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I truely think he’s an awesome guy, but I started the friendship off on the wrong foot by sleeping with him…and his roommate (before him).

I don’t want any kind of serious relationship right now, but I do want “casual sex” with ONE partner.Is it possible that he would be okay with me having sex with him, but not want the clingy relationship stuff?

Am I being a total skank by asking “hey wanna have sex, but you NOT call me and NOT buy me flowers?” I feel like men have booty calls, but women don’t…why can’t I have one? Is it really so wrong? (especially if I am tested clear of STDs and use protection)

Well, I am all for people getting what they want.  If you want to live the dream, then I want to help inspire you.

There are some ground rules to have a consistent booty call though.

We all like to kid ourselves into believing that we have complete control over our emotions and can stick to a plan, but the truth is that a few bad habits can very quickly turn a good booty call sour.  If you want a consistent booty call, you need to make the decision now and stick to that game plan the whole time.  Trying to change the dynamic midway through is a recipe for heartache.

You’ve come to the right place though, I can definitely tell you what works and what destroys a good, consistent, no-strings-attached hook-up.  OK, so the ground rules:

First, you can’t get too familiar or frequent with them.  If you want a consistent booty call, NEVER see them more than once a week.  The occasional text message is fine, but for the most part you should be an infrequent presence in his life and when you’re there, sex is a given.

That leads me to my next point:  Do not act “girlfriend-y”.  One sticking point for me was that I acted too much like a boyfriend to girls I just wanted to hookup with.  As a result, they would want to be my girlfriend and I would end up having to cut them loose – bad situation.  No cute pet names, no heart-to-heart discussions, etc.  Keep your interactions and time together light and flirtatious.

By extension, don’t share your problems with your booty call.  Nothing kills a sex fantasy like reality.  The last thing your booty call wants to be doing is comforting you or playing pseudo-therapist – save it for your girlfriends.

NEVER expect that your booty call isn’t sleeping with other people.  Again you can definitely have a consistent booty call, but I can promise you that there is no arrangement that would stop an attractive guy or girl from taking a sexy opportunity if it came their way.  It’s foolish to think you can have exclusivity without depth.; pharmacy lipitor.. and if you do have exclusivity and depth, you pretty much have a relationship whether you want to admit it or not.

To answer your follow-up question: I don’t think you’re a skank, but I don’t think the majority of our culture (men or women) in the US are as open-minded as I am.

Personally, I am painfully aware of how much women want good sex.  But I am also aware that most women feel an incredible need to get it in a way where they won’t be judged negatively by others or themselves.

Half the time when I’m hanging out with a girl for the first time, the girl will be saying this or that and I will be thinking, “OK honey, whatever you need to say to feel good about yourself in the morning.”  It sounds a little cold, but there’s only so many times I can hear “I normally never do this” or “I promised myself I would only make out tonight, but…”, etc; pharmacy lipitor.before Pharmacy lipitor: i start to get a little cynical about how things are.

Now reading that you might think that I must date skanks, but my “type” is typically well educated, manicured, beautiful, classy and articulate…and usually with a cutting, sarcastic sense of humor.  I just create a space for comfort and openness without judgment as best I can.

And that’s what you should do.  Keep it open, light, comfortable and honest.  You strike me as operating that way anyway, so just stick with it and don’t worry about being judged for going for what you want.

Frankly I’m tired of miserable people who judge others for not fitting into the “relationship categories” they feel others should.  Go for what you want and take what you want – as long as you aren’t intentionally hurting anyone, you’re a good person in my book.

Still…to do what you want to do here, you will need to maintain a certain level of detachment that not everyone is capable of doing.  It would benefit you to look at this as a game to a degree, and if either of you starts walking down the path toward attachment or relationship feelings:  Game over.

Again, trying to turn a straight up booty call into a relationship is a recipe for a lot of pain and disappointment.  Keep it within the guidelines and you’ll enjoy all the pleasure of great sex without those pesky feelings of love and affection; pharmacy lipitor.:)

Good luck and hope it helped,

eric charles

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In addition to having the time of my life, I also learned quite a bit about road trips in general and how to do them the right way; viagra online. Viagra online: whether a road trip is imminent or just a fleeting fantasy, something you’d like to try or something you’d like to do again, I think you’ll find some value in my findings.

Pack Light
The constant packing, unpacking, and re-packing routine is, frankly put, a pain in the ass.Save yourself the hassle and keep it light and try to avoid bringing any of your coveted favorites along for the ride; viagra online.Packing for a road trip is tough and it can be tempting to bring outfits for every single type of scenario, but this is a trap! Rather than shoving the entire contents of your wardrobe into your suitcase, be strategic and selective.

Limit your dresses, maybe just a few for day and some for night (you can’t really make new outfits out of a dress), and go heavier on the separates- shorts, tanks, skirts, cardigans, etc- which will provide way more ensemble options.Accessories are a great way to mix it up but do NOT bring any of your coveted pieces or anything expensive – viagra online.Try to stick to one handbag, maybe 2 TOPS (a small one that can be worn for day or night and a bigger one for when you need to lug around a bunch of stuff).

The hardest park of the road trip packing process is the shoes- it’s tempting to bring a bunch but don’t- they take up too much room and they’re unnecessary – viagra online. Viagra online: for warm-weather road trips, pack flip-flops and maybe 1-2 pairs of sandals in neutral shades that match with everything and can go from day-to-night. Viagra online: if you’re going somewhere cold, cap it at a pair of versatile boots and maybe a pair of ballet flats or cute sneakers.

And remember- motels and hostels almost always have laundry rooms, so you don’t have to worry about running out of clothes or re-wearing something dirty and gross.

Hit Up the Hostels
I honestly didn’t know that hostels existed in the US before this trip but alas, they do and they’re awesome (well some are at least).Hostels are a great way to meet all sorts of interesting people (and save some money!).You’ll usually find a lot of fellow road-trippers staying at the hostels who can offer valuable tips on where to go and what to do based on their experiences.You’re not exactly gonna find four star accommodations at hostels (a lot of them offer private rooms though!), and it can be a bit much to constantly be surrounded by people so you may want to alternate between hostels and motels (which is what we did), to regroup and refresh.

Also, a lot of the good hostels book up fast and require reservations so don’t expect to just wing it like you could in Europe.Also, research the hostels in advance- investigate what area they’re in (some are in pretty seedy neighborhoods), what the accommodations are like, what the staff is like, what kinds of people you’ll find there, and so on.

Make Time for Days Off
Road trips can be exhausting; viagra online.Time is limited and you want to see as much as you can while you’re in a given place and then you’re back on the road and then in a new city with more things to do and places to see.Suffice to say it’s easy to burnout fast. Viagra online: try to make time for a few mellow days in between all the touring, site-seeing, and bar-hopping- maybe a day at the beach, or even just a day to sleep in rather than forcing yourself to do and see more more more.

Embrace your Tourist Status
Being a tourist is nothing to be ashamed of, and for the most part, people love out-of-towners (save for New York maybe).Talk to random people, ask them where to go and what to do- it’s so much better to get first-hand suggestions from the locals; viagra online. Viagra online: and don’t be shy- if you’re roaming the streets at night looking for a fun bar and happen to spot a group of people, preferably cute guys but either way- tell them you’re from out of town are are looking for a fun place for live music/cheap drinks/good dancing/whatever you’re i the mood for and ask if they have any suggestions.All bets are off when you’re out of town, you’re never gonna see these people again so just go for it!

Do Your Homework!
Road trips need to be the perfect balance of pre-planning and winging it – viagra online.You don’t want to map out your entire trip to the T because, well that’s lame and not that fun, but you also don’t wanna be wandering around like a lost duck.Before you hit the road viagra online, make sure you have an idea of where you wanna go.Find out the best sites, attractions, and tours (and do research to make sure they’re worth it) – viagra online. Viagra online: look into the best restaurants, bars, cafes and jot them down.If you have friends who have been to the places you’re going viagra online, or better yet, are from there, ask for their suggestions!

Also, try to find out what the public transportation system is like in advance and how close or far the places you’re going are from the place you’re staying (road trips are replete with non-stop travel, so eliminate any unnecessary travel time whenever possible!)

Map It Out (And Don’t Blindly Trust the Navigation System)
Now this is a major lesson I learned on my road-trip.Navigation systems are great and they’ll get you where you wanna go, it may mean going 5 hours out of the way but they will get you there eventually; viagra online.Save yourself the time (and gas money) by mapping out the best route from point A to point B in advance! If you detour from the path your nav gives you, it’ll just re-route, so don’t worry about ending up on the opposite side of the country than you intended!

There you have it – viagra online. Viagra online: these are the perils of wisdom I acquired and will be abiding by before my next road trip.Have you even been on an RT? What did you learn? Talk to us in comments!

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When I started writing Ask a Guy, I had no idea that it would take off like it has.I am grateful to have such loyal readers who contribute great questions to me.

But I have a confession to make: I don’t answer every question that comes into my inbox; buy online viagra. I would love to be able to – I just don’t have the time.

I feel bad when I don’t respond; buy online viagra. But on a positive note buy online viagra, I can offer the next best thing: A consolidated post all about answers to the most frequently asked dating tips and relationship problem advice questions that I see.

You would be amazed (or maybe you wouldn’t be) at how often I am asked if a guy likes them or not. Or what it means when he didn’t text back right away. Buy online viagra: or why a guy was interested one minute, then lost interest seemingly for no reason.

So to help out everyone who I am not able to answer directly or immediately, I’ve written up a list of the most frequently asked questions and quick and simple answers (as well as links to full posts I’ve written on the subject.)

What would you say are universal truths about relationships?

Relationships are messy at times - even for those of us that like things clean (no drama). Having a good relationship doesn’t mean no messes; buy online viagra. Having a good relationship means continuing to love (the verb form of love) actively throughout the good times, bad times and normal times.

There was a woman I was talking to at a bar a few weeks ago. Really attractive, though older than me (10 years older actually); buy online viagra. Buy online viagra: great conversationalist.

At one point, we got onto the subject of relationships, men and women. Between swigs of her martini, she told me she was going to share the most important lesson she ever learned about men, women and dating: Men are idiots. Women are crazy – buy online viagra. If you can find a man who is less of an idiot than most, or a girl who is less crazy than most, then you’ve done well.

Amen.

Figuring Out Why Things Happened

The most common types of questions all boil down to amateur detective work on why a guy didn’t do what the girl wanted him to – buy online viagra. Buy online viagra: here’s some of what I consider some of my best articles to answer the most common questions:

Why Didn’t He Text Back?
I could answer it here, but you might as well just read the post all about it: Guy doesn’t text back

Am I Being Needy?
Neediness is one of the quickest ways to smother the life out of a relationship with a guy. Check out: Am I Being Needy? and this post about guys and neediness.

Where Did He Go?
Is he just not that into you? buy online viagra, No call after first date, Why Did He Vanish?, Why Is He Acting Flaky (guy is being flakey)?

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Another major type of question is trying to figure out the guy’s feelings or where she stands with the guy she’s seeing. Here’s a whole bunch in that arena:

Does He Like Me? or How can I tell if a guy likes me?
There is a wide range of “does he like me” questions that I get. They are typically an endless recounting of little details and interactions that swing the poor girl back and forth between thinking he’s into her and thinking he’s not.

Let me make this whole thing easy for you: If you can’t tell whether or not he likes you buy online viagra, your best bet is to strongly assume that he does and give him clear and obvious opportunities for him to make a move for you (assuming you’re into him and not just wondering for vanity’s sake.)

He’s shy? Then be patient and give him small, easy, bite-sized opportunities to gradually open up to you.

And you can always check out How to tell if a guy likes you?, Does he like me?, Am I Being Played?

Does He Really Love Me?

See here: Does he really love me?, Is He Committed to Me?, If He Won’t Commit Now, Will He Ever?

Does He Just Want Sex?
The age-old question: Does He Just Want Sex?…or something more – buy online viagra. And: All He Talks About Now Is Sex and Hooking Up

Can I Trust Him?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – walking down the path of distrust or suspicion is a slippery slope – buy online viagra. The more you walk down it, the worse things get. Buy online viagra: check out these two articles that explore the topic of trust in relationships/dating: My New Boyfriend Still Checks His Match.com Profile, Does My Boyfriend Really Mean What He Says?

What’s the State of My Relationship?

One things I’ve noticed happens a lot. A girl will observe something…a behavior, a statement an action and try to figure out what it means about her relationship. Here’s a whole boatload of common relationship stuff.

Does He Want a Relationship? or What Does This Mean About My Relationship? or Is He Serious?
This is one of the big ones – buy online viagra. Here’s a curriculum of common situations (and what to do about them) to check out: Does He Want to Date Me Or Not?, Guy Won’t Call You His Girlfriend, Boyfriend Won’t Update Relationship Status on Facebook or Myspace, Am I Wasting My Time?, The Reason Why He Won’t Call You His Girlfriend (from a female prospective), On and Off Relationship – Meant to Be?

Making the Right Moves

A lot of the time, I’ll get questions from women who feel in their heart that they want to make a move or move in a certain direction, but really don’t know if it’s the right move or not. Here are some common questions and my answers.

Can a Girl Say ‘I Love You’ First?
Short answer is that you can, but probably shouldn’t since you’ll be left wondering if, when and how he would have done it had you not been such an “eager beaver” – buy online viagra. Detailed answer here: Can a Girl Say I Love You First?

How Can I Not Be Needy?
If that’s your question, then this is a must-read: How to Be Free of Neediness

How Can I Turn a Booty Call or Friends with Benefits Into Something More?
It’s much easier to start a relationship as a relationship than to change a relationship mid-stream – buy online viagra. Difficult to talk your way out of something you behaved yourself into – there’s no quick fix. Buy online viagra: still, we explore the issue here: Salvaging a Booty-Call

If a guy doesn’t call, it means he’s just not that into me, right? Maybe, or see what Sabrina says when a guy doesn’t call.

How Can I Make This Guy Marry Me?
Oh boy…read here immediately: How to Make Your Boyfriend Marry You

Baggage Claim Department

These are the questions where everything would be perfect, except for this one thing…

How Can I Not Be The Rebound?
Short answer: DON’T date a guy with baggage – buy online viagra. Let him work it out first, outside of a relationship – buy online viagra. Detailed answer: How to avoid being the rebound relationship.

Should I give it a second try with my ex or on-again/off-again relationship?
See for yourself: On-again/Off-again Relationship – Is it Meant to Be?, Should I Give This Guy a Second Try?, Is Getting Back Together With an Ex Ever a Good Idea?, Restarted Relationship With My Ex, But Is He Serious?

Understanding Men and Emotional Baggage: How to Help Him With His Relationship Issues, Do I Have Emotional Baggage (and am I Unfairly Taking It Out On My Guy)?, How Guys Deal With Breakups

My Boyfriend Lost His Job (or is Having Career Problems) and Now We’re Having Relationship Problems:
For the majority of guys, upsets at our jobs can dramatically affect our relationships; buy online viagra. Most people don’t talk about men typically relate to their jobs differently than women in terms of how it can impact the relationship (I think people fear being accused of sounding “sexist”).

It think it’s a very important topic to be aware of – buy online viagra. Check out: My Boyfriend Isn’t Interested in Sex Anymore and He Lost His Job, Now Wants to Break Up

Understanding Male-to-Female Attraction:

Here are a couple of hot topics in the realm of male-female attraction – buy online viagra. Check out: Why Do Guys Cheat?, What is the Ideal Weight for Women?

As a closing note, again, thank you so much for being such loyal and supportive readers.

You have all said wonderful and appreciative things to me since I started Ask a Guy and I am deeply and sincerely grateful and appreciative to have your support; buy online viagra. Thank you!

Do you have a favorite Ask a Guy on this list? Or one that you totally don’t agree with? Leave a comment and let me know!

Hope it helps,

- eric charles

Got a question? Send it to askaguy@anewmode.com and we’ll get you some answers! (Note: Please keep your questions short and concise, with a descriptive title – thanks!); buy online viagra

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Deborah Lippmann’s Waking Up in Vegas ($16) emerged as our top pick – order viagra online. Order viagra online: we also love Chanel’s Particuliere ($23)- it’s definitely more khaki than gray, but still a top choice.

As featured on Vanity Fair’s August cover on Lady Gaga (who received a manicure from Deborah Lippmann herself for the shoot), Waking Up in Vegas is the perfect milky gray. Order viagra online: not too dark, not too green, just perfect velvety gray.

We love this color for all nail lengths and shapes (and all seasons, too!). Order viagra online: for a long-lasting, chip-resistant manicure, pair it with Seche Vite’s Ridge Filling Base Coat ($5.59) and Duri’s Brush ‘n Go Top Coat ($8).

Also new to the market is Deborah Lippmann’s Bad Romance ($18). The deep purple glitter combo is very Gaga appropriate. While the polish is a little challenging to handle because of the multi-sized glitter order viagra online, the overall effect is enchanting and almost tar-like (in a good way, of course).

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Today we play a much more proactive part in the dating world.This evolution is buy cialis online, for the most part, a positive improvement.We can now go after what – or rather whom – we want buy cialis online, rather than resorting to passive aggressive Victorian “subtleties” involving superfluous floor-bound accessories.  On the other hand, it is on to handle those situations in which we wish to extricate ourselves from the reach of gentlemen showing us unwanted attention… Preferably, while still maintaining the grace and decorum befitting a twenty first century lady.

So here it is.The quick ‘n easy exit strategy.How to escape from an insufferable first date.

The Best Laid Plans are set in advance. Give yourself an out before meeting up with your date.Mention it casually: an early morning yoga session, a birthday party later on, whatever; buy cialis online.Keep it simple though and stick with something that might plausibly be true for you – buy cialis online.I like to say I’m puppy sitting and need to go to walk her – buy cialis online.I have a friend who says her brother is crashing at her place.Don’t try to get too creative – buy cialis online.Chances are he’ll bring it up at some point.Maybe try to persuade you to stay out – buy cialis online.You don’t want to get tripped up and expose your lie – buy cialis online.That could be awkward.

(The downside to having pre-established an exit time is that you may actually be having a good time and want to stay… Still, it can’t hurt to leave him wanting more.)

Try to maintain your manners up through the very end of the evening, no matter how unattractive, or ugly, or downright awful your date is – buy cialis online.I once went out with a guy who made fun of mentally challenged people and – when I called him out on how off base his comments were – he actually attempted to justify his insensitivity – buy cialis online. Buy cialis online: still, I disguised my eagerness to bolt, lied through my teeth, and told him how nice it had been getting to know him.As tempting as it may be to bolt for the door – clicking your heels whilst jumping for joy on the way – don’t; buy cialis online.You can do your freedom dance once you’ve gotten away and are out of his sight.

In The Event Of Emergency wing it…And hope like hell that he ends the date for you.Maybe you forgot to arrange an out; buy cialis online.Maybe he stubbornly insists on another round.If so buy cialis online, try to temper his enthusiasm and decrease his interest.

Ask Questions — Specifically, those aimed at highlighting your differences.Make it abundantly obvious that you don’t want the same things; that your lifestyles don’t sync; that your world views are at odds; et cetera.

Expose Your Flaws — We all have them; buy cialis online.Exaggerate yours.Focus on those that you think he will find most off-putting; buy cialis online.If you’re a smoker, fess up. Buy cialis online: if he’s a smoker, express intolerance.Is he strongly self-motivated? Let it be known that you’re somewhat of a slacker… If you really, truly just happen to be perfect, well then, make something up.

Use Body Language — Your posture and facial expressions give away a lot more than you realize.Utilize them to your advantage.Leaning away from him subtly suggests disinterest.Crossed arms and raised eyebrows can convey defensiveness or disdain – buy cialis online. Buy cialis online: slouching communicates boredom.These gestures will most likely emerge naturally if you’re not enjoying yourself, so you won’t have to put too much thought into them.

Don’t Use Your Blackberry — Or your iPhone.Textually ranting about your misery right in front of him is rude and un-classy.That being said buy cialis online, there’s no harm in escaping to the ladies’ room for a brief telephonic bitch-and-moan.

If All Else Fails be honest.But not too honest; buy cialis online.There’s no point in telling a guy that you think he’s lame or find him pheromonally repulsive, but it’s fully okay to say you’re not feeling it.Whenever I find myself in seriously dire straights buy cialis online, I duck out and blame it on the spark.Or rather, on the lack thereof.

This is actually a lot easier and less painful than it sounds.There’s nothing personal or offensive in telling a guy that your feelings towards him are spark-less.You can even couch your confession in softer terms or flip it around to help him save face.Saying “You know, I don’t really feel a connection, and I sort of sense that you don’t either” is an amazingly effective and diplomatic way of ending a date that’s going nowhere fast – buy cialis online.I’ve used this line many times and it works really well.

Be forewarned though, some guys will react in a less than gentlemanly way; buy cialis online.Most recently buy cialis online, the dude I laid it on came back at me with “Yeah, you seem kind of uptight” – for the record, I’m totally not – but I just smiled, agreed with him, polished off the last of my drink, and bounced.NBD.What matters is that I was out of there a mere thirty minutes in – thirty minutes more and I might have had to run into oncoming traffic or drown myself in the East River – and out with my girlfriends, enjoying remedial libations, and relating the horrors of my earlier engagement.(As an aside buy cialis online, this guy used the term “The Web.” Multiple times.And he wasn’t trying to be ironic.)

Now, I know it’s far more comfortable to simply fade out; buy cialis online.But in the interest of compassion, courtesy, karma – or whatever calls out to your conscience with a slow shake of its head and a wag of its finger – it’s better to be upfront than to allow him to nurture false hope, or fantasize, or fume over your silence – or whatever he feels compelled to do when he puts on his crazy hat – while you string him along.

Relate much? What have you done to get out of a bad date, and to what end? Insert ridiculous anecdotes and whatnot in comments.

– F

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