a new mode

ANM Obsession: IM-HM.com, Our New Favorite Online Shopping Destination

Sabrina Alexis — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 15:00:58 +0000

Major shopping sites can be majorly overwhelming. Sure there are tons of amazing pieces, but it can take forever to click through page after page of merchandise in order to find what you want, I mean, who has that kind of time?

This is one reason I favor small e-boutiques when I need something fabulous. My newest go to is IM-HM.com (I Am High Maintenance), a small online boutique with a well-edited selection of pieces from premium designers such as Twenty8Twelve, Sass & Bide, Crispin & Basilio, Richard Nicoll, Joe’s Jeans and more.

While the selection is small, it’s still diverse and features everything from basic staples to avant-garde wow-inducers and I honestly love, and would wear, each and every item. Having a targeted selection also makes for a much more enjoyable, much less overwhelming and time-consuming shopping experience.

I could go on and on, but the proof is really in the pudding, or rather, the merchandise.

Read on for my top 10 favorite pieces and for an exclusive discount code for ANM readers.

Twenty8Twelve Theo Modal Wool Jersey Top, $125. A fashion-forward top that will update anything in your closet.

Sass & Bide World At My Feet Embellished Vest, $276.50; NOW: $193.55. The perfect way to toughen up your look just a touch.

Rachel Gilbert Lindsay Dress, $445. A standout, statement party dress that combines two of our favorite trends: neutrals and sequins!

Richard Nicoll Ella Dress with Panel Detail, $675; NOW: $472.85. A simple dress that is simply stunning and can take you anywhere from work to a cocktail party.

Sass & Bide Dizzy Heights Fringed Singlet Dress, $192; NOW: $134.75. Funky, fresh, and fashion-forward, this one’s a can’t miss.

Leonardo Salinas Layered Skirt, $182; NOW: $91. Your new go-to party skirt

Ksubi Strapless Jump Suit, $224; NOW: $156.80. Pair this jumpsuit with chunky necklaces, stacks of bangles, and wooden wedges for an updated groovy style.

Matt Bernson KM Gladiator Special, $169. I have these and so trust me when I say they go with everything. I literally live in them during the spring and summer.

Ksubi Skinny Pins Jeans, $234.50; NOW: $164.15. A perfectly distressed pair of go-to skinnies.

Crispin & Basilio Arch-Ed Vest, $392. Layer this sleek vest over just about anything to inject a sexy, androgynous-chic flavor.

DISCOUNT CODE: Take 20% off ALL purchases at IM-HM.com with the code 20panm01 (offer lasts until June 30th).

Happy shopping!

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Must-Have Hats

Sabrina Alexis — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 23:35:09 +0000

Hats are often the forgotten accessory and even though they can have such a big impact on your look. While notas significant now as they were way back when, hats are still key components to any wardrobe. What’s amazing to me is how persevering hats are and the fact that the same styles have been reinterpreted from one generation to the next. I mean, something like the fedora is associated with anything from middle-class working men in the early 1900’s to gangsters and detectives of the 40’s to Michael Jackson to modern day hipsters.

Hats allow you to go in all sorts of directions with your look and the same outfit can go from sweet and sophisticated to rebellious and edgy with the simple switch of hat. Top off your look with a cute cloche when you want to summon the roaring 20’s, with a beret for a dose of Parisian-chic, with a slouchy beanie for laid-back look, and so on. Use a hat to tone down an amped up style or add that little something extra to a subdued one. The point is, hats can help take your look in whichever direction you chose- just check out the celebs pictured above for hat-inspiration galore!

Now that we’ve learned what hats can do, let’s check out some of the must-have styles.

Deena and Ozzy Straw Top Hat, $28. Adorable yet slightly irreverent, I love it!

Asos Bowler Hat, $34. There’s something to be said about a style that has been around since the 1800’s.

Plush Barca Slouchy Hat, $48. The perfect way add in a dose of street-chic.

Staring at Stars Short Brim Straw Floppy, $28. Your go-to hat on those bright and sunny days.

American Apparel Cotton Beret, $20. Add an instant shot of chic and color with on swoop.

Juicy Couture Sequin Beret, $65. A great way to bring a bit of glam into your everyday style.

Goorin Brothers Pinstripe Fedora Hat, $44. A pinstripe fedora will never get old, seriously. Never. tobi

Forever 21 Felt Floral Cloche Hat, $14.80. An updated take on a timeless style.

- SABRINA ALEXIS

Splash image by Santina Amendola

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Ask a Guy: Am I Being Needy?

Eric Charles — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:00:32 +0000

I’ve been talking to this guy for a couple months now. When we first started talking, he was always the one to text me first and ask me to hangout.

Lately though, I always have to text him first, and it takes him FOREVER to reply and sometimes he doesn’t even reply at all unless I text him more than once. I also have been having to make all the effort to hangout and sometimes when we make plans to hangout, he’ll just bag out last minute.

I know this makes it sound like he doesn’t like me, but he keeps telling me that he does. Also, when I do text him or when he texts me (very rare), he still calls me “babe” and stuff.

Am I being needy by texting him all the time? Should I lay off and wait for him to make more effort?

The short answer is: Yes, you are acting needy.

I first covered this topic in “Decoding Male Behavior: A Guy’s Take on Neediness,” where I talked in-depth about how acting needy at the very start of the relationship can drive men away screaming.

The article turned out to be one of the most popular dating/relationship advice posts I have written for the site to date.

However, based on some of the comments I feel like there is still confusion regarding when a woman is acting “needy” and when she’s not. So here is the guiding question when it comes to neediness: Did he break a specific promise he made to you about a specific event at a specific time?

I am not talking about a guy saying, “Oh yeah, I’ll text you back within an hour as long as I see it.” That’s a generalized promise and probably a “promise” a guy would make only after a girl pressured him into saying it.

I’m talking about a specific promise: “I will meet you here at such-and-such a time.” That is a specific promise.

If a guy breaks a specific promise to you, then you have every right to be upset. After all, he said he was going to do something and then he didn’t.

But if you’re getting all hung up because a guy isn’t acting in some particular way and it’s making you feel insecure, nervous, or worried, that is absolutely neediness.

And it’s incredibly annoying to guys… we can’t stand it. There is nothing more annoying than trying to go about our lives and do everything we want to do, only to have to drop everything and respond to a text message because some girl we just started seeing needs attention and reassurance.

I realize that I sound a little harsh here, but it’s the truth and I feel like the most helpful thing I can do is be honest, even if that means being brazenly blunt.

In this situation, you’re allowing him to act that way by accepting it. It’s unfortunate (and it applies to both men and women), but people will only put as much value on you as you put on yourself. If you accept being treated like an option that can be discarded at the last minute, then that is how he (and other guys) will treat you. On the other hand, if you keep your life filled with options, you won’t be so hung up on what he does. (I go into great detail about this in the article “Ask a Guy: The Less I Care, The More He Seems To.”)

Now in terms of him calling you “babe” and saying he likes you- first off, whatever you’re doing to force him into reassuring you that he likes you… stop doing it. Guys get tired really fast of having to reassure a girl that they actually like them. Plus it makes us wonder what’s wrong with you if it’s so hard for you to believe we like you!

I actually had to break the habit of calling girls pet-names like “babe” or things similar to that. I would say it as a habit and to show appreciation, but the women often misinterpreted it as me being really into them, like they were my one and only special someone (meanwhile I had handfuls of girls I was calling “babe” and whatnot.)

My point is, it doesn’t matter what pet-names he calls you or whether or not he says how much he likes you. If you are smothering him with “needing” him to reassure you and text you back constantly, you will drive him away. The right move in this situation is to back off, keep your life filled with fun and exciting options and give him space to put in the effort and pursue you. This isn’t being manipulative – guys actually like to pursue women (to a point) and we appreciate having the space to do so (and not being smothered).

If you do this, you’ll have much better luck, I’m sure of it.

Hope it helps.

- eric charles

Got a question? Send it to askaguy@anewmode.com and we’ll get you some answers! (Note: Please keep your questions short and concise, with a descriptive title – thanks!)

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Look We Love: Going Nude

Sabrina Alexis — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 15:30:54 +0000

While I, like many, love wearing black, in the past year I have found love on the other end of the spectrum with beautiful nude and neutral shades. And here’s a little fun fact: Neutrals actually have the same slim-down effect as their dark counterparts and going light head-to-toe can smooth out any rough patches and can make you appear longer and leaner.

In addition to being figure-friendly, neutral shades are also high versatile and have an ethereal quality that can’t help but make you feel pretty. As is the case with black, there are countless ways to wear your neutrals.

You can keep clean and simple by forgoing the accessories like Kate Bosworth, who let her blush-colored Calvin Klein dress stand alone, or use your nude backdrop as a foundation for fun jewelry pieces, like Nicole Richie who accesorized her chic L’Wren Scott sheath with piles of fun pieces from her House of Harlow line.

Take the monochrome route with nudes head-to-toe (a major trend for Fall 2010, fyi) or contrast these soft shades with darks or brights. I personally love juxtaposing soft neutrals with tough pieces (think biker boots, bomber jackets, boyfriend blazers, chunky knits patterned tights and so on), like Taylor Momsen who teamed an ethereal slip-dress with a pair of Giuseppe Zanotti biker boots. The most imortant thing to remember is to stay true to your personal style and wear your nudes in a way that makes you feel comfortable and confident.

As we transition from winter to spring, I think it’s time that we all brighten up with some stunning neutral shades.

Elizabeth and James Luna Dress, $375 (seen on Hayden Panettiere). Such a fun, easy-to-wear style that is extremely figure friendly.

Nanette Lepore Kartika Mini Dress, $378; NOW: $246. A touch of beading gives this nude dress a boho twist.

Rachel Pally Beach Dress, $180. You’ll reach for this time and time again during the spring and summer.

Kimchi Blue Chiffon Slip Dress, $68. I love this sweet, ballerina-esque style. Toughen it up with a leather jacket or oversized blazer or leave it sweet with a soft, lightweight cardigan.

Alice + Olivia Jesse Jersey Dress with Sequin Top, $440. The sequins transform this number into a bonafide standout.

Twenty8Twelve Helnwein Cotton Stripe Top, $225. A cool take on a classic style.

MM Couture Drapey Wrap Dress, $75. The perfect year-round piece,. Wear it over a bikini in the summer and with a blazer and tights during the cooler months.

VPL Fractional Tee, $195. So obsessed with the relaxed, slouchy fit.

Vero Moda Relaxed Fit Dinner Jacket, $85. The pale-pink blazer is definitely unexpected and will inject new life into any outfit.

7 For All Mankind Roxanne Skinny Slimmer Jeans, $225. Swap your go-to black skinny jeans with these faded, distressed ones for a fun and fresh style.

- SABRINA ALEXIS

Splash image by Santina Amendola

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Ask a Guy: How Can I Become More than a Booty Call?

Eric Charles — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:00:05 +0000

I was at a bar last weekend and ran into a guy I graduated with a few years ago. We talked for a while and had a really great conversation, but my friends had to leave rather abruptly so the conversation was cut short. We got each others numbers and around 4 AM he texted me saying that he wished the night didn’t have to end so soon.

Fair enough, but then he sent a few more texts, really adamantly wanting us to hang out… obviously a booty call. We didn’t end up hanging out, but I did really have a great conversation with him and I feel like something good could come out of it.

Do you think there is any salvaging this?

OK, this is a good question, although I can almost anticipate that some people will crucify me for my answer. Still, to all the readers out there, hear me out. I think this could actually be salvaged.

Here’s my reasoning:

On the surface, he was clearly texting you at 4 AM for the textbook booty-call. When it comes to dating advice columns, that is almost always a death-sentence for a potential second meeting. In fact, most dating “advisers” would be more likely to recommend castration than a second date if a guy tries something like this right away (man-hating jerks that they are.)

I look at it like this: You both were drinking, you kind of knew each other, you hit it off, you had a great conversation and the goodbye left you both wanting more.

I can completely understand where the guy is coming from on this. It’s the weekend and he meets an attractive girl. Obviously he’s going to want to spend more time with her to see if it goes anywhere.

That’s not being a bad guy. That’s called just being a GUY!! (Sometimes I get all wound up thinking about how society is so quick to judge men for wanting sex. It’s natural.)

And again:

1) It’s a weekend night
2) He’s attracted to you
3) You were both drinking
4) He’s a guy… and guys like sex. Period.

Every time that I’ve picked up a girl, I’ve tried to take it as far as it can go. I’m a complete gentleman about it and my approach is always lighthearted, enjoyable and respectful, but frankly, if I’m romantically interested in a woman, then sex and desire is part of the equation. I have no shame about that and I have no reason to mask or sugarcoat it.

You said that his text messages came off as awkwardly adamant which I personally would attribute to is inexperience. He probably hasn’t quite learned not to drunk text a girl he’s interested in or maybe he has learned but was too drunk to be able to stop himself. In short, I do think his game sucked, but you didn’t say anything that led me to believe he’s a bad guy.

There would be red flags if he got angry at you, if he pressured you on some level (saying something like this is your only chance, etc.), or if he insulted you in some way for not wanting to hang out at 4 AM.

But him wanting to see you? I would just call that a healthy sex drive.

It sounds to me like there is a mutual attraction there. And the fact that you had a great conversation shows that there could be something there (once he learns to get his urges under control).

If you were one of my close female friends, I wouldn’t stop you from going for it. I would say add him on Facebook or send him a quick text, something to show that you’re still interested despite his drunken texting. If you do that, he’ll most likely set up some kind of date or opportunity to hang out. Then, hang out and see where it goes… without getting too boozed up.

Hope it helps,