I've been going through my books and reducing the pile. I try to keep only those books I will read again or use as reference (plus my pile of "to read" books).

One of the books that I'm keeping is Cue Cards for Life by Christina Steinorth, MA MFT. The title says it all.  The author shares a number of simple reminders - cue cards - that will help you develop healthier relationships. There are sections for marriage, parenting, your workplace and more.

One cue card that stood out to me today was:

Put your personal communication device away.

So simple, but, honestly, haven't you seen people spend more time texting or calling than engaging in conversation with the people right next to them?

Putting your phone away tells the other person that they have your full attention and that they matter to you. Not a bad message to send to your sweetie.

Choose to be phone free when you have an opportunity to spend time with your husband ~ at the dinner table, while watching a DVD, or when you're taking a walk in the neighborhood.

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Image courtesy of Amazon.com

Calm Healthy Sexy: Pursuing Our Dreams – "Why not me? Why not now?" What's your dream?

To Love, Honor and Vacuum: 3 Steps to Amazing Sex If You’re Remarried Great guest post from Julie of Intimacy in Marriage.

Becoming Minimalist: Don't Forget the Past. Learn from It. Wonderful list of ways that we can benefit from the past.

Over the last few months I've been more self-disciplined with the laundry.

I've never been really great at it (folding and putting away clothes ... well, slow at best), but one day I realized how tough it was on my sweetie (and the rest of my family over the years) when I didn't get clothes back in the closet and drawers in a timely way.

I sat down and diagrammed out my clothing system and then asked myself where the hang up was. No surprise that it was the "put away" part.

So I just made a rule for myself that when each load was done, I would hang things up, fold the rest and put everything away right then. I've done a pretty good job of it and it's made our lives a bit smoother and there is less clutter in the bedroom and the laundry room (although I have a pretty impressive collection of lonely socks).

A little self-discipline can be a good thing. Is there some part of your life or household that is not working? Think it through and brainstorm some solutions to try. Your sweetie and family will thank you.

We are what we repeatedly do, excellence then is not an act, but a habit.  Aristotle

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Image credit Lori Byerly

The Forgiven Wife: Perfect Conditions If all you see is the weeds, you will miss the tulips.

Marriage Gems: Don’t be Afraid to Underachieve in Life to Better Achieve in Your Family Life Be counter-cultural in your approach to life and family.

If you are shopping online this week, please start on the Shop and Support TGW page. It won't change your purchase price, but I receive a small commission. (I've updated links and added some international shopping pages.) New merchants I've added:

legalzoom
vistaprint

Make an Ooops! Box for your husband's car or workplace. 

An Ooops! Box contains things like safety pins, double-sided tape, needle and thread, a small tube of super glue, and anything else that he could use when he needs to fix something.

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Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Mystery32: Just Say No to Control As my son would say, "take a chill pill."

The Romantic Vineyard: Are You Discouraged About Your Marriage Today? Joy rises from the sorrow!

Hot, Holy and Humorous: Yes, Kid, Your Mommy and Daddy Have Sex "It's reassuring to children to know that their parents experience a loving, and even private, relationship that establishes the foundation of their family."

This week's ebook bundle is about kitchen stewardship:

Healthy Snacks to Go (2nd Edition) by Katie Kimball
The Everything Beans Book by Katie Kimball
Smart Sweets by Katie Kimball
Is Your Flour Wet? by Katie Kimball
The Family Camping Handbook by Katie Kimball

I love questions.

So I created a little gift for y'all. It's a year's worth of questions for couples.

Free Download: A Year of Questions for You and Your Spouse

It's a pdf. You can "right click" on the above link and save to your computer or just click on the link and it will open in your browser.

Print it out, cut the questions into strips and put them all into a container (I used an almond container from Costco). Pull out a question a day to spark conversation between you and your spouse.

If a question does not apply to you or your spouse, just reframe the question so that it does. Change the “what” or the “who.”

I encourage you to create your own rules. Many of these questions are better answered if there is no limit on time, money, etc. This gives more room for options and imagination (I’d love to have advice from Florence Nightingale and live in Italy!).

When the answer revolves around people, you may want to give the option of adding “in addition to” or “other than my spouse.” And, honestly, I think it’s OK to change questions, add questions, give information not asked for, and so on.

The idea behind the questions is to give you and your spouse a starting place for conversation and learning more about each other.

Please remember to speak the truth in love and listen well.

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Image credit Lori Byerly

Safe At Home: The Best Defense Isn't Usually Helpful in Marriage Being defensive can become offensive. Instead, explain and explore.

 To Love, Honor and Vacuum: How Much Is Reasonable to Expect From Your Spouse? Some great advice on dealing with expectations.

How to Clean Stuff I found this site just mutzing around on the Internet. Nice resource to bookmark.

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.  2 Corinthians 9:7  ESV

We usually hear this scripture at church when there is an offering. Certainly that is a good time and place to consider it.

However, I think it applies to everything, including our marriage relationship.

We need to consider how generosity plays into our marriage. Where and how can we give cheerfully? (Reluctant giving doesn't say love to our spouses. It actually feels kind of creepy.)

I find it easier to break my life down and look at its parts. Where can I be more generous in the kitchen? In the bedroom? In the living room? Or how can be more generous in the morning? In the evening?

Doesn't matter how you work through it. Just prayerfully consider ways of being more generous to your sweetie.

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Image courtesy of stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Do Not Disturb: Third Time’s a Charm A simple challenge that can add fun and variety to your sex life.

(in)courage: I Stole A Television… And Other Lessons In Generosity A story of sacrificial generosity.

Redeeming Marriages: Does Your Spouse Pay For Your Past? Turn your past over to God so that only He has the say in how you will be formed.

Every now and then I hear a gal talk about someone (other than her husband) with a wistful tone. There is something about that someone that they hold dear and the undertone is that their husband doesn't measure up.

Well, of course, he doesn't measure up! He is a totally different person and she's holding him up to the wrong standard!

She's comparing apples to oranges. We need to appreciate people for who they are.

Yes, it's great that your first boyfriend always brought you flowers. Appreciate that someone valued you and brought you a gift you enjoyed.

Now drop it. It's not a standard that you can use with other people (and certainly not your husband).

Your husband is a remarkable person. He sings silly songs, has mad techie skills and knows when you need a hug. Enjoy him for the unique person that he is.

Don't ask him to be an apple. He's an orange.

Comparison is the death of joy.  Mark Twain

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Image courtesy of Suvro Datta / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Calm Healthy Sexy: Slow Things Down and Shake Things Up This Summer Preach it, girl!

The Romantic Vineyard: Flashlight Tag Date Could be fun!

The Forgiven Wife: Intimate Moments Finding real intimacy.

Stuff I've Recommended This Week