A Mommy Story

Mira's Turning Five - Everybody Jump, Jump!

2012-05-21T08:37:00.002-04:00

Had Mira actually followed directions, today would have been her birthday. Her due date was May 21, and I had hoped she'd be one of those rare babies born on her due date, continuing a family tradition of being born on the 21st of a month.

Instead, she decided to wait nearly a week to make her entrance so I could endure anxiety over another c-section (she was a VBAC, meaning I was required to go into labor without medical help) and enjoy one more week of being enormously pregnant and spending my nights in the recliner trying to find some small shred of comfort so I could sleep.

She was then born on Memorial Day weekend, ensuring she could never have a successful birthday party on her birthday, because everyone has plans for the holiday weekend. It wasn't hard for the first few years - we invited only close friends and family to our house. But this year she's turning five, and after all of the invites to her classmates parties at different party houses around the city, Mira wanted a special party of her own.

So even though she isn't turning five until next Sunday, she had her big party this weekend at a bounce house facility. (Imagine a big warehouse filled with all sorts of inflatable things to bounce on and slide down.) This was our first adventure at having a party somewhere other than our house, and it went really well.

I had a lot of anxiety leading up to the party, most of which is due to my own issues with birthday parties. As a kid, I had just one party. I invited all of my class, planned out games and food, and wanted it to be a big, fun time. And then no one from my class showed up. The only other person close in age to me who was there was my best friend, who lived two doors down. I was heartbroken that no one in my class wanted to come to my party, and I've never had another non-family birthday party since. If it wasn't for my best friend showing up, I might have given up on the idea of celebrating birthdays entirely.

Hours before Mira's party, I started to feel that tightening in my chest. What if no one shows up? A few of her classmates had already RSVP'd that they weren't coming, and several didn't respond at all. We had three confirmed to attend, but I worried they'd back out at the last minute.

(PSA to all parents: please RSVP to any invites your kid receives. We had limited space and could have invited more kids if people would have responded to us.)

Thankfully, all three showed up, along with several kids from our close friends. We were well short of the 25 kid maximum for the party, but it was still a lot of fun.

Mira, of course, LOVED being the queen of the party.

No, Mira, they're not ALL for you.

Sigh...my baby doesn't need help opening her presents anymore.

Everyone bounced and jumped and played, even the adults. Everyone ate snacks and cupcakes. I'd like to hope that every child expended enough energy to sleep well that night. (You're welcome, parents.) And like a good little hostess, Mira thanked everyone for coming and personally handed out the goodie bags at the end.

Overall I'd call it a success. Now if we could just get her to understand that she's turning five, not sixteen.

Walk With The Animals and HOOFit for Health

2012-05-18T11:47:00.002-04:00

One perk of blogging is that I occasionally get advance notice of cool, local family programs and activities. Compared to all of the emails I receive for events in New York and California, I'm thrilled when local organizations find me.

Earlier this week I was invited to come out to the zoo for the kickoff of the HOOFit program, sponsored by OhioHealth and the Columbus Zoo. The idea is simple: we're all looking for ways to keep our families healthy and fit, so why not incorporate fitness into activities we already do? The HOOFit program is a series of guided walks through the zoo this summer, where you'll be joined by an OhioHealth doctor who will discuss common health issues and answer questions as you stroll and visit the animals.

The kickoff event was a lot of fun. Several local bloggers were invited to attend, along with the media and representatives of the zoo and OhioHealth. (And I was briefly interviewed for TV - yikes!!)

@cbusmom, social-media-maven Mikaela Hunt from NBC4, and me

And we got to see Jungle Jack Hanna up close and personal. While he's a local celebrity, you may also know him from appearances on late night TV with his animal friends. (Or from his old Saturday morning TV show, long before most animal conservationists were on the media scene.)

Also? He just had double knee replacement! Understandably, he didn't walk much with us.

There were a few animal guests in attendance, too, happy to pose for photos with their fans.

Baby kangaroo! All together now: awwww.

I didn't need anyone to tell me that going to the zoo is a workout. We have an annual pass, so we like to go to the zoo frequently. Anyone who has been to the Columbus Zoo will tell you it's huge and involves a lot of walking. We rarely see all areas of the zoo in one trip, because it's just too much to take in, and because Mira will eventually slow down and remind us, "Guys! I'm tired because I have LITTLE legs!"

She's right - to start the walk we were all given a card showing the minimum number of steps you'd take going through each area of the zoo.

The guide breaks it down for small, medium, and large strides, proving the Mira's little legs really do mean she meets her daily step requirement long before we do.

HOOFit was a great reminder that some of the everyday activities we do can actually be great for promoting family fitness, too. Ask my kids to go exercise, and they'll probably groan and refuse to do it or lose interest in a few minutes. At the zoo, however, they're taking thousands of steps as they laugh and play and learn about the animals. (And it's a good excuse for me to get some activity in, too.) It's like a health activity cloaked in fun. Sneaky, eh?

This guy preferred swimming to walking.

All participants in the guided walks are given a bracelet pedometer to track your steps through the zoo. (Children will receive shoelaces instead of a pedometer.) You can sign up on Facebook to attend one of the guided walks, or if you can't make it on those dates, you can pick up a map/step chart at the zoo for your own solo walk. Strollers and people of all ages are welcome on the walks.

I'm already signed up for the next HOOFit walk on June 21 - it'll be my birthday, but starting with a great walk with the zoo animals in the morning is pretty good way to celebrate, I think.

Anyone else want to join me?

Full disclosure: I was invited to this event by OhioHealth and the Columbus Zoo. I received a t-shirt and wrist pedometer while there, and a healthy snack bag at the end of the walk. All adult participants who come for the walks can receive a wrist pedometer as well.

Setting Up A Token System

2012-05-15T08:02:00.001-04:00

In the past week I've described the token system we use for chores and good behavior for the kids to three different people, so I thought why not share it with everyone? We don't give an allowance weekly at this point because neither of our girls have a strong enough grasp of money, and because many of the things they want aren't things at all but privileges that have little to no cost to us.

We reward Cordy and Mira for good behavior and for helping around the house with doubloons. The idea was originally given to us by one of Cordy's therapists, suggesting a token system can work well for kids with high-functioning autism, as they can see a concrete reward for tasks they accomplish and then use those tokens to "purchase" the perks they want.

The idea for using doubloons came from Jake and the Neverland Pirates last fall. Cordy saw it on TV and loved how the pirates collected doubloons for solving problems throughout the show. At the same time, Cordy was obsessed with dressing as a pirate princess for Halloween. Aaron realized that would be the perfect token system, so he bought a big bag of plastic gold coins, grabbed a mug for each kid (from our renaissance festival days) and we started to plan the system.

I think they're Greek coins instead of pirate doubloons. Eh, they don't know the difference.

You can make the system as loose or rigid as you like. We're somewhere in-between. There are daily tasks that they know they earn doubloons for - these are often tasks that they have trouble remembering to do, or are difficult things we want them to master.

For example, Cordy has trouble remembering to turn off her bedroom light each morning. She gets one doubloon for remembering to do it each morning. She also has to take a pill each morning, which she doesn't like to do, so she gets a doubloon for doing that, too.

When the task can be done without reminder and without the need for a reward, we phase out the doubloon reward and find other routine tasks to reward for. They get doubloons for helping Aaron or I without complaining (like helping us load/unload the dishwasher or take out the recycling) and for assigned chores that they complete.

We also award them doubloons for good behavior. If they're playing well together, or if they spontaneously do something helpful, they can get bonus doubloons.

They keep their coins in the mugs and then use them to buy privileges. Some of the privileges they can choose from:

Extra 20 min on the computer/iPad - 1 coin
A treat of 1 piece of candy - 3 coins
Staying up an extra 30 min after normal bedtime - 5 coins
Getting fast food for dinner - 5 coins
A trip out to the zoo or another fun place (if we didn't already plan for it & time allowing) - 10 coins

Of course, anything that Aaron or I decide to offer to them doesn't cost anything. If we plan to go to the zoo one Saturday, they aren't required to pay. If they want something that isn't on our list, we can assign a doubloon value to it. Mira once wanted a Happy Napper toy, but she had no money. We set a value of 20 doubloons for it, and she saved her coins until she could cash them in to buy her toy.

We like using this system at the moment because the coins have no actual money value (other than the few dollars it cost to buy the bag of them), so they can use them for non-money privileges like extra computer time or staying up late. Many times these privileges are just as valuable to them as anything they could buy. When they're older we can move to an allowance instead of tokens, but at this age it works very well.

The system works well because it is flexible and can be adapted for nearly any family. You can set your own guidelines on how tokens are earned and cashed in, and you can adjust the rewards and tasks that earn tokens as a child grows and masters new skills. It's a fun system that lets kids earn their privileges and gives parents a chance to set non-monetary rewards for good behavior. Win-win.

We (Don't) Wear Short Shorts

2012-05-11T06:35:00.001-04:00

Now that the weather is warmer and my children have proven they've grown just enough over the winter to no longer fit in last summer's clothing, it's time for my annual disgust at clothing for girls. And really, it focuses on just one item: shorts.

I'll begin by saying my girls are not the dainty flowers who never show a drop of sweat. Oh no, they're hot, sweaty creatures who come home from summer camp each day with their sweaty hair matted to their heads. So shorts are kind of a necessary item to help keep them cool.

My problem with girls' shorts is in the length. Nearly all shorts for girls have an inseam somewhere between barely reaching the top of the thigh and indecent. Those that are slightly longer often have leg openings so wide that they might as well be loose mini-skirts, or are skin-tight bike shorts.

I love the fabric of these Children's Place shorts, but that inseam is WAY shorter than you might think!

Cordy and Mira are seven and nearly-five. (Mira won't let me forget her birthday is coming up in a few weeks.) They are not lady-like in any way. When they wear dresses, we must pair them with bike shorts or leggings, and probably will continue doing so until they're older. Like maybe eighteen.

I don't want people seeing my children's underwear. I want them to have shorts of a reasonable length that they can play in comfortably without fear of someone seeing a flash of Disney Princesses or Dora underneath. Is that really so much to ask for?

No. Way.

Apparently it is. In my search for shorts this season, I've come across very few options. When I do find "bermuda" shorts (which fit the length requirements, even though some manufacturers apparently go too far and make these nearly capris), they're often out-of-stock so quickly that I missed out on the sizes we need. I guess I'm not the only parent looking for longer shorts.

Target had some great longer shorts last year and I bought as many as I could at the time, even buying a few a size up for Cordy. We're using the larger size shorts now, but we still need more thanks to a kid who is hard on clothing. They have a new bermuda design this year, but the fabric is even heavier and the waistband is very thick - I bought a couple of them to try, but the fit isn't nearly as good as the previous ones.

Thick fabric (waist tie isn't real thank goodness), almost knee length, but otherwise not too bad.

All I'm asking for is a reasonably priced pair of knit shorts with an elastic waist (Cordy can't work zippers or buttons, and yes, we're working on it.) with a length that falls somewhere mid-thigh with a straight leg or slightly tapered shape to them.

Maybe it's time to start shopping in the boys' section?

Happy IEP Surprises

2012-05-08T08:33:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we got to spend an hour in an IEP transition meeting. While any type of meeting tied to an IEP would cause me an incredible amount of stress, this was Mira's transition meeting for kindergarten and we already had the heads up from her teacher that they were planning to discharge her from any additional support.

We knew this was going to happen and we were in total agreement. Mira entered special needs preschool two years ago because of a speech delay known as speech apraxia. She had great verbal comprehension, but her annunciation was extremely poor, to the point that no one could understand a word she said. Even as her parents, we could only interpret about 25% of what she said. When she was first evaluated, they also noticed some weakness in gross motor skills, but otherwise she was a typically developing toddler. (Read: no autism.)

Years of speech therapy made a huge difference for Mira, and now she's understood most of the time. So we weren't going to argue that she was ready for kindergarten without any need for support. But we still had to sit through the meeting to review the final assessment from her team.

Most of it was what we expected. She still has some sound substitutions when she speaks, but there's no consistency to when she does it and she didn't come close to the threshold for still needing services. Her verbal comprehension score was the highest the speech therapist had ever seen, so we know that's still going well.

Her occupational therapist said she had great fine motor control, better than many kids her age, as long as you exclude her weird pencil grip. Continuing a long family tradition, she doesn't hold her pencil properly, and her odd grip is different from any other odd grip in our family. (And all four of us hold a pencil differently, with all four ways being wrong. Ah well, thank goodness for typing!)

The physical therapist told us that Mira has improved in her balance and coordination, but still has issues. She seems to have weak ankles and continues to be plagued by invisible gremlins tripping her all the time. The kid can fall down walking across a smooth, even floor. It's possible she just has poor motor planning - or her brain is acting faster than her muscles can keep up with. Either way, she recommended Mira get more involved in physical activities to help with her balance and coordination, but that she scored high enough to no longer need their help.

The big shock came from the school psychologist. A standard part of the evaluation is a test of cognitive ability - in other words, an IQ test. She told us that Mira took a long time to complete the test, not due to any problems, but because they have to keep going in each section until she missed too many to continue.

Although apparently she took the test while wandering the room, putting her head down, resting her feet on the table, and generally wiggling all over the place. She had to bribe Mira with candy to get her to sit still, but admitted that Mira answered the questions just fine while moving all around.

I expected Mira's results to be on the high end of average, or maybe even slightly outside of average. Her teachers have praised how well she does in preschool, and we know she's a bright kid.

The psychologist covered up Mira's scores with a piece of paper and uncovered them slowly, one at a time. This confused me - why the big reveal as if we're on a game show? And let's reveal the number in the next column...

Mira's scores were amazing. She scored in the 99th percentile in all areas, or as interpreted by the psychologist: highly gifted. She was answering questions rated for kids over 8 years old. As she went through the data, it didn't feel real to me. A day later, it's finally sinking in.

I'm not trying to brag, although I'm super proud of her. The results caught me by surprise; I think I laughed out loud when she explained the scores to us. I've always thought of Mira as a smart little girl, but gifted? Apparently I was underestimating her. And like her sister, she doesn't like to show what she knows to us until she feels she's mastered it.

So the team recommended she no longer receive services for special needs, but did recommend that once she starts kindergarten we meet early with her teacher to discuss how to deal with her. She's high energy and can't sit still, needing a lot of extra work to keep her mind engaged. She's a motor mouth and bossy, even to adults. (She thinks she knows it all.) If she is corrected or told she made a mistake - even the slightest correction - she breaks into tears and doesn't want to continue what she's doing.

But she's also helpful, cheery, and loves to learn. She makes friends easily and is a master of social interaction. Her teachers adore her and love her enthusiasm in class.

We left the meeting happily surprised and confident that she's ready to tackle kindergarten as a typical student. She may be gifted, but there are no supports for that at her age, so we'll rely on working with her teacher next year to make sure she's properly challenged at school and at home.

And yeah, we're probably doomed.

Multi-tasking: Declutter AND Earn Cash

2012-05-04T08:28:00.002-04:00

At the beginning of March, I had a grand idea to get the house cleaned up, get rid of a bunch of stuff we couldn't/didn't use anymore, and make this place feel all the larger for it.

Yeah, so, then I quickly got a new job and found myself busy again. Whoops.

Of course, I'm about as happy as someone could possibly be with my job, so there's no complaining about work taking me away from my side projects. But I would like to start shifting some of my free time back to those to-do lists I created two months ago.

The guest room pile o' stuff that needs sorted and (most of it) removed.

To go along with that idea, this is also the season where money gets tight. Mira's birthday (and birthday party) is at the end of this month. Aaron, my mother and I all have birthdays in June. And of course summer camp costs are hanging over us, reminding me why we don't pay for private school during the school year.

So I'm combining tasks to get rid of things and hopefully get a little extra money in the process. I do not have the patience for a garage sale; when we've done them in the past, I just got angry at how little people were offering for already freakishly cheap stuff. I'm also not a fan of Craigslist because I get nervous about having people show up at my house if I might be the only one at home.

In Columbus, we have several used clothing and home goods stores that accept gently used products and pay out cash for them. In other cities, consignment stores might be the way to go. I prefer the cash on the spot places because I don't want to risk the items coming back to my house, and don't want to wait forever to find out if they sold or not.

I'm fairly experienced at turning some of our old junk into money, so I thought I'd share my strategy for getting a little extra cash in exchange for freeing my house of junk, just in case you ever thought about trying it yourself:

1. Sort the stuff you don't want. Anything in good condition - free of stains and tears, no missing parts, and no serious signs of wear - goes in one pile. Anything beyond use is immediately thrown away. Everything else gets itemized and boxed up for a donation to Goodwill.

Remember: donations are still money for you, even if it takes awhile. If you keep track of what you donate and get a receipt, you can use it for a deduction on your taxes.

2. Polish up all of those items in your good condition pile. A few minutes of ironing, dusting, and wiping down your items can increase your chances of it being accepted and possibly even increase how much you're offered for it. Any clothing should be clean, folded and free of lint or pet hair. Anything with accessories or extra parts should have the parts bundled together to keep them from getting lost. Check the requirements for the store you're going to - some won't accept items in boxes or bags and request fabric bins or plastic baskets.

3. Drop off your items. At the stores here in Columbus, you can wait in-store or stop back later in the day or the next day to see the results. You'll probably have to sign an agreement for them to look over your items and free them from any liability should anything happen to your items while they're looking them over. It's mostly just a formality - any reputable place will keep your items behind the counter or within eyesight to keep others from picking through your goods.

Depending on how many others have dropped off items before you, there may be a wait to get your stuff evaluated. You'll likely be given a receipt or some other way to link you to your stuff so there's no confusion.

4. Get your offer. The stores I've gone to will separate the items they'd like to buy in a different basket. They show you the items and give you a total for what they'd like to buy. If you have questions about how much they're offering for any single item, just ask. If you're content with the offer, you'll sign an acceptance form and be given your cash. If you're at an consignment store, you'll be shown which items they want to display in the store - you won't get any money until an item sells.

Note: Don't expect a lot of money. It'll be better than a yard sale offering, but probably less than Craigslist. Usually you'll get anywhere from 1/6 to 1/10 the original price of the item. But you also don't have to write up an ad for each item, take photos of it, or sit out in your garage in the heat all day while someone asks you if you have change for a $20 so they can buy your Jonas Brothers CD for ten cents.

5. Take the unwanted stuff and immediately get rid of it. There will probably be some things that the store doesn't want. There are lots of reasons for this - out of season, no demand, they already have five of them etc. Don't fall into the trap of taking it back home and letting it sit around more - grab a bag or a box, make a list of the items and then drop it off at Goodwill or another charity organization. You didn't want it in the first place, right? Then why take it back home to clutter up your house again? Get rid of it, get your charity receipt, and plan to add it to your tax deductions next January.

I've used this routine several times to get rid of kid clothing that both girls have outgrown. Just last week I dropped off a basket of clothing, a few DVDs the girls no longer watch, and some baby board books to Once Upon A Child (one of the kid resale shops here) and received $51 for it.

I only put an hour of work into cleaning out drawers, sorting and selecting items - not a bad return on my time, and that's another basket's worth of stuff out of our house!

In the next week, my goal is to begin cleaning out my closet and getting rid of all of the clothing that no longer fits me. I have several nice dresses, blouses and dress pants that might earn a little money, and I'll be thankful to have more hangers available for the clothing I DO wear!

School Lottery: You Have To Play To Win

2012-05-02T09:55:00.000-04:00

Or, like the real lottery, you play and still don't win.

I'm learning that my kids certainly didn't get the luck of the Irish when it comes to school lotteries. When Cordy was entering kindergarten, we applied for the school lottery to keep her at the school where she attended pre-K, knowing it wasn't her home school but was a good fit for her. We were allowed to lottery for up to three schools, and so I picked two others that had a curriculum that might work for her.

That year, she didn't get any of her three choices. It was only through an IEP loophole that the school principal made it possible for Cordy to stay at her current school, which has overall been a good place for her.

As much as I try to deny it, Mira will be starting kindergarten next year. (WHERE DID THE YEARS GO?) We had the lottery option again, and chose to select three schools for her. One of the choices - and really our top pick - was Cordy's school. It only made sense to have them both at the same school, so I would no longer have to coordinate two different school arrivals and then wait an entire hour between bus drop offs in the afternoon. One pickup, one drop off = simple.

Just to be safe, we also listed two other schools in the district with excellent reputations. Our assigned home school is OK, but doesn't have the academic report card and word-of-mouth recommendations that the other schools do. One of the other choices was a school close to Cordy's, so at least they'd be close to each other if not at the same school.

I convinced myself that this was just a formality and Mira would likely be accepted to Cordy's school. After all, the district does state that they have sibling preference as some part of the lottery algorithm.

Proving that my daughters should avoid any games of chance in their lives, the letter arrived last month stating that Mira did not get a spot in any of the schools we tried for. She was so far down on the wait list for each school that they'd have to accept two new classes of kindergarteners before she might even be considered. In other words: no chance at all.

I'm disappointed. Having both girls attend the same school was my ideal option. Not only because it's an excellent school with teachers and administrators I like and respect, but also because it would have been amazingly convenient for me. If I needed to pick them up, they'd be in one location. There would be only one bus schedule to follow.

If Mira attends our assigned school, it means my kids are on opposite ends of Columbus for the school day, making picking both of them up at the end of the school day impossible without cloning myself or developing transporter technology.

But unlike Cordy's loophole, there really isn't a loophole for Mira. She's not already attending Cordy's school, and she won't have an IEP. I'll keep exploring all options, but everything at the moment points to me accepting disappointment. I can't take Cordy out of her school - the disruption would be very hard on her - but there's no way to get Mira closer to her short of moving to a house closer to Cordy's school. (Which we've considered, if it wasn't for that whole housing market crash.)

I'll attempt to plead with the principal to see if she knows of any way to make it happen. With Cordy it was easy - the principal and all of the staff were enchanted with her, so they wanted her there. Maybe I'll take Mira with me to talk to her. Then again, considering Mira and her bossy nature, maybe leaving her at home would be best.

Personal Check-In (In Case You Wanted To Know)

2012-04-30T09:01:00.001-04:00

What I've been watching lately:

Once Upon A Time - Fantastic fairy tale drama. If you haven't seen it yet, wait for a marathon on ABC and get it all at once, so you don't have to suffer a week between episodes like me.

Sherlock - If you haven't seen this BBC show yet, fire up Netflix and watch the first season. I've already watched both the first and second seasons and I'm now re-watching the first season. Ladies, I guarantee you'll start out thinking the guy who plays Sherlock is kinda funny looking, but by the end of it you'll think he's downright sexy in his own way.

Political ads - I'm not at all happy about this. There are months left until elections, and I'm ready to petition to move it up sooner to get rid of the ads. My Tivo is on overdrive right now - I'll even sit in silence for 30 minutes to wait for a program to record so I can then skip past the commercials.

What I've been listening to lately:

Gotye's "Somebody That I Used To Know" - is anyone else as obsessed with this song as I am? I now have three different versions of it on my playlist. Including this amazing adaptation (thanks for pointing them out, Erin!):

Nicki Minaj's "Starships" - total guilty pleasure here. I don't want to admit I like her at all, but this song makes me want to dance and feel happy.

Way too much whining from my two kids - they sometimes make going out to do anything fun a real drag. We went to a Viking Festival yesterday, expecting to have fun. They saw the bounce house and could do nothing but sulk and whine about it, keeping us from enjoying everything else. When they finally started to behave better and earned a turn in the bounce house, they immediately began whining and begging for ice cream. So we left. The end. Moral of the story? Find a babysitter more often.

Construction noise - I'm so thankful that I'm no longer working night shift, because if so this little blog would suddenly have posts in all caps with no punctuation and probably no real words. The community directly behind us has started work on leveling the land for a huge apartment development. They were supposed to be single family condo homes, but thanks to the market and a paid-off city council (it's apparently legal to promise the council money towards a park and new bridge that the city can't pay for in exchange for a yes vote) they're now building giant apartment buildings on the other side of my backyard. It's loud. Very loud. And only beginning, guaranteeing no chance of moving from our house for at least, well, forever.

What I've been feeling lately:

Sick - I started last week with a UTI, forcing a quick trip to urgent care and now a strong regimen of antibiotics, and then ended the week with a cold, courtesy of Mira. I've been foggy headed and drugged up for the past seven days, making me very unhappy and not that pleasant to be around. I hope two illnesses in one week buys me at least a few weeks of health.

Nostalgic - Mira has suddenly found her singing voice, and just like her speaking voice, chooses to use it nonstop. However, I can't bring myself to ask her to stop after countless repetitions of "You Are My Sunshine" because it's adorable. She sings from the heart, reminding me of how fearless I was in showing off my talents as a kid, too. I'd put together elaborate song and dance routines and force my family to watch. Mira knows she's awesome and doesn't hesitate to shout it to the world. When did I lose that fearlessness?

Unsettled - This sounds negative, but it really isn't. It's the feeling I get when I'm suddenly possessed with the urge to do something new. Something creative. It's building, but the spark hasn't hit yet, so I'm left waiting for the feeling to reach the peak and find out what direction it will go. Maybe I'll get back to sewing again, maybe the writing bug will hit in full force, maybe it'll be something entirely new. I don't like this nagging feeling of something being wrong, but I know that once it finally resolves, something fantastic will hopefully come out of it.

What I've been eating lately:

Baby carrots - I didn't realize that when you buy a giant pack of baby carrots for your kids from Costco, there's a 75% chance that your kids will suddenly no longer like baby carrots. So the dog and I are doing our part to not let them go to waste, which means a side of baby carrots with nearly every meal.

Yoplait Greek cherry pomegranate yogurt - I generally dislike yogurt. But I know it's good for me (especially when taking antibiotics), so I'm often searching for a yogurt I can tolerate. This one? Delicious.

Girl Scout cookies - I'm listing this only as proof of my self-control. These cookies were purchased over two months ago, and they're still in the house. I eat them slowly, taking only one "serving" at a time. I'd like to think there's some kind of badge for that accomplishment.

What's been on my mind lately:

Costuming - Thank you for your comments on my post about my husband's costuming. I've been considering all of the advice you provided and I think the answer is I will join him in the hobby. Although I don't plan to go headfirst down that rabbit hole - more like send a flare down the hole to scout for depth and then rappel down slowly. Not sure what costume I'll do first, or how soon it'll be done.

Party planning - Mira begged for a big birthday party this year. We normally never invite anyone except close friends and family, but she wanted to invite her class. She's been to half a dozen birthday parties for those kids, so we agreed and she'll now be having a big party with kids I barely know. We were smart and decided to not host it at home, but that still means getting invites together for over 20 kids and planning out the logistics of this party.

Budgeting - A smaller income equals a tighter budget. Suddenly I'm back to reading frugal blogs and clipping coupons each week as our checking account drops dangerously low. Although honestly, I don't mind it that much. Sure, I'd love to go buy something without any concern for cost, but the trade off is that Aaron and I are both currently working in jobs we love, so I'm willing to set aside some of my wants for happiness. Besides, that stuff would probably just create more clutter to stress me out anyway.

What I've been wanting to do lately:

Home improvement - I may not be handy, but that doesn't mean I'm not dreaming of new flower beds in front of the house and a kitchen island and new paint throughout the house.

Get my hair cut - Why do I wait so long for the most basic things? Every day I look in the mirror and see my hair reaching scraggly lengths, yet I still can't find time for a simple cut? Must stop ignoring my own needs and make an appointment soon.

Laugh more - 'nuff said.

--
And that, friends, is how you write a blog post when you can't keep two connected sentences together in your head at the moment.

Adventures in Gardening

2012-04-24T07:26:00.006-04:00

Three weeks ago, my friend Judith offered me a few seedlings from her vast garden beginnings. She has the touch with green things that I could only dream of having. She offered me several varieties, but I only took a small collection of cilantro, cucumbers, and peppers.

Oh, I wanted more - I have grand dreams of a big garden, providing my family with fresh vegetables, all grown by me. I did it one year, and while the yield was disappointing and I did kill, well...many of the plants, I felt like I learned a lot from the experience and knew I could probably do a lot better the next time.

But I also know that I can't even keep my grass growing.

Still, trying again seemed like a good idea. So I brought home the little cups of seedlings, planning to give them all the love I could until any threat of frost had passed and they were ready to be placed in a well-tended bed of fresh soil and fertilizer.

It was warm that first week, so I set them outside during the day, placing them on our patio table to soak up some sunlight.

Mistake #1: I didn't plan for him.

who, me?

Cosmo, the dog who never climbs or jumps, apparently has quite a taste for herbs and veggies and can use magic to extend his reach to the patio table. On day one, I glanced out the back door and saw him chomping down on a plastic cup. I raced outside to take it away from him, but it was too late - he'd already eaten the tiny sweet pepper plant entirely.

I moved the cups closer to the center of the patio table, far away from his reach. Later that day, after letting him out in the backyard again, I walked past the door and saw him with another cup between his paws. This plant had not been fully eaten, but sadly it's injuries were more than it could handle and it passed away two days later.

Realizing I had a cow for a dog, I brought the others back inside and placed them on a table next to the kitchen window. I blamed Cosmo for the two early deaths, but I was committed to saving the others. It can't be that hard to keep plants alive, right?

Mistake #2: turns out, watering a plant is harder than it looks.

Too little OR too much water will kill plants. They're like Goldilocks - everything has to be just right. The cucumbers quickly gave up and opted for a quick reincarnation in some better person's garden. One cilantro plant also curled up and died.

However, despite all that, I STILL have three cilantro plants and one sweet pepper seedling that made it through the early days. And on Sunday they were given their reward: they were moved to a planter.

moving day

I even gave them potting soil that states it helps prevent damage from under- or over-watering. It's like the soil people knew I wanted to garden again this year. I'm still waiting on the Plants for Dummies line of gardening products. (Dummies brand, feel free to use me as your spokesperson. Or at least give me credit for the idea.)

The larger garden may still happen this summer, although I'll likely have to build fencing around it until we can train the dog to not eat the garden. But for now my four little survivors are hanging out in a single planter that will remain in our front yard, safe from Cosmo the bovine-canine. Now they only have to endure me.

I never would have guessed that raising plants is harder than raising children. It's a good thing my kids weren't born green.

Geeky Pursuits

2012-04-20T07:19:00.000-04:00

It's no secret that we're a family of geeks. Aaron and I met many years ago when performing at the Ohio Renaissance Festival. At our wedding, the music we used for the entrance to our reception was the Throne Room music from Star Wars. Aaron still reads comics. A lot. We love Doctor Who and several other sci-fi dramas. Our daughters have dressed up as superheroes more than once and can recognize many of the great figures in nerddom.

You get the point.

Lately, my darling husband has developed a new hobby: superhero costuming. As in, he is making costumes so he can dress up like superheroes at sci-fi or comic conventions.

this is him as Spiderman

featured on MTV's website from C2E2 this past weekend (he's the Batman on the left)

posing with a kid as Superman

I said we were a geeky family, folks. You're suddenly viewing us in a WHOLE new light now, aren't you?

When I say hobby, what I really mean is obsession. For the past six months, this subject has consumed him more than any other. He's spent much of his free time on costuming websites, message boards, and now Facebook groups. His Facebook friends have grown dramatically, and suddenly his friends list contains more strangers to me than people I know. He's even working to form a local chapter of a non-profit group that sends out members dressed as superheros to visit sick kids in hospitals, participate in charity events, etc.

There are some upsides. His costumes look very good, and it's motivated him to work out more to look good in them, too. Spandex is unforgiving. He gets lots of praise and attention for the costumes, which I'm sure is a self-esteem boost. Choosing to do charity events to bring a smile to sick kids makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and love him even more for his generous heart.

So what in the world am I getting at in this post?

As geeky as we are as a family, this costuming thing is driving me nuts.

I fully supported him when he started it. He's always been a comic fan, so it was a natural extension of his interests. But as it developed into an obsession, well, I've felt left behind. As he sits on the couch each night, his eyes are glued to message board and his costuming Facebook groups. His Facebook page is almost entirely about costuming now.

When he's working on a new costume, he's consumed with wanting to get it done and anything that gets in the way leaves him grumpy and irritable. And then there are the women who are really into costuming, too, who get a little too touchy, close or clingy with him at conventions. I try not to get jealous, however I'd be lying if I didn't admit it puts a stress on our relationship.

But there's also this: he wants me to join in and dress up with him.

Many years ago, I used to design and make costumes. I used much of my graduation money from college to purchase a very fancy computerized sewing machine that can do everything except make you coffee and sew the damn thing for you. I made renaissance costumes for friends and for myself. I was good enough that people even bough some from me. At one time I was working on a Master's degree in costume design.

(Another surprise for you? Yeah, this onion has LOTS of layers. It's like you never knew me, right? And hey, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up!)

After having kids, though, sewing dropped off the radar. It was a hobby I no longer had time for and since we no longer performed at the renaissance festival, there wasn't a need to make new costumes. Work and a screaming, colicky baby who turned into a grumpy, tantrum-prone toddler kept me away from scissors, needles and thread. Probably good to keep me away from pointy things, considering my mood at the time.

I haven't used that fancy sewing machine in six years. So when Aaron asked me to help in making his costumes, I resisted due to forgetting many skills. Also: I'm busy. Work, kids, getting this house decluttered - when do I have time for sewing?

But asking me to dress up, too? I'm just not sure what to do. I know he really, really wants me to do it. He thinks it would be a fun hobby to do together (he'd love to get the kids dressed up, too) and continually suggests characters I could become. He's even enlisted the help of his Facebook friends to brainstorm ideas for me of characters I've never even heard of.

I feel pressured, though. I'm not nearly as into this idea as him, and I'm already annoyed at how much time (and money) he sinks into it. As it is, we have so many other things that need to get done first that I don't have time to think about hobbies. And I don't want to spend all of my free time going to conventions in costumes - I want us to do a lot of different activities as a family. Maybe even see the sunshine once in awhile. I also am a little more shy and don't necessarily like everyone looking at me.

We've discussed the issue already, and Aaron concedes he's been a little obsessed and needs to cut back on his hobby. It can't take up all of his spare time, and beyond hobbies there are still a lot more responsibilities we need to devote more time to as well. He's agreed to cut back and try to give more focus to the home and other family activities.

But he'd still like me to join him when he does dress up. I don't know what to do at this point. My irrational mind worries that if I don't meet him halfway and participate that he'll continue down that path without me and eventually we'll be two people with drastically different interests who have nothing in common. (Can I follow an idea to the dramatic, extreme end or what?)

I'm not against the idea...I'm just not excited about it, probably because I already resent how much time and energy this hobby has absorbed. I'm not going to ask him to stop entirely, either - that's just silly, and I do support the charity work he wants to do with it. There just needs to be balance. And boundaries.

I don't know if participating only to support my husband and his interests would possibly lead to having a lot of fun in the process, or if my lack of passion would only make me resent it?

They don't cover these kinds of issues in the imaginary marriage handbook. If your spouse has a hobby he's passionate about and wants you to get involved so you can share it together, do you go along with it even if you're not as interested? What do you think?

Nothing Says Vacation Like Hard Labor

2012-04-13T09:02:00.000-04:00

The end of spring break is in sight, but oh it's been a rough week. While we did get out of the house one day, I couldn't sacrifice more of my work schedule for further outings. Besides, my odds for losing a child had already proven to be high, so I didn't want to risk it again.

So by Wednesday at exactly 8:32am, the rounds of "I'm bored!" started, along with constant chatter directed at me while I was trying to focus on the computer. I offered them snacks, games, and whatever movies we owned or Netflix had online that they wanted to watch if they would just let me have a little time without needing me. And they took me up on all of them, and then still continued to express their boredom.

By 10am, I was desperate. So (with suggestions from others) I invented a new game: clean the house! Some families go to a beach for spring break; we do hard labor.

Amazingly, the kids seemed excited by it.

Both Cordy and Mira have chores they're expected to do, but the tasks are limited. Turn off your bedroom lights, put your clothing away, clear your dishes off the table, let the dog out, etc. But neither have really participated in routine cleaning around the house.

I wrote up a quick list of what they could do with limited supervision from me. It was a surprisingly short list. Ah well, even 30 minutes would be a help for me.

And then? I put them to work.

They scrubbed the lower kitchen cabinets:

They took out the recycling. Mira dusted around the TV. They picked up toys and books in their rooms. I even showed Cordy how to mop:

Excuse the blurry photo and messy kitchen.

Surprisingly, the best time-waster chore was asking Mira to take the laundry out of the dryer and put it on my bed. She took one or two items out at a time, so she had to make a lot of trips back and forth. Best. idea. ever.

Cordy did exclaim at one point that she felt like Cinderella, being forced to scrub and mop. She tried to say she felt like a slave, too, but I shut down that direction of thought. For a kid who has very few responsibilities, she has no right to claim we're treating her like a slave.

Did they do a fantastic job cleaning? Not really. Sure, everything is a little bit cleaner, but the point was to keep them busy and get them interested in helping out more around the house. And I still had to oversee a lot more than I had planned, but hopefully that means I won't have to oversee as much in the future.

Despite the Cinderella comparisons (which actually just made them sing Cinderella songs while they scrubbed), I think they did enjoy helping out. Mira asked for more to do on Thursday and I had to scramble to think of more chores.

I think I'd still prefer to have a cleaning service if I could ever have it, but I have to admit these two are much cheaper. They work for beans. Jelly beans.

Spring Break Madness

2012-04-11T07:48:00.004-04:00

If you've noticed how quiet I've been this week, I have two words for you: spring break. I used to think that working night shift and sleeping during the day while the kids were home was difficult, but it turns out trying to work from home during the day while they're home is even harder. Like, near impossible.

Monday was filled with "I'm bored" as I silently cursed that school has to give them a full week off at a time. As I tried to get work done, I reached new lows in bribing the kids to entertain themselves. They were given full control of the TV, they were allowed extra computer time, and I nearly gave in to every food demand just to buy some peace and quiet.

Yesterday I cried uncle, put in a few intense hours of work that morning, and then ordered the girls into the car to meet up with friends in Dayton. Our friends were on spring break, too, so we met halfway and went to the Boonshoft Museum of Discovery. Cordy and Mira have been once before, but this was my first time. It's a very cool children's museum that focuses on science and nature, with a lot of fun thrown in, too.

My one complaint with the museum is that it is two floors with a very open floor plan, meaning kids can easily run from one area to another, but with plenty of walls and nooks to lose sight of your children in an instant. If you're a parent who has to always have your child in view, I'd highly recommend taking any anxiety meds before you go.

There's also a playground area with a climbing net that goes from first to second floors, and a giant twisty slide that goes back down to the first floor.

The net - I saw some brave parents trying to climb this thing, too.

The stairs are nearby, which means when you see your child climb to the second floor, then lose sight of them, you climb the stairs to find them only to get to the top, look everywhere, and then peer over the rail to see them back downstairs. By the time you get down the stairs - they're up again. No amount of waiting for them to return to one level will make it happen, but a trip up or down the stairs will magically change their position to the other floor. It's exercise for the adults.

It only took five minutes after arrival for me to lose one of my kids. We met with friends, Mira had to use the bathroom, so I left Cordy with our friends at the exhibit right inside the door, telling her to stay with them and I'd be right back. When I came back, I quickly found my friend and her kids, but couldn't find Cordy. The exhibit only had one way in or out, and she was nowhere to be found.

There was a Staff Only door at the other end of the exhibit and for a moment I worried Cordy had decided to ignore the sign. But just then a voice came over the intercom, "Would Christina please come meet Cordy at the Admissions desk?" I looked at everyone in the exhibit, sighed, "That would be for me." and went out to the desk. Not 20 feet away from where I was, on the other side of a wall, was Cordy, smiling and waving at me.

"I thought you were gone forever so I asked for help!" she said. I thanked the museum staff and gathered my child, completely embarrassed.

The remainder of the day was less exciting. My two kids made sure to never play together to keep me on my toes, constantly checking to make sure no one had wandered somewhere they shouldn't. Cordy mostly played by herself, while Mira made friends with every other kid and developed elaborate games with them.

Heeey, itza me, Cordy the plumber!

Mira as judge. The scariest photo you may ever witness.

At the end of the day we had one final moment of drama. I was in the little-kids area chatting with my friends, and thanks to a wall hiding me from the main view, Cordy couldn't find me again. It was nearly time to go home, so I went looking for her and found her near tears in the playground area. She hugged me and cried, "I couldn't find you anywhere! I thought you'd left me!I was trying to find my way back to the front to ask for help again." Apparently she's really convinced I'm trying to get rid of her.

Note to self: keep an eye on this kid everywhere you go, or you will always be that parent being announced over the intercom.

(Mira, of course, hadn't seen me in over half an hour and had no concerns whatsoever. I could have left her there until the end of the day and come back to find her still playing and complaining that I was interrupting time with her new friends.)

Overall it was a lot of fun, and succeeded in tiring them out enough for me to get some work done when we got back home. Although I was pretty tired, too.

Unfortunately, I can't do that every day this week, so today we're back to creative endeavors at home. Maybe I'll teach them to clean the house today?

Autism Awareness and Defining the Child

2012-04-04T10:47:00.000-04:00

I knew that Monday was autism awareness day, and I even briefly considered writing something specifically for it. But then life and work got in the way, along with my own stubbornness at feeling obligated to write about a topic just because it's a designated day and others are doing it. (Yes, I'm rebellious towards the dumbest things.)

The truth is, I didn't really know what to say. My family has a child with autism. One day of awareness, wrapped in a month of awareness is awesome, but around here it's an everyday thing.

Way back when I started this blog, I had no idea Cordy would be diagnosed with autism. I knew what it was, vaguely, but had little personal experience. Our autism indoctrination was then intense from ages three to five, a time when we wondered what the future might hold for our daughter, and for us. It was a frightening period as we witnessed just how different our child was from others, and endured several difficult therapies to give her the best shot at a "normal" life.

Now? She's in first grade, completely mainstreamed. She reads at a third grade level and does well in her other subjects. Her transition was a little rough at the start of the year, but her teacher reports that her behavior is no worse than other kids in the class. To be honest, her behavior is better than some of the other kids - she often comes home with awards for no behavior issues for the week. Yes, she's quirky and doesn't understand a lot of social cues, but she can function in a classroom and (mostly) in public.

People still occasionally question if Cordy really has autism. While it does frustrate me to hear it (do they think we're making it up?) I'm also learning to see their opinions as a positive statement. Cordy has made so much progress that a quick meeting might convince you that she's a typical kid. Of course, the downside of this is that when her more unpleasant quirks do show themselves, the judgment from strangers and acquaintances doesn't take into account that she has autism. I guess that's where autism awareness education comes into play.

I'm rarely considered among "special needs" bloggers, because Cordy's autism is only one small part of my story. But even if I'm not on the lists, I still consider myself a special needs blogger and draw much of my own strength from reading the heartfelt posts of others. (Indeed, they're the ones who held me up when I felt like I couldn't handle it all early on.) Cordy's autism may not always be in the front of my mind, but it's a part of who she is and influences all aspects of our lives, even if it isn't routinely discussed.

Do I want people to know that Cordy has autism? Sure, as long as they don't define her only by that aspect. She's an avid reader and can rarely be found without a book in her hand. She loves soccer. When she's happy, she skips and bounces along like Tigger. She can bring a smile to nearly anyone's face. Depending on the day, she wants to be a storyteller, a cook, a seamstress, a rock star, a vet, or a journalist when she grows up. But she also insists she wants to be a mommy, too.

So yes, I think we should do our part to educate others about autism, but I believe in looking at it from a whole-person approach. This is Cordy, she has autism, but she also has a lot of really cool interests and thoughts. Her quirky collection of behaviors just happen to have a name, while the rest of us have yet to figure out what to call our quirks. (And oh, we're a quirky family, have no doubt!) Her challenges might be more than the average person, and we'll continue to do anything she needs to help her overcome or at least cope with those challenges, but she also has a wealth of talents that some could only hope to have.

In total: she's just Cordy, autism and all.

This is how she always wants to pose for photos - as a "superstar."

The Real Nutrition Problem For Our Kids

2012-03-29T08:56:00.000-04:00

Occasionally when the kids are very helpful, we treat them to a meal out. The other day it was Steak N Shake, a favorite for both Cordy and Mira thanks to the paper hats and 50's cardboard cars they can build. A favorite for me, too, for their amazing Frisco burger.

I know eating out is often not a healthy option - it's an occasional treat. But even when they order macaroni and cheese or a grilled cheese sandwich, they often choose a side dish of a fruit or veggie. Cordy is obsessed with salads, so she'll always choose a salad for her side. And Mira often asks for applesauce.

But this time, the restaurant was very busy and they brought Mira's applesauce out still sealed in it's cup. I happened to look at the label before she ate it and couldn't help but stare at what I saw.

Apples, followed by super-sweet high fructose corn syrup and then even more sugar in the form of corn syrup. What the hell? Has this country forgotten that apples are naturally sweet? They don't need to be laced with added sweeteners to convince kids to eat them.

If you want to fix the problem with nutrition for our kids, start by returning to real food. Meat that you can recognize as meat - without meat byproducts as filler. Fruit without added sugar. Foods without artificial dyes added to brighten them up. Real whole grains. Real cheese without added fillers. Ketchup made from tomatoes, spices and vinegar with almost nothing else. Fruit snacks that are actually made from fruit and not "fruit-flavored" snacks.

I'm a child of the 80's. (Well, born in the 70's but most of what I remember was from the 80's.) I grew up with some of the most artificial food out there. Popsicles that were nothing more than sugar water and a whole lot of artificial coloring. Doritos with bright orange cheese powder that stained everything. Snack cakes filled with enough saturated fat for an adult's daily intake. Sugar-filled drinks that matched the bright neon clothing we wore.

Sure, I survived it all, but I can guarantee you it didn't make me any healthier. If anything, it was a big contributor to my later obesity. I also can't be sure my diet of artificially created food didn't shave years off the end of my life, or plant the seeds for later cancers. I guess we'll have to wait and see the outcome.

We, as a society, know better now. Nutritional science has shown that natural is almost always better than man-made and we're thankfully seeing the pendulum swing towards a return to real foods.

However, the one area that is lagging behind is food geared towards our youngest and most vulnerable population, especially in the markets of restaurant foods and school lunches. Food marketed towards and produced for kids still contains higher amounts of added sugar (especially in the form of high fructose corn syrup), added fat, processed and artificial ingredients, and gallons of artificial food dyes.

Back to my original question: why does applesauce need added sugar? The answer is it doesn't, and food manufacturers should be ashamed of themselves for continuing to pump additional calories and ingredients into foods that don't need it. It's no wonder some kids would refuse to eat an apple - when your taste buds have been taught to seek out unnaturally sweeter, brighter colored foods, a naturally sweet apple probably doesn't have as much appeal.

We're letting our kids down. They deserve better than this. And not just the kids who have parents that can afford the "better" stuff - this needs to change from the top brands all the way down to the bulk products sold to schools and institutions. Walking down the aisles of your grocery store, you shouldn't have to look hard for the "natural, no added sugar" applesauce - that should be the norm.

Change is already happening. Schools are being allowed to opt out of pink slime for their government lunch programs and many parents, now being made aware of the issue, are putting pressure on their local districts to no longer use this processed meat filler. McDonald's recently changed their Happy Meals to reduce the portion of fries and automatically include apple slices. (And yes, fast food nutrition still has a long way to go, but that's a great stride forward.)

Companies aren't going to alter the way they do things without a demand for change, though, and that's where we come in. It's our responsibility not to settle for what is being served to our kids. We need to send the message to food manufacturers that we expect better and if they can't deliver we will take our money to a competitor who will put the health of our children above cheap materials. We need to keep pressuring the government to demand the highest standards for school lunches, which for many poor children are the only chance they have at a complete meal each day.

Our children are a barometer of the health of the nation. What are we seeing? An increase in allergies, obesity, asthma, ADHD, autism, behavioral issues, etc. Of course it's not all because of food, but I'd guarantee that if kids were raised on a healthier, more natural diet that the severity and incidence of these issues would be far less. My best example of this is Cordy - when kept away from artificial food coloring, she has fewer outbursts and meltdowns and is more "present" in her daily tasks. Add the dyes back in, and it's like I have a different child.

Look, I'm not trying to take away ice cream, cookies and candy. My own kids would probably stage a revolt against me if I did. I'm just asking that we consider the quality of the ingredients in our food - even the treats - and demand that our food go back to the basics. Ice cream should be milk, cream, eggs, sugar and natural flavoring. Bread should be made with whole grains and not processed, bleached flour.

I don't want to completely ban artificial ingredients and added sweeteners, but in an ideal world they would be harder to find on menus and grocery shelves than foods without them. There is a place for them, but that place isn't in nearly every food product we push towards kids.

Read the ingredient labels on your foods. If there's something on the label that you don't believe should be in that food, or even if you aren't sure why it's there, take five minutes to contact the company and tell them how you feel. Ask them to take high fructose corn syrup out of their applesauce. Ask Kraft to make their mac and cheese without FD&C Yellow #5 and Yellow #6 when the same product they make in Britain is just as brightly colored with paprika and beta carotene.

As for Mira's applesauce at Steak N Shake? I explained to her what was in it and offered to let her have a container of her natural applesauce back at home instead. She happily chose to wait until we got home for the natural applesauce.

Apple Dumplings a la Me

2012-03-27T05:54:00.007-04:00

When my old job was eliminated, one of the things I vowed to do was become more domestic. (It's back there on that giant to-do list.) In our house, my husband is the cook. Yes, I have two hands and a brain to put together food, but somewhere between gathering the ingredients and removing it from heat, I generally screw something up to make a meal inedible.

Yes, I've actually burned water, if you count leaving water to boil on the stove too long so that it all boiled off and then the pot somehow caught fire.

The one exception is baking, where I tend to be a little better with results, but it can still be hit or miss.

Last week, Ree Drummond, better known as The Pioneer Woman, was in town for a book signing for her new book, The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Food From My Frontier. A group of us gathered for dinner the night before, where I shared with Ree that I planned to use her cookbook to help me in my goal of learning to cook.

(Amy, Ree, Momo, Wenderly, and me)

When I told Cordy and Mira who I was going to see at the bookstore the next day, they insisted on coming along. Cordy has recently decided she wants to be "a sewer, a cooker, and a mom" when she grows up, and Mira echoed that she wants to be the same, but also a vet. I had planned to go alone, but since they were so excited I agreed.

Ree planned for that same small group of us to meet in private before the big signing. We got to the bookstore 45 minutes before the signing started, and already there was practically no parking and the store was jammed full of women holding Ree's book and lining up to meet her. With Cordy in tow, I was very thankful we could meet in private - she can't handle waiting in lines and crowds make her extremely anxious and flappy.

Of course, when finally given the opportunity to meet Ree and tell her how much they want to be "cookers" when they grow up, my girls clammed up. Well, Cordy was too distracted to say much more than hi, and Mira focused on Ree's necklace while placing her hand directly on Ree's boobs. Mira has a bad habit of trying to get someone's attention by reaching up and putting her hand on someone's belly, which as she's grown has now extended her reach to boobs. Insert my horror in any public situation with her here.

But they did pose nicely for a photo.

Once home, the kids begged to start making food from the book. I put it off until the weekend, and for our first experiment, I picked something to bake: apple dumplings. Baking is my stronger skill, so I wanted to ease into it.

One thing I love about Ree's book (and her blog) is the number of clear photos she has showing each step of the process. When you're domestically challenged like me, this is very, very helpful.

The first step was peeling the apples. Um, wait, how do I do that? I grabbed a knife and muddled through it, ending with most of the apple still on the core and no sliced fingers. I'll call that a success.

Aaron was better at it than me.

But when it came to coring the apples and slicing them into 8 equal slices, I turned to modern convenience:

Hey look, that's easy!

Rolling the slices into the crescent roll dough wasn't hard. Mira asked if she could help, picking it up faster than me.

Rollin', rollin', rollin'...

We poured the sauce/syrup/whatever you want to call it mixture over the rolled up apples and then put it in the oven. The result?

Clearly, this will never be a food blog & I will never be a food photographer.

I gotta admit, it smelled amazing. And tasted pretty good, too.

OK, so it took the whole family to make apple dumplings (minus Cordy, who decided she really wasn't that interested in it, but was still willing to taste test), but it was a good first start.

(Full disclosure: this isn't really a review. I bought the book myself, and while I told Ree I planned to use the book to help me cook, she wasn't expecting any kind of review. But if you ever meet her in person, you should ask her to show you what she can do with the Juicy Fruit app on her phone.)

No Answers, More Questions

2012-03-22T09:10:00.000-04:00

After all of the drama of last week's visit to the doctor and the following blood draw to test for allergies, I had hoped to report one satisfying resolution to that arc of Mira's story.

Unfortunately, life doesn't seem to resolve mysteries as in novels or neatly storyboarded television shows, with all loose ends tied up and answers revealed.

Waiting for the results, I was focused more on what kind of lifestyle changes we might have to make to accommodate Mira's allergies than anything else. What if she really was allergic to dairy and we had to go dairy-free? Or what if she had inherited the seasonal allergies of Aaron or I, but even worse, and would need to start allergy shots to bring some relief?

I didn't hear anything by Friday afternoon, so I called the office and asked about the results. The doctor we spoke with last week wasn't in the office, so one of the nurse practitioners called me back a little later with the full report.

Of the enormous list of food allergens and environmental allergens that Mira was tested for, she was allergic to...

None of them.

Wait, what?

The blood test showed no measurable allergy to anything in the test. This included about every kind of pollen, mold, and animal that she might encounter in Ohio, as well as all of the common food allergies and cinnamon. However, the nurse practitioner said the test results did show an elevated IgE level, which indicates she's having a reaction to something, we just don't know what.

The next step? Not sure yet. I have to get back in touch with the doctor to determine where to go from here. We may be seeing an allergist, or she may want further tests first. Either way, I need to make sure her symptoms aren't forgotten. Mira's flare-ups are random and she hasn't had a vomiting episode/cramping in nearly a month, but we know it'll happen again. And the eczema on her head is only slowly responding to the steroid treatment.

I'm glad this kid has such an easy-going personality. She was telling her preschool class last week about the blood draw and described it as, "It really hurt, but they weren't being mean. They were just doing what they needed to help me feel better. They weren't trying to hurt me." Mira knows there may be more testing involved, too, and while I'm sure she won't be as brave in the moment, she still says she'll be brave and knows we only want to make her feel better.

That's Mira - the kid rolls with anything life sends her way. Although she'll make sure to remind you of the story of her bravery at least once a day for the next month, usually with some parts exaggerated for dramatic flair to make her the star/hero of the story. Maybe she needs her own blog - once she learns how to write.

You'd have thought the St. Patrick's Day parade was in her honor the way she tells the story.

Operation: Clean Up...or Not

2012-03-19T08:04:00.002-04:00

So, those grand plans I had to get all kinds of things done while I was unemployed? Yeah, well, it's hard to get those done when you're offered a job a week later.

Don't get me wrong - I'm beyond THRILLED to be offered a job, and even more so because I'll be working with a dream team of people at BlogHerAds. It's only a temporary assignment at the moment, but I plan to prove myself as useful as possible to them while I'm there. Or make them realize they can't live without me. I do have some mad skillz, yo.

The grand reorganization and cleaning plan is temporarily on hold, or at best on a very extended, slow schedule. But I did already get one task accomplished. See these cups?

Yes, we could provide drinks for an army. And this photo doesn't even include the sippy cups and kid cups.

These were all the cups cluttering up our kitchen cabinets. The task was to find matching lids for all of them, followed by getting rid of all of the cups missing lids and those that were too worn out to continue staying with us.

After a couple of hours of work, I collected an entire trash bag full of plastic cups to be recycled. Some had no lids, some were lids with no cups to match, and some were older sports bottles and cups from the pre-BPA-free days.

But the results of my efforts were impressive.

What was originally a crowded mess spread across two cabinets is now one cabinet, nicely sorted into kid cups on the bottom level, sports bottles, travel mugs and cold drink cups in the middle, and collectibles on the top row. (With room for more stuff later on the top row.) Success!

Next step? Sorting all of the plastic food storage containers and lids to find matches. The plastic cups were just a warmup to that main event. It might take a few weeks. Or I might scream in frustration, throw them all out and start fresh. We'll see.

Oh, and I did finish watching all of season one of Downton Abbey. So I guess that's two things off the list.

Mystery Diagnosis

2012-03-15T09:00:00.001-04:00

Mira was supposed to be my "biologically strong" child. Cordy inherited my pale, sensitive skin. Along with autism, she also has a sensitivity to artificial food dyes, has to have her clothing in natural fibers and washed in dye-free, perfume-free detergent, requires fragrance-free lotions, burns if the sun even comes near her skin and easily develops a rash. Mira, on the other hand, is neurotypical and inherited Aaron's ability to never burn, but rather just develop an even, glowing tan as the summer progresses. She also seemed to have an iron stomach as a toddler, eating nearly anything with a preference for spicy food.

So when Mira started to develop a few strange symptoms last year, I tried to pass them off as nothing. A bit of a rash here and there, occasional bad stomach aches and other digestive issues that I won't embarrass her future teenage self by writing here. Then she had stomach aches that switched into vomiting, followed by days of practically no appetite. And the rashes continued, to the point of bleeding at times. All of these symptoms lasted a short time and then wouldn't appear for weeks.

In recent months, the rashes and stomach aches have continued. (She doesn't have them all the time - they continue to come and go in patterns of days to weeks at a time.) I had hoped they might just go away permanently with a gentle diet and plenty of lotion for sensitive skin, but nothing has helped. Then last week, a new symptom appeared: scaly patches of eczema all over her scalp. I couldn't ignore it any longer: it was time to see the doctor.

Do you know how hard it is to explain to the doctor why you're there when you have about 10 semi-related symptoms that aren't very serious when considered alone but when put together make Google tell you she could have some terrible disease? And even worse when you're a nurse and don't even need Google to tell you some of the life-altering conditions that could be diagnosed from these symptoms. I tried to calmly explain it all to the doctor, but even she seemed puzzled by the combination.

The doctor is leaning towards a diagnosis of an allergy, but we have no idea what it could be. Environmental? Food? Who knows at this point. She ordered a prescription steroid solution to help with the eczema and sent us right across the street to the Nationwide Children's Hospital lab to get blood for an allergy panel. With this many symptoms, it was decided to skip straight to the blood test and avoid elimination diets and skin tests.

Mira was amazingly cheerful through all of this. She told the doctor all about her issues, acting like it was no big deal. She's lived with many of these issues (off and on) for nearly a quarter of her life, so I'd imagine it is an everyday thing to her.

Getting blood drawn, however, changed her demeanor entirely. I was honest with her about what would happen and she became very nervous as we sat in the waiting room of the lab. She asked if it would hurt, and I told her it would, like a shot does, but only for a moment. Mira has been very brave with shots, so I hoped she'd be OK with this, too.

She wasn't OK with it. As the med tech looked at her arms to find a good vein, she started to get upset and cry. She held still when the needle went in, but sadly the tech missed and spent WAY too long (in my opinion as a nurse) digging in her arm looking for that vein, which I'm sure hurt a LOT. At that point Mira was no longer brave and just wanted away from that place as fast as possible. Even when the needle was removed she continued to cry hard.

So when she realized they had to do it again (phlebotomy is an art, sadly, and you don't always get it on the first try), no amount of stickers, suckers, toys or ponies could persuade Mira to go along with this plan. She cried "Not again!" over and over and tried to get off of my lap to run away. I felt horrible. Holding her down for another needle to hurt her made me feel like I was betraying her trust.

They brought in an IV nurse for the second try, and even though Mira was crying, screaming and not nearly as still as before, she got it on the first try and it was all over quickly. It took Mira several minutes to calm down, and Mira and I both felt traumatized as we left the building.

We'll have the results of her allergy test by the end of the week, and then will decide where to go next, or how we'll have to alter our lives if she does have an allergy to something we're exposed to daily.

However, I can tell you there's nothing wrong with Mira's memory. She remembered she was promised a sticker. And when we got home she remembered I promised her fruit snacks. And a sucker.

The only reason she's smiling is because she has a sucker in her hand.

She also brought up the bribe of a toy, too. We're still negotiating that one.

Two Nights In The Woods - Internet Isolation

2012-03-13T07:31:00.001-04:00

Aaron and I celebrated our nine year anniversary by visiting the scenic Hocking Hills for three days last week. I found a great deal for the Inn at Cedar Falls (not a review thing at all - bought and paid for and well worth the money) and so we left our city and drove to the hills to stay at our own little cottage in the woods.

Yes, a small cottage in the woods. Although not a very rustic cottage, however:

King-size bed, gas fireplace, indoor plumbing with hot tub - I loved it so much.

But in some ways, it was very rustic. As in, no phone in the cottage, no TV, no internet, and no cell phone service. We were completely cut off from the rest of the world. A chance to get away from technology and simply focus on each other, right?

So we must have looked insane as we sat in the inn's restaurant with our iPhones, connecting to the restaurant's wifi and desperately trying to angle our phones just right to get a cell signal to send out a text.

We might have an itty-bitty internet addiction problem.

OK, so that wasn't all of our weekend. We did enjoy a (fantastic, incredible, amazing) dinner at the restaurant that night (in-between checking Facebook), and back in the cottage we played card games, watched The Muppets on DVD (what? No one said we couldn't bring our laptops if there was no TV!), took full advantage of the hot tub, and enjoyed being together without the kids.

And then on our second day there, the weather switched from pouring rain to brilliant sunshine. So we went hiking. We didn't plan on doing more than the easy trail at one park. Instead, we did the difficult trail at that one, and then went hiking in two other parks as well. Total hiking time was over four hours in the day!We had so much fun, and were in awe of the beauty of nature around us.

Waterfall at Ash Cave - tallest waterfall in Ohio

Hanging out in Old Man's Cave.

More from the trail near Old Man's Cave

Cedar Falls (one of the side waterfalls)

When we got home, we felt out-of-place surrounded by all of our technology again. It was good to be home, but it was an odd transition.

I highly recommend taking your significant other into the woods away from all technology. Well, keep the indoor plumbing and heat, of course, but no connection to the outside world. It's a great way to reconnect, to discover new aspects to your partner, and to laugh at each other as you climb over your partner holding your phone just so pointing out a window to try for that one bar of cell signal.

Totally worth it.

Nine Years

2012-03-08T11:18:00.000-05:00

Today is our wedding anniversary. Nine years, to be exact.

We're celebrating by going (mostly) offline for the next two days. (Will we survive?) See you all on Saturday!

Things To Do While Unemployed

2012-03-05T08:54:00.000-05:00

I'm taking the elimination of my job amazingly well. Or at least that's what everyone is telling me. People look at me awkwardly, asking how I'm dealing with the news, and I just smile and say, "I'm fine." And then they give me that sad look that tells me they think I'm being so strong in hiding my pain, so I have to follow up with, "No, really! Do you know how much I can get done without my job getting in my way and sucking up all my energy?"

Not an optimist, folks. Just a realist.

But c'mon - if I'm going to be unemployed (hopefully for only a very short while), why NOT plan out all of the projects, chores, and wish lists I've wanted to tackle for so long but never had the time for? I feel like I've suddenly got the entire world in front of me, with limitless directions to take.

Here's just a few of the items I've started writing in a notebook (three pages now, people!) that I can now do with my time, in no particular order:

For home:
Make a greater dent in the laundry, get rid of clothing that no longer fits, de-clutter every room in the house, clean out the garage, put up the shelf I just bought from Ikea, take down the kitchen table & replace with the larger crate for Cosmo (this dog is getting too big), vacuum more often, learn to paint with the help of Pinterest and YouTube, paint a few rooms, get some kind of filing system up and running to keep papers under control, dust (for once), and more...

For the family:
Volunteer for my daughters' classrooms, pick Cordy up from school some days so she doesn't spend 1.5 hours on the bus, take Mira to preschool each day so Aaron doesn't have to be late for work, learn to cook with Pinterest and blogs (I'm trusting you, food-bloggers!), cook meals occasionally without poisoning my family, decorate my daughters' rooms with input from them, help Cordy with her homework, read more with Mira and take the time to teach her how to read, take the dog for walks, make doctor and dentist appointments that I've been too busy to make and then go to them, pay attention when Mira tries to tell me something that is so important to her, listen to Cordy's stories, cuddle with Aaron on the couch and spend time together and not just in the same room, sign Mira up for gymnastics or ice skating and take her to classes, and more...

For me:
Sleep at night again, next to my husband (!!!!), go the gym more, blog more, use my gift cards to have a facial or massage, get acquainted with my sewing machine again and find my way back into sewing, play video games, visit with friends, re-do my blog template, play with my fancy camera, catch up on Downton Abbey (I'm only a few episodes into season one), blast loud music in the living room and dance around like a fool when no one is home, reorganize my Pinterest boards, do something with my Facebook fan page, meditate, read a book or two, say yes to more product reviews for small businesses I want to support, knit, and (you guessed it) more...

Whew!

Looking at that list, I'm kinda amazed at how behind I am on things. I should have found myself a stay-at-home wife years ago to help me get all this done!

Did you read it all? I admit, it's a long list, and I seem to find new things to add to it each day. And of course there will be a half hour or more set aside each day to check the job boards and look for any opportunities that would be a good fit for me, or network with friends who might know of good jobs. (This has already been happening and so far is very promising!)

I feel so free knowing the long hours of my night shift are at an end. I've worked an overnight shift for years now; seeing the sunshine and enjoying my weekends without being in a sleepy fog will be refreshing. If you've never worked overnights for an extended period of time, you have no idea how it affects your body and mind. No matter how much you try to convince your body that night is day, and buy blackout shades to have some darkness during the day while you sleep, it still knows. Oh, it knows, and hates you all the more for it.

Maybe I'll even blog some of the adventures I've listed above? I've been so removed from the domestic scene for so long that it could be comedy gold.

I doubt I'll get to everything on my lists. But I'm actually excited at having the ability to tackle them.

A Crazy Example of Great Service

2012-03-01T07:54:00.001-05:00

I had one other amazing experience during Blissdom that I wanted to share, but decided that it needed its own post.

As I mentioned previously, Blissdom was held at the Gaylord Opryland resort, which I often refer to as a city under a Bio-Dome. But ultimately it is a luxury hotel focused on providing high-quality service and creating a memorable experience for each guest.

I've been to Opryland three years in a row now. On my first visit, I remember walking into our hotel room and hearing this lovely music playing. It was similar to what you might hear if you went for a massage at a high-end spa. I looked at our clock radio and discovered it was also a sound machine. And the sound playing at the time was "spa" of course.

After a long drive to Nashville, the gentle wood flute and nature sounds were so soothing that I nearly fell asleep while relaxing on my bed. That entire weekend, I continued to notice how relaxed I felt while that music was softly playing in our room.

Before we left the conference that year, I asked the hotel where I could get one of those clock radios. They didn't sell them but told me I'd be likely to find them in any store. I copied down the model number, but was never able to find one in stores that had the "spa" sounds. It seems that the model in the hotel room was only made for Gaylord hotels.

The next year, the clock radio in our room was a newer model - replaced after the great flood of Nashville - but the new one still had the soothing spa music. I again asked where I could find one, but nobody had an answer for me. I took down the model number and tried to search for it, but came up empty handed again.

Yes, I know you probably think I'm insane to obsess over a clock radio. And to be honest I'm not as obsessed as I sound. While I'm at Opryland, I enjoy the spa music. Sound can influence our thoughts and feelings, and this particular track soothes my mind, calms my nerves, and lets me sleep deeper than I usually do at home. I occasionally see sound machines at the store and when I do I always check to see if they might have the one I'm looking for. But I don't spend every day in the quest for this particular clock radio.

So THIS year, I once again arrived at Gaylord Opryland and was pleased to find my little happy machine in the room. I joked with my roommate, Lisa, that I might just need to ask Opryland how much they'd charge me if our clock radio happened to be missing from the room at the end of our stay. I didn't want to be a thief (bad message to send to the kids, right?), but I've been trying to find a product like this for three years now.

I turned to Twitter to ask the hotel for help.

And they responded. (Because they're cool like that. And smart enough to watch their Twitter feed during a blogging conference.)

And then I responded:

I received no response after that, and I attended the Blissdom closing night party with the subject no longer on my mind. When we came back to the room, I walked over to the nightstand and switched on the music again, then turned and found myself face-to-faceplate with a second clock radio perched on the dresser, and an envelope next to it with my name on it.

(Photo re-enacted after I'd already opened the card, of course.)

There was at least a five second pause as my brain tried to process what my eyes were seeing. I slowly picked up the envelope and opened it, reading the handwritten card: "Christina, Thank you for following us on Twitter. We hope you enjoy these spa sounds at home. If you need anything, please let us know. Sincerely, Elizabeth, Nick & Tori."

That would be the point where the excited screaming began. Sorry to those of you staying in the Delta who were trying to sleep at 11:30pm.

I would have been happy to pay for one of the clock radios, but the staff at Opryland took notice of just how much I loved this thing and went out of their way to make sure I had the best experience ever. And they also ensured that I wouldn't have a guilty conscience when returning home to my daughters.

(Kidding.)

(Well, mostly.)

(No, no, really. Stealing is bad, kids.)

So thank you, Gaylord Opryland (Elizabeth, Tori & Nick!), for topping off a wonderful weekend with an unexpected delight. You reaffirmed that there are still companies out there focused on great service, and you've made a lifelong fan out of me. And you're now helping me get some of the best sleep possible, year-round, which any mother will tell you is a feat worthy of high praise.

You'll have to pry this thing from my cold, dead (yet amazingly relaxed) hands.

Blissdom 2012: A New Perspective Changes Everything

2012-02-28T09:39:00.002-05:00

Never did I need a weekend away from my normal life as I did this past weekend. As I sat down on the plane going to Nashville (for Blissdom) I pondered what I hoped to get from the next four days. Of course I wanted to catch up with friends I haven't seen in months. I also wanted a break from kids and work to focus on myself a little and maybe even have some fun. I was open to meeting new bloggers and discovering like-minded souls. And I was hoping that somehow, something or someone would speak to my heart and mind to help me find new direction in my life.

Folks, I'm happy to report: I got it all.

To begin, it's hard to be unhappy when you're in the Gaylord Opryland. It's a giant structure that can best be described as a city under a Bio-Dome. The weather is always perfect, the trees are always green, the flowers are always blooming, and the river (yes, there's an indoor river) is always crystal clear.

The view from my hotel room window and yes, it's all indoors.

There was some whining on my part during the conference. After all, I was having one big pity party for myself over being out of work soon. But that's where good friends stepped in, reminding me of my talents and distracting me from dwelling on the unpleasant. They engaged me in long conversations, had me gasping for air from laughter, kept me company when I was feeling down, and fed me delicious homemade brownies that would make you cry tears of joy. (Really, Michelle, they were incredible.) The conference was a beautiful excuse to spend time with friends that are normally separated by thousands of miles.

The opening keynote by Jon Acuff was one of those lightbulb moments you hear people talk about. His talk was about closing the gap between your day job and your dream job, and while I'm generally not into deeply inspirational speakers, this felt like he was speaking directly to me. I realized I haven't felt all that passionate about my job, while I've been neglecting the very things I am passionate about because of my job. I'm too tired to blog as much as I used to, I haven't done anything crafty in years, and I feel like I'm constantly letting my family down due to being stretched too thin. I've lost all my passion.

I came away from that keynote re-energized with a new perspective on my situation. This is a gift. Having my job eliminated is the universe's way of removing all barriers that have kept me stationary for so long, freeing me up to find that passion and pursue it. Of course, the hard part is determining exactly what that passion is, but I'm ready to do the work to discover it.

(If you want more from Jon Acuff, check out his book, Quitter.)

Did I have fun? Oh yes. There was dancing and drinking and long chats with others while sitting on the lobby floor. There were comfy shoes:

(Dr Scholl's shoes)

And meeting famous people:

Err...I mean, the Lorax.

And, of course, silliness with Joe Jonas behind us:

Voted least likely to be seen at a Joe Jonas concert. (With @mizzjenny)

I met lots of new people, of course. Unless you're completely anti-social, it's hard to go to a blogging conference and not meet new people. Some were complete strangers, others were introduced by friends, and several are people I plan to stay in touch with and learn more from.

On the last day of the conference, Cecily introduced me to Amber, who then offered to take a headshot of me as part of a project she was working on. I was truly honored by the request, and while hesitant at first (I hadn't brushed my teeth since before lunch, I looked tired, my makeup needed a touch-up, it wasn't my best outfit, etc etc etc...) I finally got up the guts to agree to it.

The result? Amber is a talented photographer, and captured a portrait (totally worth the click!) just as good as any that Nigel Barker could take. I look at that photo and immediately notice the effect the previous days had on me. Yes, I'm tired, and my lips really needed a little more color, but so much of the stress and worry and unhappiness is gone from my face. I'm relaxed, at peace, and ready for my next adventure.

And I think that was my takeaway from Blissdom. I found peace and enjoyed the happiness brought on by being surrounded by so many talented and inspiring women. They make me want to do more and be better.

Now to figure out how to do that.

Change of Plans

2012-02-21T08:40:00.000-05:00

The last seven days have been a mountain of stress for me. Just when everything was swimming along nicely in my life, it was announced that my shift is being eliminated at work in two weeks. I'm unsure yet as to what this will mean for my employment overall, but you can imagine how news like this can affect you emotionally. Especially when you just had new living room furniture delivered to your house the weekend before, with a large credit card bill coming due.

The first day I was in shock. When I was given the news that morning, I couldn't sleep. (I work nights, in case you're new here.) Once I did get a few hours of troubled sleep, I woke up and couldn't even face the idea of dinner with my family. You KNOW I'm upset if I can't eat.

I barely ate the next few days as well. The reality slowly sunk in, and while the shock has worn off, the uncertainty at the moment is still very present. It will likely be a few more days before I'll know the future of my current job situation.

Suddenly the five stages of grief makes sense to me. I went through denial and anger already, and while bargaining doesn't really make sense in this situation, I know depression is just around the corner. Here's where I get worried, because depression rarely shows up at my door without a bag of powdered donuts, a pint of ice cream and an extra large spoon. (And as an adult depression also usually brings a box o' wine along as well, making sure to get the most alcohol for the value. Depression is thrifty like that.)

At this time, I'm thankful that Aaron has a job that he loves. I'm also thankful that his employer loves him as well. It wasn't that long ago that Aaron was unemployed while I served as the breadwinner. I still make a little more, but Aaron's job provides our health insurance and he has paid time off while I don't. No matter what happens with my job, we can meet our essential bills and will still have health insurance.

It's still unsettling. Any illusion of security that I thought I had was pulled out from under me. We had a lot planned for this year, and now all of it is in question. It hurts. My weekend was spent playing endless games of what if? as we tried to come to terms with this upcoming change and discuss what might happen next and how we'll deal with it.

Before any of this happened, of course, I had planned to attend Blissdom later this week. I'm still going, and I honestly can't wait to escape from this bad dream for a few days and immerse myself in blogging.

Stepping away from it all may help me clear my head and reach that final stage of grief: acceptance, of whatever the outcome might be.

Twuu Wuv

2012-02-15T10:03:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. Or as we preferred to call it in our house: Tuesday.

The day started with me getting home from work to give Aaron a Valentine's Day card that he was already aware of because someone forgot to hide it when putting away the groceries and accidentally left it in plain sight this weekend. But unlike when he first saw it, I had signed my name. So, you know, it was still new.

Aaron then gave me a card and a box of chocolates, despite an agreement I thought we had made to not buy anything for each other. Apparently he had said I didn't have to buy him anything, not that he wasn't going to get me a gift. He should be coaching politicians on doublespeak, because he totally got that one past me.

Those actions were all accomplished from 8:00am until 8:05am. And that was pretty much our Valentine's Day.

What about the rest of the day? Oh, that was pretty uneventful. He left for work, I went to bed. I got up early to go to a work meeting in the late afternoon and found Aaron and Mira in the living room. (He had to get the sick child from school.) Then I went to my work meeting, came home, we ate a quick dinner, put the kids to bed, watched a little TV, and then I fell asleep on the couch until it was time for me to get ready for work again.

It's true, we're romantics.

All joking aside, Valentine's Day isn't a big deal for us anymore. When we were dating we took it seriously, but with our wedding anniversary less than a month away from the national holiday for hearts and expensive jewelry, we'd rather save most of the romantic (and pricey) gestures for our anniversary - a date that actually has a significant meaning to us.

(And don't get me started on all of the cute Valentine's Day gifts and crafts I saw on Pinterest for moms with way more time than me to make for their kids. I do not feel obligated to whip up a special day for my kids, or create homemade Valentine's cards for their classmates. Generic Care Bears valentines worked for me, so Tinkerbell valentines will work for them.)

I hope everyone had a fantastic Valentine's Day and got to celebrate it as much as they wanted it to be celebrated. For me, I got a little surprise chocolate in my day and a reminder that my anniversary is less than a month away!