I use the labs to enable  ”Send & Archive” so that when I reply, it disappears – the ball is in their court, and I effectively forget about the topic until it bounces back in my inbox.

What happens when you ask someone for some information, and they reply – what response do you send? It’s one thing to just leave your email in your inbox, but to actually hit “archive” just seems rude. Sure, they don’t know the difference between the two, but I know that means I will not be sending back any reply. The conversation was done… but I hadn’t thanked them.

But an email saying “thank you” seems kinda silly to me. It’s just one more in their long list of emails, and doesn’t really convey any information… it may signify the end of the discussion, but they probably already felt it was finished.

I started this post having in mind to ask what you thought (if you get this by email, feel free to reply or use the forum to post a comment). While about to start, I had an idea… instead of sending an email that basically says “Thanks for the reply [end of discussion]“, to really thank them, and make them feel good.

Forget any basic thank you letters – I just searched for a few and they seem far too rigid and sterile. Perhaps a few ingredients from this list, as appropriate – it doesn’t have to be long, just keep it real:

• Thanks for taking the time to respond – especially if they did some research or a bit of writing for you
• If it was a quick response, mention it!
• If the information was very good/timely/helpful/useful, say so – and why! e.g. “It was good you said that, because I was about to try the opposite.”
• Mention why you asked them – most likely it’s because you think they know about the question. So compliment them on being that person “in the know”. e.g. “Thanks for the help, you always seem to have the answers to these questions!”

With some of those ingredients, I don’t think I’ll feel any disease about sending a short email, and also should make them feel appreciated reading it.

So go ahead and clog up people’s email boxes spreading the good cheer!
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“There are two things to aim at in life; first to get what you want, and after that to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind has achieved the second.” - Logan Pearsall Smith

There are a LOT of “successful” people – high power careers, massive salaries, gigantic houses, nice cars – or for those younger: nearly perfect grades, a full roster of extra curricular activities perfect for their college admission. They seem to have it made.

But are they happy? Do they enjoy what they have? Or have they just traded “success” for a lot of stress and hardly seeing their family? It’s quite nice to get what you have been striving for – but what happens then? Do you enjoy it, or do you relentlessly push on to the next level barely acknowledging what you have accomplished? This isn’t to say you can’t be successful and enjoy it – there are many who do – but you have to do it on purpose. Those who are relentlessly focused on doing better often don’t focus on enjoying and appreciating how far they have come.

There is no stopping point. By the time you “make it” you may finally realize that you will never reach the point that you are ultimately satisfied – once we reach a goal, we see something even better to try for.

So when do you enjoy what you have? Not at the end – the entire time. Enjoy the process, the feeling that you are doing better and moving towards a worthy goal. It’s a shame to spend 4 days climbing up Mt. Everest only to spend 1 hour there enjoying the view.

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal.” - Earl Nightingale

While you may be focused on increasing what you can accomplish and working on your productivity, remember to stay balanced and enjoy it, too. You may find a funny thing happening – when you enjoy the journey, you will end up travelling better.

Take a look at where you are in your life. What can you enjoy, right now?
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No video? View the video about managing emotion about your goals here.
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No video? View the video about releasing here.

Summary of the questions:
Could you allow yourself to experience the current emotion?
Could you let it go? (If not, could you hold on to it?)
Would you let it go?
When?
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No video? View the video about feeling better here.
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No video? View the video about overcoming procrastination here.
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No video? View the video about failure here.

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Basically, when you recognize something is wrong – you made a bad decision, are in some negative cycle that you haven’t pulled yourself out of, recognize your motivation is waning, etc – your brain does the most UNHELPFUL thing – it makes you feel bad (or worse, depending on where you are starting from) about it.

Realizing that was true was quite a shock. See, when you feel bad… it kinda zaps your energy to make improvements.

Now once you recognize the patterns in your brain… you can decide to just set it free. To release it, to let it go. And once you stop feeling bad about making bad decisions or about.. feeling bad, you can start making better decisions and feeling good rather than wallowing.

Are you having negative reactions to the negativity in your life? Just drop it. Allow yourself to feel good… and feel the relief.
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(Video 2:41)

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If you are looking for a job or how you can help others, then you are probably focusing on their lack or on your knowledge. “What are they missing, or what do I know that can help?”
While that is nice, there is a much better (and fulfilling) way: ask “What am I really good at?”
After leaving Egypt, when collecting supplies for the Mishkan (the traveling Temple) the princes were looked down upon for saying “we will handle whatever is left over”. They should have given their best. So don’t ask “what’s left to do?” Rather, ask “What can I do really well?”

Whatever it is that you do really well, you probably do automatically. In Is Your Genius at Work? Dick Richards says that everyone has a core process – a way that they process all information, naturally. Mine has to do with seeing possibilities and potential for expansion. It just happens naturally: if the conversation turns to business, I start coming up with ideas to market better and provide more value, automatically.

Stop trying to “fix” all the natural ways that you act. Stop developing competencies merely because you think that they will get you a better job. Unless the way you act is downright harmful, find a way to harness it to help you. Instead of developing a weak skill, focus on what you automatically and naturally do well – and become amazing at it. That’s really what makes you unique – the tools that G-D put in you, not the things that you learn. So focus on your strengths and inclinations, and develop them.

(StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath is a test that will identify your top strengths, which probably fuel your core process.)

What are your strengths? When do you use them? Can you tell the difference in your energy and results when you aren’t using them? Come discuss it in the forum!

p.s. It seems the page with the list of recommended books was inaccessible until just now – view it here: Recommended Books

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