articles, interviews and more on hypnosis and personal development.

I remember as a boy, when my parents came to watch me play football – my poor Mum, living in a male dominated home, would have to attend games if my Dad had to be elsewhere or at another game of my brothers for example. Regardless of whether I won or lost, scored goals or didn’t, my Mum would always tell me how proud of me she was and that I should be pleased with the effort I put in. It always made me feel better and always put an end to the childish, ridiculous tantrum I was engaged in if I had not scored a wonder goal or if we had lost.

When I reflect, the influence my Mum had on me throughout my life is massive. Mums do tend to have a way about them. They have a depth and a certain quality to their understanding and love toward their children. This is not 100% the case, though a mother’s love can do amazingly powerful things.

My lifetime has been blessed with having some remarkable mother figures in it. My own wonderful mother of course and both of my Grandmothers who were tremendously wonderful women – all in very different ways.

Some people have doubtless experienced emotions of aloneness, depression, or rejection in their lives – traditionally these are beautifully healed by a mother’s warm touch or words of support. Maybe it is because she carries us inside her womb for those 9 months that makes a mother represent safety, a nurturing presence, a calm and loving sanctuary.

Today’s technique is about having that nurture, that love and that sense of safety that a mother can give.

To practice this self-hypnosis technique, you do not have to have had an ideal or perfect relationship with your real mother. Perhaps you never knew your mother. Perhaps she had difficulties of her own and could not be the supportive, loving person you wanted her to be.

Whatever your relationship is or was with your mother, prior to running through this technique, imagine that you send her some loving thoughts and positive intentions. Also, know that loving, motherly tenderness can be yours whenever you want it or need it, let me show you how.

Self-Hypnosis for Motherly Love: In 7 Simple Steps

Step One: Be in a place where you are going to be undisturbed for a while. Then, with your arms and legs uncrossed, get yourself into a comfortable position and begin to relax.

Ideally, go get my self-hypnosis book and learn how to go into a nice deep state of hypnosis. For today though, use whatever technique you know to develop a good, receptive state of mind. Focus on your breathing slowing and enjoy winding down your body’s rhythm. Relax your body and spend some calm moments enjoying stillness, real stillness. Imagine drifting deep into your mind and when you eel as if you have developed  good level of receptivity, then proceed to step two.

Step Two: In this receptive state, imagine now what you would like a mother to be and know that you have those qualities within you. This technique is going to  help you access those emotions, feelings and resources.

Think about what a mother means to you, or what the mother figure can give you. Maybe she is the great nurturer. Maybe she is the one who soothes you in times of trouble. For some she is the extension of your soul. Perhaps your mother helps you over the rough spots, who is always behind you, supporting you. Maybe she is that beautiful feeling of tranquility, safety and peacefulness. You might want her to be the strength and fortitude and the arms that cradle you. Or she might simply be the one who smiles on you during easy times, and helps you through rough times, someone who is always by your side.

Whatever she might be for you, imagine it in the most appropriate, helpful and enjoyable way for you. Really connect with the qualities that you need and want – for your own well-being and higher good.

Step Three: Now just drift deeper into your own mind. Allow yourself some time to relax deeper.

As you inhale bring your awareness to your feet, ankles and toes…. Exhale allowing them to drift and become soft, loose and limp, and just let them let deeper into relaxation.

Then inhale bringing your awareness to your entire legs…. Exhale allowing them to be soft, loose and limp.

Continue to bring your awareness to your middle and upper body, again, as you exhale allowing the muscles to be loose, limp and dormant. Imagine the nerves within those muscles becoming quiet and inactive, calm and gently.

Then bring your awareness to your neck and head. Including all those tiniest of muscles in your face.  Allow them to soften, relax, loosen and let go. Nice and easily and naturally.

Finally, inhale into your entire body. Bringing in that breath into every aspect of your body, filling it up with well-being. Exhale through your entire body allowing it to be soft, loose, at ease and limp, and just let your awareness drift further inside your mind. Take all the time necessary to deepen your sense of relaxation here.

Step Four: We are all part of our mothers; she gave birth to you. So imagine that you reach deep inside yourself and tune in to the part of you that is her. Go deep within and find your inner, unconscious Mother. She is there; get a sense of her within you. Imagine and trust that she is within you, innately part of you and part of who you are.

She is your motherly instincts, your motherly consciousness. She is the mother of your being. She is in every part of your physical, emotional and mental being. In this moment as you tune in to that sense of your mother within, you might like to imagine that she is your comforting pillow and a blanket warming you deeply and lovingly. She is in your smile as you smile in recognition right now at this connection with that part of you.

If you want to, or feel it would enhance this experience for you, take some time here to imagine your wonderful inner Mother. If she has a face, what would it look like? How would she be physically? Or is she more ethereal? Choose and allow her to be manifest in your mind if you choose. For me, it is always my actual Mum; it may or may not be the same for you. Just allow this to be right for you.

Step Five: Now that you have considered her, thought about her and reached out to her within you, let her give to you.

Imagine that in this moment of connection, while you are here living and breathing, your inner Mother is nurturing you. Enjoy being nurtured and open yourself to receive all the motherly qualities you thought about in step two – you might like to imagine her handing them to you as gifts, or embracing you lovingly and sending them to you – accept all she has to offer, knowing that she gives willingly as any truly loving mother does.

Maybe you imagine that she is a river of all those wonderful qualities in your body. Let her bring you as many of those gifts as you are ready to receive. Then, with her arms extended, imagine that she caresses you from inside…. Imagine her presence or energy courses through your entire being from your feet to your head. She loves you, soothes you, comforts you, surrounds you in love, supports you and allows you to feel truly safe.

Take some time and be with her now and feel her loving presence.

Step Six: You now have an opportunity to heighten and develop this relationship. So go ahead and tell your inner Mother that you have trust in her to continue to nurture you in all the way that are for your higher good.

You can speak out to her and acknowledge that you are the child of her existence. You may ant to open yourself to her caress, her nurture, her love more readily, frequently and openly.  You may want to accept that you are one and acknowledge that with her. You may ant her to fill you with her love or just hold you in her arms. If so, tell her that and communicate with her at this deep level.

Create a really nice, deep bond and then thank your inner Mother for her constant or continued presence in your life.

You can choose to enjoy a continued dialogue and reflect appropriate on your dialogue with her. Most importantly, appreciate and accept her motherly qualities and love.

Step Seven: When you have absorbed as much of this motherly love as is right or you, wiggle your toes and fingers, take a deep breath and open your eyes to bring this to an end for now.

As you begin to stretch and return to your usual state, know that you always love and accept your inner Mother, and that she is there for you whenever you need her.

It fills me with love and warm, fuzzy feelings just writing that and I know how beneficial and enjoyable it is to really get in to this kind of technique and exercise.

This is about enjoying all the wonders that mothers offer. Take some time out this week to truly tap into the mother’s love that exists within you. It is fabulously warm and enjoyable to do so and offers lots of additional qualities that I have not even mentioned here today… I wonder what you’ll discover…

© Adam Eason Personal Development — visit Adam-Eason.com for great articles, interviews and more on hypnosis and personal development.

The quickest explanation for so much ADD in the world that springs to mind is by far the most unlikely – that attention deficit disorder amongst the western worlds population has actually increased in the last 15 years. Has it really, do you think?

We can see through fields of evolutionary psychology and many other fields of science that human nature is notably constant and slow to change, while diagnostic changes and procedures happen with much more regularity. There are not more people with attention deficit than ever before… It is just that  more attentional problems are now being labelled as mental disorder.

Those at theart of this discussion, psychiatrists, psychologists, scientists and medical professionals would attribute this to one of the following explanations:

Firstly the wording changes in the diagnostic manual DSM4 since published in 1994.
Secondly, heavy drug company marketing to doctors and advertising to the general public. (Do you think there is any more Ritalin left in the worlds resources?)
Thridly, the extensive media coverage of ADD and related subjects.
Fourth, pressure from parents and schools to control unruly and very energetic children.
Finally, the use of stimulants for performance enhancement.

I wrote several weeks back about changes to the DSM book and the new one (DSM5) will become the official manual for psychiatric diagnosis when it is published in 2013. The recently posted first draft contains a number of suggestions that would make it even easier to get a diagnosis of ADD in the opinion of many of my professional peers.

It seems that problems with attention and hyperactivity are very common in the general population…. And no, I am not harping back to simple multitasking as per yesterdays blog entry ;-) …. But there is no clear boundary to determine what level of hyperactivity or attention loss can be considered just a quirky variation in an individual and when they are best labeled and treated as mental disorder. I am certain that if I was to relive my childhood in todays schools, I’d be considered to have ADD.

There are also many, many causes for becoming easily distracted other than diagnosing ADD. That of course includes mood and anxiety problems, substance use, sleep disorders, stress, very busy lifestyles, and many, many other possible contributory factors. If the requirements for diagnosing ADD are too stringent, true cases may get missed. If they are too loose, innocent bystanders may get diagnised and added to the massive party! I worry about what is going to happen if DSM5 makes them far looser… Everyone in the world is going to be diagnosed as having ADD!!!

Have a marvellous weekend, the sun is going to shine and I am not working… I think my garden is going to get some attention.

© Adam Eason Personal Development — visit Adam-Eason.com for great articles, interviews and more on hypnosis and personal development.

Additionally, there a a bunch of ex-spurts who tend to complain that people do too many things at the same time… I know a teenage client of mine tells me he has music on, his instant messenger buzzing away, while answering emails and doing his college work! What a busy bee he is while on his computer…

We are told to quit with all the unnecessary web-browsing, texting, twittering, music-listening, eating, and drinking. The key to productivity, competence, and even happiness is to focus on one thing and do it right according to many schools of thought.

Now, this is excellent advice if you’re performing brain surgery or driving a packed double decker bus in central London or conducting a hypnotherapy session with a client… At least, I’d feel safer in the knowledge my brain surgeon was not eating a pot noodle and playing Bejewelled on his iPhone while removing a tumour… Otherwise, I am of the opinion that this notion of having to be focused on one thing all the time is nonsense, there I said it.

Firstly, many activities really can be done on auto-pilot. In fact, it’s preferreable. I listen to music and audio books while on the treadmill and there’s nothing wrong with that… I often check my emails while on hold to the bank… And surely it makes a lot of sense to do your ironing while watching the telly, or at least while in a state of self-hypnosis delivering some valuable suggestions to yourself, no?  (You see… Men CAN multi-task!)

Secondly then… There are activities that are so goddam boring and aversive that if wasn’t for multi-tasking, they would never get done at all… My accounts meetings need to be done with cups of tea and spots of idle chit-chat.

Thirdly, I’d say that those attentional puritans are right that some activities are done better with total focus. There is considerable psychological and neurological evidence in support of this. But so what? Not everything needs to be perfect, and it’s often more efficient, and a lot more fun, to do two things at 80 percent capacity than one thing at 100 percent capacity. As they would say in the big budget TV shows – You do the math.

If you are reading this while messaging a friend, watching a youtube clip, and/or listening to music, good on you…

© Adam Eason Personal Development — visit Adam-Eason.com for great articles, interviews and more on hypnosis and personal development.

I think the song went like that anyway. ;-)

Last weekend on my hypnotherapy training diploma, when the students had broken out into pairs to practice their skills and get a hypnosis exercise dones, I noticed one of my students wiggled his feet each time he went into hypnosis… I caught those hypnosis feet on camera on my phone and thought I’d share it with you here…

I often suggest to people experiencing hypnosis that it is best to experience stillness whilst in hypnosis, mainly because when you are really still, you have less spatial awareness and it helps create a deeper hypnosis experience. When people fidget and shuffle around, they get reminded where their fingers and legs are (if scratching their legs that is) and so they get more grounded and less inclined to drift inside their minds.

That said, if someone develops a kind of rhythm to their relaxed state, or their hypnosis, then I think that is lovely and can even be used to develop more depth and even reproduce the hypnosis state at will. Interesting stuff…

© Adam Eason Personal Development — visit Adam-Eason.com for great articles, interviews and more on hypnosis and personal development.