A Key West Local's Life

Holy Mother

2012-05-14T08:54:00.000-04:00

Holy mother of soreness.

Still feeling the effects from Saturday. Maybe next time I'll train.

The Process of Being

2012-05-13T09:13:00.001-04:00

Haven't been writing a whole lot on here lately. Been trying to just be and not think too much.

As the season starts slowing down, I see how much has moved forward in the past year. I typically gage my year not on Jan 1, but summer. It's a time of reflection and of course, travel. Still trying to figure out where to go but in time I'm sure it'll show itself soon enough.

Last year around this time I was preparing for Peru. Looking for answers and a way to release myself from the fear that has had a grip on me for a while now. Ultimately I was looking to learn how to be the person I truly am and live life with an open heart.

The last few months I can really see how that wish has come true.

My art has been fun and I'm finally showing it to people without having my stomach turn. In fact, I actually enjoy showing it now which is a switch.

I try not to worry too much about people's reactions which have been for the most part very kind and supportive. After finally bringing a couple pieces to a local store, I had a random encounter from a friend who runs a local gallery in town suggesting that I apply for membership.

That application includes submitting a few pieces along with an artist statement for a jury panel within two weeks of our conversation.

Now in the past, I would have made up every excuse why I wasn't ready for it but this time I had exactly three older pieces framed per their specs and was ready to go sans artist statement.

I would have liked to have given newer art but with the time crunch, my old ones would suffice because I love them just as much. They actually were some of the first ones I hung a couple years ago which was quite a stomach turning feat back then.

So after a great paddle board tour on Friday, I cleaned up and brought them into my friend. She had never seen my art before and I was amazed at how calm and easy it was to get through the whole thing this time around.

She explained to me the process and if I didn't get in, the reasons why that might be. I told her I was just happy to be offered the opportunity to show which is the truth. It's part of the process right now for me. I know my work will find the proper home or homes. Just being comfortable today with putting it out there, I see how much has changed and am grateful.

She knew one of my subjects very well. A mahogany seed I had picked up one day at the library. I watched as she looked at the painting and described how beautiful they were after it rained. That's exactly the kind of reaction I want from my art.

Provoking some kind of personal memory or feeling that gives people a moment of calm, happiness. My artist statement came out in a blip and felt so right, I didn't have to rework it much.

Andrea agreed it was perfect and really matched what I presented. After the last few years of writing about other peoples work, I think I found a groove in explaining my own. I have a feeling those artist marketing jobs are going to payoff big time in a way I never imagined.

Been enjoying myself with friends and one more than friend. Seeing how having happiness and fun with people can grow if you let it. Not being afraid to share my feelings and seeing the shifts that are happening now are ok. Keeping the thought as a guide that change is good and the only constant.

Not trying to attach to an outcome manufactured in my head and just letting it all go to where it needs to be feels freeing. It takes practice though.

I did the paddleboard classic yesterday. A 12 mile paddle around the island that I swore I would never do again after last year's conditions. My goal last year was to finish it which I did.. 5 1/2 hours later. This year I had been sick with a cold the week before and I decided to join to be a part of the group for the fun of it.

Conditions started out ok, but gradually worsened and by the time I made it 3/4 of the way, it just wasn't fun anymore. I could have killed myself to try to prove I could finish it but I already had the year before and was tired. So when a friend yelled out to me from a dock asking if I'd like a beer, I was sold.

They all laughed cause I guess they tried to convince others to stop but they all continued on the death march. I had reached my limit and didn't feel the need to prove myself anymore.

My stopping point was good enough for me and besides, I was really hungry. So I drank my beer and dropped off the board easily at the dock then got a barefoot ride with my good work friend. We subsequently got a bite to eat after, a few laughs and it was the perfect way to end my race.

Guess what I'm trying to say is I don't feel the need to prove who I am anymore and in that I'm finding more freedom to be who I really am. People seem to be responding to that too.

Laughter, love, and joy can follow when you just get down to the basics and be you.

Woot.

2012-04-16T08:50:00.004-04:00

Something old.

Something new ~ My how time flies.

The E connection...Above: Gabriella painting by Anfinson early days at the old Lemonade Stand and below now at his awesome
Mockingbird Studios.

So excited to have a couple days off in a different locale. After a very busy season, I need some days where I don't ask people what they want or need.

Finished up the paintings, framed them and then brought them into the store. She took all of them which was awesome. It was such a big deal to do this the first time that I cannot believe how easy it was now.

Above is a book release party at Eric's beautiful Mockingbird Studios.

His yard is amazing and although I was totally listening in this pic, it's hard not to scan the property while doing so.

I'm pretty sure I was staring at the shack which he graciously let me live in for a few months before Spain. Such good memories of that. His backyard feels like a second home.

The way I ended up in that shack is strangely happening again. My good friend Cricket is leaving town for good. Its sad, but not as jarring as she left the first time.

Things that started a couple years back then seem to be looping around again in a different form. Perhaps the conclusion of what started?

I do know one thing. After finishing up the framing and taking those paintings in, something finally released and its all gotten a bit easier lately.

For now, St Louis is calling. Looking forward to heading home for some downtime to refresh.

How you like..

2012-04-11T15:58:00.001-04:00

How you like my logo?

Never really liked signing the front of paintings so this is how we do it here. Branding is ingrained in my brain and this time it's for me.

Welcome to my alter ego. I'll probably add horns at some point.

Love that the watercolor pencil picked out for it was "Spanish Orange". Made me laugh out loud.

~ very fitting.

First Framing

2012-04-07T11:02:00.000-04:00

First attempt at self-framing. That thrift store frame looks pretty damn good if I do say myself. I have visited Ben Franklin every day for the last three days and have enough spray paint to make a mural.

Gonna get them all done by Tuesday, Yo.

Forgot how important it is to talk with other artists. Got some good juice last night and am all geared up for this stuff.

Finishing

2012-04-03T20:52:00.001-04:00

Spring has sprung and riding around today, I forgot how beautiful Old Town can be.

Been having some fun finding thrift store frames and figuring out how to repaint them so I can frame some of my pieces in an affordable manner. Framing usually costs an arm and a leg but is such an important part. I've always put it off for some reason. I really like this way of doing it.

Treasure hunting in the Salvation Army has become a rush and I hate to say it but maybe Garage Sale Saturdays might yield more. There's something about looking past the surface ugly to uncover pure gold. Sometimes that in the past has lead me astray but in this case, it's working.

So far so good. Ben Franklin has the mats and glass and I made friends with the resident framer who is also a watercolor artist. He understands the thrift. I need to ask him about where to get my hands on some butchers paper.

But its not just the money. The fun part about this thrifting is coming across wooden frames that have some character. I match up each painting with its framing cohort. The other benefit - bike rides.

While riding and picking up spray paint and other supplies, I get more inspiration. My leaf obsession is ongoing and its perfect that it's going to be the first round that gets framed. Above is a leaf I picked up a couple months ago. I love it.

What a great day off.

Another...

2012-03-26T15:34:00.000-04:00

Another frog jumped out at me from nowhere.

Dear Frog...

Are you trying to tell me something or are you just a stalker? Sorry I left you on the bike path that day but it appears you found your way.

Whatever you are, thanks for the smile today.

Frogger

2012-03-10T12:53:00.000-05:00

Whilest taking a beach bike ride this morning, I found a friend along the path.

I was weaving around joggers when I decided to look down at my arm and found this frog on it. It kinda looked like this guy I drew a time ago and it was looking directly up at me.

I'm not gonna lie. It scared the crap out of me that it came out of nowhere, landed on my arm and was now staring into my soul.

So as any girl would, I let out a little scream, instinctively shook my arm and it fell.

Feeling bad for my shock shake I went back to make sure it was off the path. I didn't want it to get hurt or squished but it totally disappeared.

Don't know if you believe in totem animals or animal energy, but usually when one shows up in your life it means something.

Here's the frog:

A frog symbolizes coming into your personal power, reminding you not to become bogged down with day-to-day living. You give support and energy where it is needed, and can cleanse the negativity from an environment.

Okey dokey. Thanks little buddy.

Party Train

2012-03-07T10:12:00.001-05:00

Whoa.

I think I finally stepped off the holiday party train. Yes, I know. It's March.

Guess I needed to blow off some built up steam. Umm...just didn't know that I had that much to blow off.

Back to work and in work I mean my actual work, not the day jobs.

Have begun to hear the travel drum beating. So looking forward to seeing how it all begins to take shape. Getting excited for the new possibilities and feeling the anticipation of diving into the unknown.

All right, here we go.

I love...

2012-02-28T20:24:00.000-05:00

...how one paddleboard tour with some nice people redeems my faith in people again.

I also love riding back from Stock Island pant-less so I can even out my farmers bike tan.

The Nature of Nurture

2012-02-28T11:50:00.001-05:00

As a part of the service industry down here, you are constantly taking care of people. Some days, its pretty damn easy and others not so much.

After a full week of work, I tend to get sick of hearing my own voice asking people what they need or how I can help them cause lately it never seems to be enough. It can be exhausting at times to think of everyone except yourself.

On my days off I treasure the time I get to take care of me. If I start to get cranky or snarky I have to look at what I'm not giving myself and resolve it quickly.

I guess that's the perk of dealing with toxic tourists who are perpetually unhappy with themselves and blame everything around them for it.

If I ever start to become that, someone please shoot me.

On my days off, I can go a whole 24 hours not talking to a soul and be totally content. I make sure to spend those off days doing whatever it is that is going to make myself happy be it painting; riding my bike to glimpse the light at different times of the day or just eating a friggin' doughnut.

It doesn't have to be monumental.

Bottom line is if we can't make ourselves happy, no one else is going to do it for us. People come down here and spend their one week off trying to get happy. It still surprises me that for a select few, they absolutely cannot do it. No matter how much help they get from others.

These toxic tourists are land mines and its sometimes hard not to let them get to you. I'm sure you have people in your life like this as well. Its like a hole that keeps getting deeper no matter how quickly you try to fill it.

Last night I had two people that I had the good fortune of getting released from after I couldn't give them what they wanted. At first it annoyed me for a minute but then I was happy about it.

Funny how they gave me exactly what I wanted most, which was to get rid of them and their ridiculous behavior.

My other customers nearby were extra kind and complimentary especially after seeing the toddler tantrum my twosome were throwing, which I greatly appreciated.

It's like murphy's law for these particular toxic tourists, whatever they need they can never ever get. Which mostly is to solve the unhappiness with themselves whatever that may be at the moment.

You can feel the trainwreck about to happen from a mile away and the best thing is to try to disengage knowing that they are getting it. It being the lesson they have not learnt yet and believe me it's a painful lesson for ALL of us.

Most visitors always ask how we locals ended up here, chucking "normal life" in order to have what looks like a non-stop vacation.

My answer to that is this:

A) Reality is how you perceive it. If you are in a hell of your own making, not even living in a tropical paradise will make you happy. You may even begin to see palm trees as pitchforks from Satan.

and

B) If you just clarify what you need and take care of it yourself, you could be happy anywhere.

Now, time to go eat a doughnut.

Leaf Blobs

2012-01-29T14:43:00.003-05:00

I could paint leaf blobs all day.

It's what I always come back to. It makes me extremely happy. All the things that I have painted before look too tight to me right now. Too restricted.

I just want it to be messy. Bleed out and not make sense. Blend and bleed. No more thinking.

Pee esS...:

(The Mazzy Star station on Pandora is awesome.)

Melting

2012-01-21T09:10:00.001-05:00

A couple of days ago, I wondered why I hadn't had any dreams lately. Funny how you can call things forth...
Last night I had two dreams where everything around me was melting. Mountains, people and places I knew.

It was a strange feeling because I was traveling to a place where I was going to die and was ready for it.

Such an odd calming feeling to know these were the last steps towards this particular destination. It would all dissolve and while watching, knowing I would dissolve with it. It stuck with me a bit this morning after waking.

As usual, I like to look up dream meanings and here's what I found for "melting":

When you move toward intimacy, you may dream of something melting as a symbol of how your defense tendencies are breaking down. Anything melting in a dream personifies the 'thawing out' and new life of something that was previously frozen. Dreaming of melting can show the hardness of your self protective tendencies and how they are being made more solvent in preparation for opening.

Something I've been thinking about lately. I'm happy it is.

Here. Comes. 2012.

2012-01-04T13:57:00.001-05:00

Holy. Holiday. Exhaustion.

Ready for the new year and new adventures.

After moving a million miles a minute, last night it was nice to just make dinner, watch a movie and snuggle up at home. I slobbered my way through the Tree of Life and felt so calm afterwards.

Rest, but not for long...

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T13:31:00.004-05:00

One more to go...

2011-12-20T09:43:00.005-05:00

The white elephant gift. Got a whole stocking full o stuff for $2.49, including the stocking. My favorite part, releasing a brown ceramic cat from the Salvation Army pound.

Everyone needs some puppet scripts to act out bible verses.

Holidays down here are fun. That's right fun. Never thought I'd say that.

Working in restaurants and non-corporate places you quickly find that they have good events where people laugh, enjoy food, wine and general randomness.

There is no shortage of that down here and owners generously shut down their operations to do it up and celebrate. I'm always surprised when tourists get peeved when things are shut down while town's staff is out cavorting. I think cause we know how to do it right.

Appreciation is all I'm feeling right now. The gatherings and festivities just seem to echo it in all kinds different ways.

I love that when I asked my boss if we could have a Santa Pinata, she decided to make one and sent a picture of her in mid-process.

I love that I have met people I can talk and laugh with that actually understand me and vice versa. I have sat and listened to some of the funniest, weirdest stories in the last year that I can't seem to get enough of.

I love that I can go to my new local yoga place and get to take a class from my old roommate. Where I now open my chakras, I used to drink rum and have great conversations with an artist who first introduced me to watercolors.

I love that I can be invited to go to two friends book openings and enjoy art basel goodness in one month with my super talented artist friends.

I love that my own art is opening up as I learn to open myself up to all the good stuff life has to offer.

Indeed, its been a very good year.

Khristmas in the Keys

2011-12-17T14:11:00.009-05:00

"Honey, Do you think we could swim to Stock Island? It looks simply magical..."

These inflatable things are all over town and they really creep me out mostly because all of the characters are deflated and dead on front lawns in the daytime. It looks like a giant cartoon crime scene every time I see them.

This is by far the best one I've seen.

Santa pooping in an outhouse.

There's one thing that's more funny than the Monroe county Sheriff car backed up to it. (That thing is going nowhere)

To the right of Santa is an inflatable Jesus manger scene. So basically, you've got Santa pooping right next to the birth of Jesus. Gotta love Khristmas in the Keys.

The epic battle rages on. Score one for Santa.

Darling Time : Art Basel

2011-12-05T13:22:00.015-05:00

Art Basel with the Darlings. = Mucho fun + Lots o Art.

It was perfect timing to get out of town. My bike started making the worst squealing and creaking noises as I rode it around on my first day off. It sounded how I felt. My body was beat after a full week of work and wall of wind tours everyday. I needed some serious down time.

What to do??? Art Basel.

Driving has become sort of a strange thing to me now. I realized after getting a moving violation ticket, I haven't done it in a while. About 8 months to be exact. I'm not sure I really like it much anymore.

My coffee addiction finally got the best of me when I saw a Starbucks in Key Largo and made an illegal U-turn. If it helps my case any, I also had to pee. Figured I'd kill two birds with one stone but alas, the State Trooper was not amused. Especially when I told him about the pee.

Oh well, I think I got the best side of him that day as I'm pretty sure I passed him further down in Miami yelling at a fellow state trooper on the side of a highway. They were next to a bunch of ladies boots that looked like they fell off the back of a truck. I had to concentrate hard not to get distracted by all the suede boots strewn across the road.

Who knew driving took so much effort?

Jim and Tina were part of a group that graffitied an abandoned Subway tunnel for two days. It was a great show and this was one of my favorites from it. So crazy beautiful. I looked closer at it yesterday and I think she's got horseshoe crab legs!

Jim next to a giant cock.

I asked him to pose. He's good at it.

Teeny getting some props from the crowd.

When this dude showed up I tried to snap a quick pic but the flash went off.

I guess he noticed cause he came straight over and asked me if I got a good shot. I told him no and I needed a close-up. This is what I got. Creepy!

Old D-town friends checking out some crazy cool art at the Scope show.

Warehouse painting.

Jim and crew carrying supplies.

This building made me nauseous. But I love it.

All in all a great time.

Some random things seen in Miami in a day and a half:

Number One:

Seeing a car almost jump a curb after a collision and come super close to slamming into our outdoor dining patio while we were having lunch. A lady near the curb was talking on her cell and I thought it was going to kill her. She never flinched and she never once got off her cell.

Number Two:

Getting hit on by a guy in an SUV while waiting outside the motel for my friends before we all headed out. I blame my awesome Peruvian legwarmers.

Don't know what disturbed me more...That I got a drive-by pick up at a motel (a.k.a he thought I was a hooker) or that the guy originally thought I was wearing two casts and decided to come over. Who picks up a girl that is semi-immobilized?

Or number three which is utterly disturbing... Picking up a hooker with two casts. Aye Carumba, Miami! Gracias por un tiempo loco!

Onward to the next crazy event - the Santiagos Bodega Christmas Party.

Gobble Gobble

2011-11-25T08:35:00.004-05:00

Happy Turkey Day!

(Whoops! Blocked out the other dude)

Manatee Toss

2011-11-22T22:09:00.011-05:00

I think I rode a manatee today.

My first tour group this morning started to ask about the possibility of encountering alligators. Something that gets asked a lot.

I quickly waved them off saying everything would be ok, not to worry and then not a minute later it happened.

While looking back at the group to make sure they were ok, I suddenly ran aground in the flats. At least I thought it was ground. Until it started thrashing.

Water blew up all around me and I proceeded to get bucked like I was riding a bull in a kayak. Gripped the sides of the kayak in order to avoid being launched and let out a good ole healthy scream in the process.

The kayak finally settled into its original position, the culprit had disappeared and the natural response for a group of first time kayakers is of course: "WHAT WAS THAT?!?"

"I have no idea!" I responded in partial shock and then just started to bust up laughing at how ridiculous the whole thing was.

It took a few minutes for me to stop the laughing and compose myself enough to ask: "Well...Are you ready to head out?"

Restaurant Life - Take Two.

2011-11-21T13:05:00.011-05:00

Oh Green Parrot. Why does having one beer feel like you've drank a case the next morning? Add the Parrot to the energy/time vortex list growing on this island.

Its hard not to get a drink with the Boyz after work. Your choices for an after work aperitif are Don's, Bottle Cap or Green Parrot. Oh boy.

One beer you say. One soon leads to three especially after they both start sharing funny sex stories like a ping pong match with you sitting in between. Listening and laughing so hard I was crying in my beer. Is it possible to be amazed and horrified all at the same time? Yes.

As your co-worker on the left, keeps suggesting you should go out with the one on your right, you eventually have to share that you almost married a guy just like him. Surprise!

Hugs good-bye and leaving before it gets past 2am - good idea. Waking up with an energy hangover the next day that only a bike ride and a Sandy's sandwich can help cure. Oh Parrot P-rot, No more after work drinks for me for a while.

I will say, I am finding creative ways to integrate my restaurant outings though.

Like last night whenever the kitchen staff forgot to garnish something, I'd shake the plate and in a booming voice asked them to "make it rain, MAKE IT RAIN!". I'll keep that one. Thanks Bare Assets!

Progress

2011-11-20T12:13:00.005-05:00

Laughing while painting.

Always good.

You know what else makes me laugh?

Friending my Shaman on Facebook.

Got a Lama on speed dial too.

Gotta love spirituality in tech times.

4 hours of paddling does the trick.

2011-11-17T14:37:00.004-05:00

2 hour kayak tour +

2 hour paddleboard tour +

5 manatee patiently waiting for their turn to suck on a hose =

Sweet Sanity.

Thank you little baby Jesus for the water job cause it paddled out the crazy I saw last night. Such a weird evening fo' sure.

Now, to enjoy the much needed water buzz. Love how that works.

Tonight's thought is...

2011-11-17T00:32:00.015-05:00

I wonder if waiting tables is anything like administering drugs in a psych ward?

When crazy comes out to play, it can be a bit jarring. And your job, if you choose to accept it, becomes to get them sedated as quickly as possible so they don't fling any poo your way.

There are two things that I find very grounding in this situation.

One: if you are this wound up on vacation - that's punishment enough.

Two: is having a strong feeling that the corporate structure as we know it in this country is quickly falling apart and they will soon get to feel what it's like to live in a service industry.

Since we don't produce much in this country anymore, I figure America is eventually gonna be one big friggin' Disneyland to foreigners.

Let me share a little secret...While crazy is coming out, most of the time I am picturing you miming "Would you like a cappuccino?" in Chinese.

For the most part, people are genuinely kind and good. Great people in fact that some days it can redeem your faith in humanity and you can feel the oneness. You get the sweet, syrupy over flowing just happy to be alive feeling. That's the good stuff.

And the others...well... it makes you wonder if people in this country aren't just losing their shit. It feels like a full moon... with a side of crack.

Leaving work tonight I get a friendly wave from the guy in Bahama Village I always pass on my way to work. He usually just smiles with a friendly wave and a big ole "HI!!" welcoming me into the neighborhood.

Tonight I'm grateful I get the gift of seeing him on the flip side.

"Don't worry! No one's gonna hurt you here. That's what we're here for!" he says with his familiar smile and wave that I love to see. I quickly smile, wave back and say "THANKS!".

Grateful for the kindness and the happiness which overflows from deep in his core.

Not five minutes later, I encounter a whole different two-some. One that wants to pick a fight as I try to quickly go around them while not disturbing their walking path.

Keep on keeping on, I say. I choose to let crazy go and enjoy the syrupy people.

Ah, the holidays are upon us...I better get my meds tray ready.

11.11.11

2011-11-11T10:10:00.006-05:00

I've been having some crazy-ass dreams. Many of which have been coming true faster than ever before.

I'm really looking forward to when Johnny Depp shows up in Key West.

Eleven is a number of mastery. Sometime last year I had this elevator dream where there was a choice of two buttons to push - 10 or 11.

I thought of pushing 10 but for some reason at the last minute I chose 11 and as soon as I did, the elevator shot up like a rocket. I flew up to the ceiling and as I looked down at all the people in the elevator, they started screaming at me to make it stop. To their credit, the floor was twisting and starting to drop out.

So I hit 10. The elevator slowed down and suddenly I was back in an office job, sitting in a cubicle at a building that was falling apart. Think of that scene in Inception where they are walking down the beach and the skyscrapers are literally crumbling into the ocean.

All I could think of is - "How in the hell did I end up back here?"

It didn't matter much, because it wasn't going to be around much longer as I sat watching the walls crumble down around me. I wasn't scared. I was relieved.

Pretty much spells out the differences between 2010 and 2011 for me. In particular, my attempts to do things in an old way that never really worked.

So today is a day that everyone down here is getting married. They think its lucky. But does it really matter what day you choose to get married on? The real luck is finding someone you actually want to be with and enjoy.

A lady last week at the restaurant had just gotten married and said she did so in the most beautiful red dress. As she showed me a picture she explained she's from India and over there you only where white to a funeral. Quite an interesting take on weddings in the U.S. huh?

It was lovely. Probably the most beautiful wedding dress I'd ever seen and it complimented her perfectly. She actually looked like her in it.

I'd totally get married in a red dress. But right now I'm happy the weather's turned cold and I get to wear my Peruvian baby alpaca legwarmers. Woot Woot!