There are some highly valuable qualities that are universal with volunteers which are key for leaders to understand. If these qualities can be developed in “paid teams,” the potential for a new level of results and for a new level of satisfaction and fulfillment in work is greatly increased.

I first began to wake up to the valuable lessons from working with volunteers in the late ‘70’s when I spent two years as a full time volunteer during the launch phase of The Hunger Project, a global movement to unleash the human spirit by ending chronic, persistent hunger on the planet. 

The first phase of work at that time was to make people aware of the basic facts about the enormity of hunger around the world and that it could be ended.  The idea was through awareness we could generate the “political will” to end the problem. Our primary strategy was a campaign to have people sign “enrollment cards,” which was, in some ways, similar to having them sign a petition. Basically, by having them ”sign a commitment” they were willing to say, “yes, I understand this is a problem and yes, I want it to end.”  This was an intimidating task.  We learned to get the penetration we were committed to, we would have to go out in the streets and local markets with the sidewalk performers, Hare Krishna, Salvation Army, and many other uniquely interesting individuals and groups. We went on beautiful days, rainy days, in the snow, and sometimes late at night if that is what it took to make our goals.  That’s where I began to see people do things they would never do for a paycheck out of their passion for the end of hunger and their commitment to reach the number of people we said we would reach during a particular week.

I was reminded of all of this last weekend when we met and completed with last year’s facilitators and team from The World Academy For The Future of Women, and then spent two more days with twenty new volunteers looking to go to SIAS International University in China to lead one of the modules of next year’s program. 

Here was a group of experienced, capable professionals from across the United States gathered at our home to explore the opportunity to give up their incomes and familiar surroundings and pay their own way to spend five weeks working with young Chinese women aspiring to become leaders and global citizens.  Again, what stood out was their passion to contribute and willingness to give up income, creature comforts and conveniences, and the security of familiar surroundings and to commit themselves to producing incredible results with very few resources and little support.

When you consider the passion, excitement, commitment level and willingness in groups of volunteers it’s truly extraordinary. Amazing things happen when individuals get together and feel commitment to a cause, another group of people, an issue, etc. There is enormous creativity generated when resources are slim and “the stakes are high” as far as the potential to make a difference. What if this same passion, willingness, commitment, excitment and creativity could be generated by employees? What if your team brought this level of energy to bear on your business? It’s my experience that  most people are just itching to make a difference. What if you found a way to unleash this within your team? When you examine your own leadership, how might you shift your behaviors to honor the passion and commitment that your team members are dying to display?  What might you do to start hearing them in more powerful ways?  How can you unleash them? Get out of their way?

Much of our work in Vision Focused Leadership™ and Productive Interactions™ has been and continues to be developed out of these experiences.  We have found that the more you can let your teams bring their passion to your business and the more they feel a personal stake in the outcomes and results, the greater their satisfaction in their work and their productivity thrives. This is why we believe it’s important to recognize and work with the “heart and soul” of an organization, not just the processes, the numbers and the org. charts.

(July, 2010) Dwight and Suzanne Frindt developed curriculum and then taught at The World Academy for the Future of Women part of SIAS International University in China. Concurrently, they were part of the 4th Annual Women’s Symposium which was held at SIAS while they were there. Dwight Frindt gave a key note address to almost 5,000 attendees and both Dwight and Suzanne led multiple breakout groups. To get more information please open the .pdf of the complete article.

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What I have been seeing in the past six weeks or so among my clients is what I would call, “The Paradox of the Double Dip.” Let me explain. As you all know the economy and financial markets crashed badly. In March we saw “the low” and the economy was supposed to be on the road to recovery. Now we are seeing another down trend and the term ”the double dip” is being discussed – meaning a second dip that might indicate the economy is not actually on the road to recovery after all. I am hearing “the sky is falling” from a variety of people about what’s happening. I am also hearing comparisons to the ’80s when we had the S&L scandal and Japan’s economy tanked. The US recovered from the S&L scandal and cleaned up its mess. Japan did not recover in the same way and in fact is still experiencing repercussions because of the actions they did not take. In the current scenario we are being compared to Japan and the fear is our economy is going to be a mess for an undetermined length of time.

The problem with all of this from a leadership standpoint is that instead of Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” we are in a “speak and grow poor” mentality and this will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

When asking clients how business is going right now I hear a range from “it’s a good year,” to “it’s a record year.” These are statements based on financial facts. However, the “looming crisis” conversations are not based on facts, but on fear and speculation and there in lies the paradox – things are going well for many on multiple fronts and yet there is a belief taking root that it’s all going away. 

This brings up one of the most important lessons for leaders to learn – it’s critical to understand that when fearful concerns and speculations are put out there it alarms the troops, which changes their behavior and the self-fulfilling prophecy is triggered. One of the foundational pieces of our philosophy at 2130 Partners is our set of Operating Principles. One of these Principles is “Be Responsible for What Gets Heard.”

From a leadership perspective it’s critical that executives recognize when they are spreading fear. Leaders create “an emotional wake,” (as our friends at Fierce, Inc. would say), just like boats leave a wake on the water. When leaders speculate in a negative tone and leave a wake of fear there are significant consequences. A frightened team is not going to be bold, innovative and confident. They are not going to be high-functioning and highly capable. Leaders need to be clear what emotion they are triggering within their troops – confidence, or fear and be responsible for it. 

Does this mean leaders should just be pollyanna positive and “paint the world pink” all the time? Of course not, but leaders do need to realize the power of their words, the emotional wake they create and learn to be responsible for what gets heard.

Have you ever wondered whether there is any common language that exists for all humans and, if so, how knowing about that language might help you be a more effective as a leader? Well, there is and researchers have called it “deep metaphors.”

In the November/December 2008 issue of Spirituality & Health magazine, Managing Editor Betsy Robinson’s article, “Our Common Language,” offers a very insightful summary of work done by Harvard Business School professor and sociologist Gerald Zaltman, Ph.D. and his team across 12,000 in-depth interviews in more than 30 countries. 

Dr. Zaltman and his son, Lindsay Zaltman, have described their research in their book Marketing Metaphoria: What Deep Metaphors Reveal About the Minds of Consumers. While the consequences for marketing are dramatic, today we are more interested in how a working understanding of these metaphors will assist you in your leadership, your skill at conflict resolution, and your understanding of and ability to clear upsets.

According to Robinson, these deep metaphors are unconscious, universal, basic frames or orientations we have to the world around us.  In the language of the work of 2130 we’d call it “the instant, automatic, and largely unexamined context or paradigm in which you live your life.”  The researchers have identified seven main lenses:

1)   Balance – justice, equilibrium, interplay

2)   Transformation – change in state, status, substance, circumstance

3)   Journey – meeting of past, present and future

4)   Container – connotes inclusion or exclusion

5)   Connection – relating to oneself & others

6)   Resource – source of support

7)   Control – sense of mastery, vulnerability, well-being

and four subsidiary ones:

1)   Movement or Motion – related to journey

2)   Force – power that can compel or constrict

3)   Nature – not from humans, growth and evolution

4)   System – gives order

If you’d like a visual experience of these lenses, go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2exh6i6T6tg

Two very important dimensions of this work are the emotions and beliefs that we have connected with each of these deep metaphors and the fact that we cannot express ourselves without using the metaphors. Put simply, our conversations are full of phrases, which arise out of these metaphors, and they all have emotional baggage with them. Since we all use the same deep metaphors when relating to the same situations, it is the emotions that we have historically attached to each that yield the connecting or conflict that arises from each conversation.  In our 2130 Partners’ language, this is the “stuff that fills our File Cabinets.”

Your ability to resolve conflicts, dispel upsets, and be an effective, productive leader will all be greatly enhanced by learning about and observing these deep metaphors in the situations you encounter.  Robinson offers several helpful practices and exercises:

1)   Make a list of the emotions and beliefs you have associated with each metaphor.

2)   When you are in the middle of conflict, realize that there are deep metaphors at work and the parties have differing, perhaps extreme, emotions and beliefs associated.  Find a way to appreciate the others’ basis in the conversation.

3)   Find a way to sketch out a shared vision for the parties – what would life be without the conflict?  In 2130 Partners we call this finding a Shared Yonder Star for the conversation and the relationship.  Where will we be when it all turns out? Build a productive conversation from that commonality.

While it may seem difficult or awkward at first, viewing your encounters through the lens of deep metaphors and appreciating the generally unconscious, unexamined and often differing emotions and beliefs associated will almost certainly increase your conversational capacities and your ability to lead effectively.

In the realm of leadership the conversations are almost always quite serious. We discuss characteristics and traits like integrity and core values and mission statements for guiding teams of people. We review how leaders make mistakes, and how they fail. Process improvement, ROI, P&Ls, the list goes on. One topic that rarely comes up is “fun.” And why would it? Leadership is serious stuff right? Profits are at stake. People’s livelihoods are dependent on the successful outcomes of business plans. Fun is “frivolous” and has no place in conversations about important topics like leadership – or does it?

Culturally we are a very driven society. There is a push to succeed, particularly on an individual basis. In business this often translates to company cultures of, “if you are car isn’t in the parking lot on Saturday, don’t bother coming back to work on Sunday” which translates to 60, 80, or even 100 hour work weeks. The thing is high levels of stress are well-documented to break us down and cause serious health problems. Over-worked, exhausted people are less likely to be creative, innovative and productive and are more likely to be out sick.

So what does fun have to do with it? Enter Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos.com. He is leading one of the most successful companies in America and his focus is on happiness – for his customers AND his employees.  Here’s a quote that’s typical from articles about Hsieh and Zappos:

“And yet, this mild-mannered fellow leads a company that is entirely uninhibited. Interviews are held over vodka shots, bathrooms are plastered with “urine color” charts (ostensibly to ensure that employees are hydrated but also just to be weird and funny), and managers are encouraged to goof off with the people they manage….

Hsieh tries his best to keep up with the goofy, libertine culture. Every day, he blasts a steady stream of playful messages to 350,000 people on Twitter. (Before taking the stage at a conference earlier this year, he posted this missive: ”Spilled Coke on left leg of jeans, so poured some water on right leg so looks like the denim fade.”)” (quote from Inc. interview)

Hsieh’s approach to business is radical. He sits with his employees rather than in “an important office,” and he encourages their creativity and “goofy fun” daily. Of course there is more to his approach than having fun, but it is a critical piece of the formula and an element that is seriously lacking in American business these days.

Many companies have “enforced fun” like the annual company picnic, the annual Holiday Party and such. These events are often met with reactions ranging from “this is annoying, but I have to go,” to all out dread by employees and feel unnatural since they aren’t in sync with the daily culture. Employees often attend to be sure they get their “points” and to be seen as being loyal and enthusiastic, (whether they really feel it or not).

So what would happen to America and American business if we “lightened up?” What would happen to you as a leader if you allowed yourself to have fun? You may argue this wouldn’t be natural for you, but according to reports, it’s not natural for Tony Hsieh either. He is described as a fairly shy, reserved person, yet he pushes himself out of his personal comfort zone because he understands the bigger picture benefits to his company and business.

What would happen if you not only allowed, but encouraged your employees to have fun? What if fun wasn’t once or twice a year “because you should,” but it was a daily part of coming to work? Might be worth experimenting with this one…

In May I was forwarded an email written by Shama Kabani (@Shama). [She runs an online marketing firm in Texas and is also the author of Zen of Social Media.]

Here is the opening of the email: “I just got back from The Leaders of Tomorrow conference at St. Gallen in Switzerland. It was a fantastic trip, and I gleaned some great nuggets of business wisdom from the world’s best. One particular session I really enjoyed was presented by McKinsey partner Dominic Barton. As someone who spends much of his time with the CEOs of the world’s leading companies, he shared 5 insights from his experience.”

First, I was fascinated to discover this St. Gallen Summit as I wasn’t aware of it. Second I was really struck at the list of insights coming from McKinsey and recapped by Shama in her email. I found them compelling because in addition to my role as Principal and Co-founder of 2130 Partners I am also a Best Practice Chair at Vistage International. Vistage is the world’s leading CEO membership organization and I have worked with them for more than 16 years. I can say the 5 insights offered by Kinsey below are very consistent with my experience of the CEO population. Here they are with notes from me included.

1) They struggle with loneliness – The higher you get, the harder it is to find the right sources to trust. This is a fundamental reason for the success of Vistage. Having access to a peer group and being able to work issues with people who face the same types of challenges you do every day can be amazingly helpful for a top leader.

2) Lack of time - CEOs continue to balance an overflowing plate and prioritizing becomes key. This is something everyone is facing these days from the top office throughout an organization. We have found that the key issues here are in the “human dimension”- meaning that things often get slowed down between people through miscommunications, misunderstandings and upsets. This is why we developed our Productive Interactions program and why we have developed the concept of Lean Conversations.

3) Appetite for cross-sector knowledge – CEOs and companies across the globe are looking at what they can learn from industries other than their own. Cross-pollination at its best. What can marketers learn from HR? What can IT learn from sales? This is another area we find that communication is critical and is not happening at an optimum level. Often groups, teams, and departments become “silos.” There is usually a lot that can be learned by an organization and its leaders from within, from its own people. The challenge is opening up the flow for that to happen.

4) Understanding transitions – Leaders transition in and out of positions, jobs, and companies. They are consistently looking for help with these transitions. This is where a solid, experienced Executive Coach can really add value. Transitions are often fraught with emotions and complexities. Hiring a partner to help you through is key.

5) The battle for talent – The biggest competitive advantage of any company in the future is going to be people. Often CEOs don’t know the scope of talent available to them within their own company. This is a source of frustration for many. See point number 3 above. It is amazing how much knowledge and information inside a company does not flow. Again, challenges in the “human dimension” often hinder this flow. Fear, politics and other factors can keep key information like “how talented is your talent pool” from being clear to those at the top.

Bottom line, from our perspective at 2130 Partners, for CEOs to manage these top 5 challenges, investigating and investing in the “human dimension,” is the place to work. The greater the skills and capacities CEOs and those on their teams have to effectively and efficiently communicate and create results, the less painful these 5 challenges become.

Does the oil mess in the Gulf of Mexico outrage you? Are you saddened by the recent mine disasters? Are you distressed by the air and water pollution we see on the news or in person if you travel much? Do you drive a car, have air conditioning and heating, and/or fly much?

Here’s the biting part – you & I are causing all of these unhappy circumstances. Granted, for most of us our role is somewhat indirect. However, there would be no oil drilling, coal mines, refineries or plastics manufacturers if we didn’t buy and use the products to facilitate the lifestyles we enjoy. Being angry at the owners and executives of the companies involved makes sense on one level, but on another level it is a way to push responsibility off on someone else and comfortably go on with our lives. Large, complex systems will fail periodically, despite our best human intentions. There will be crashes, fires, stock market plunges, and on and on. We are all part of the large complex systems we live within and use to continue our lives as they are. It’s critical we examine this from a larger lens. It’s also important that we start to open to the idea that no matter how small, we do have a role in these large systemic failures that seem to be someone else’s fault.

So what are we to do, or, perhaps more powerfully, who are we to be in the matter?  How do we, as leaders, relate to these seriously troublesome issues of our time? I don’t know if anyone truly has the answers, but I suspect the power may lie in the questions themselves. I keep listening and looking for actions that are the most responsible I can take while continuing to own and be present to the realities of our world, where things are headed with our collective humanity, and the consequences if we don’t own our actions and change directions.

I’m also interested in how this same idea applies to other areas of our lives. What other parts of life are too difficult to face? What is happening in your organization that you refuse to be responsible for in the bigger scheme of things?

Consider the possibility that stepping up and owning it all may provide new access to solutions and strategies you had not seen before. You may find that owning it all even gives you a new sense of freedom – the freedom to be with the good the bad, and the ugly without suffering about it. The suffering may all come from resisting the way that it is and the way that it isn’t rather than because if it. 

Your inability to cause change where you’d like to see it may be similar. Instead of examining the condition, you may be caught up in complaints, judgments, opinions, and all the other noise around almost every condition these days. What if you give all that up and free yourself to turn your focus to discovery? Would you be unleashed to be creative and interact in a real problem solving way with others? What if you spend time asking questions and examining the “unfaceable conditions” instead of denying, ignoring, judging or being angry about them? Why not give it a try? See what happens if you are willing to be 100% responsible for everything in your life and for everything going on around you. Experiment with questions and curiosity. You might be surprised at the results.

Author’s Note: Building on last week’s blog post which was my key note speech at a Women’s Symposium in China I am posting the talk I am giving to the same group of Chinese Women Leadership Students for an upcoming break out session.

In the opening ceremony, I did a quick scan of the global picture of women’s leadership in the highest positions. I outlined a simple process to follow to make you most effective in your pursuits. I then pointed out a series of qualities for you to bring to your work to be successful. Lastly, I addressed the requirements for men to be most supportive of a woman’s passion and purpose. I declared that in the end both women and men must listen to their hearts and trust themselves. Identify your vision or “Yonder Star” and the path to it and get to work! Be courageous, authentic, collaborative, compassionaite, patient and persistent. The joy in in the journey and the learning along the way.

In this session, let’s dig deeper. Let’s get down to what it’s really going to take to live a life you love and produce outcomes that have you shouting “YES!”

As you will experience, life gets harder in the middle as things like jobs, family, housing, school, and medical expenses take your energy. It will be hard to remember what you said you were committed to when you were in college. You have to step out into the world and be defeated a few times to test your resolve. Can you get back up, shake yourself off, and continue to pursue your vision or will you step to the side and only make gestures? Will you let your circumstances or situation determine your life and just complain about it? Perhaps you will just suffer in silence, hoping you can do better in your next lifetime? Do you know anyone like that?  They didn’t plan their lives to turn out that way!  So what happened?

Life happened. Circumstances happened. As you go along, the evidence and the agreement of others stacks up about how hard it really is to make a difference. In your lifetime it will be even more challenging. In an age of uncertainty, rapid change, volatility, the rapid spread of instant information, and the breakdown of traditional practices and culture, it will be more confusing than ever.

I see all of this as great news for you. The more the past ways are losing their grip, the more freedom you will have to innovate and the greater that demand will be for your courageous leadership. Please note an emphasis on courageous and recall how I used David Whyte’s definition of courage in the opening ceremony, “developing a friendship with the unknown.”  Why is that so important?

When the pressure is on and circumstances are pressing in on you, it is very normal to fall back to what you know from your past. The problem for leaders is that your past won’t help when what you need to accomplish your Yonder Star are bold new strategies and partnerships that are different from past practices. To get your passion and purpose back on the path to leadership, you will have to get comfortable with not knowing what to do. You will have to stay uncertain long enough to discover new strategies and new team members that can lead you beyond the world you and others knew and find comfortable. You will have to learn to become very comfortable with being uncomfortable!

So let’s get specific. Here is an example of a really big vision or Yonder Star. Applicants for next year’s World Forum For The Future of Women were asked to write a brief essay on women’s lives in a perfect world. Part of what one woman said was,  “In a perfect world, women are really equal with men. They do not have to lose weight in order to get the praise of their boyfriends. A woman is a god of herself, not her boyfriend, family or someone else. She is totally free and her spirits are strong. She makes her own life colorful and has a say in society. She belongs to herself. She belongs to the world too. She thinks for the animals, the children, even our beautiful world. Her eyesight is so big. Life is full of ups and downs, but she always keeps her heart basking in the sun. She knows that every dawn will present a fine prospect for her to unfold and the world will always be about new hopes in her eyes.”

Does that Yonder Star call to you?  What do you think it will take to make that vision real in the world? If it fits you, what will you have to change about yourself and the way you have dealt with life in the past? If you answered “I don’t know,” you are wise. No one knows today what it will take to fulfill such a bold vision. To be successful with such a vision, you will learn to become comfortable with being uncomfortable or not knowing. 

The other critical aspect of being able to fulfill your Yonder Star is to make it very, very public and develop lots of partners in your vision. The more people you include, the more creative input you will get. More importantly, there will be more people to remind you about your commitment when you forget.

Now I want to remind you that the only powerful vision or Yonder Star for you is the one you choose.  No project is too big or small if it is truly yours. This is one of the hard parts of leadership. There are so many social agreements on what’s right or wrong or what gets recognition at the moment and what does not. Unfortunately, many really important ideas are not appreciated by others when they are created. Many famous artists, for example, died before their work was recognized and many social reformers never lived to see the improvements that came from their lifetime of commitment and hard work.

You cannot live a life of true significance and also worry about whether you are getting lots of credit at the moment. You will have to find other sources of strength. You will have to become completely comfortable with your own vision and ideas and completely willing to own the consequences of your actions and inactions. You will have to be completely willing to deal with your circumstances.

For the women in the audience – to be a visionary, you will have to be very patient. It may be a struggle to bring men along with you on your path. Some of you may find it easier to stay single and simply focus on your work.  In some ways that will make your life much simpler. On the other hand, you will miss out on many of life’s joys including children and real partnership.

For the men-if you intend to be a partner with a highly committed and passionate woman leader, be prepared for surprises. At times, your emotions may swing from very excited to wanting to give up. To be an equal partner will mean that much of what you have learned by listening and watching other boys and men while you were growing up will not be valid or useful in partnering. These old ways of relating to women may even cause you great pain.

For both of you, your guide will be the Yonder Star vision you share and your respect and love for each other. Beyond that, you and your partner will both be on a path of exploration. If you are frequently uncertain or confronted, you are probably doing the right work. If you are very comfortable, you may not fulfill your vision!

So what I have talked about are one or two very basic ideas it will take for you to be truly successful in fulfilling your Yonder Star or vision. It will be hard at times. It will take courage. You will forget your vision, you may not be able to find your commitment, and will have to be reminded. Your relationships can often be confronting, frustrating, or just disappointing. Discovering the joy and satisfaction of equal partnership as you express your passion and purpose on the path to leadership will make it all worthwhile.

As I summarized in my keynote it will ultimately come down to listening to your heart and trusting yourself.  Identify your Yonder Star and the next steps on your path to fulfilling it and get to work. Be courageous, authentic, collaborative, compassionate, patient, and persistent. The joy is in the journey and the learning along the way. Be thankful that you are one of the people who will have the opportunity to live a meaningful life!

About half the class from the World Academy of Women

This week I am privileged to be speaking to the women of  The World Academy for the Future of Women at SIAS International University in Xinzheng City, Henan Province, People’s Republic of China.  For the past 18 months or so we have been working with Global Interactions and their President Jerrie Ueberle, (as well as others),  to co-create curriculum and a program for The Academy. In conjunction with this, their 4th Annual Women’s Symposium is also being held and my speech will be part of that symposium. Suzanne and I will be teaching at The Academy and participating in the symposium. This project has had an enormous impact on us here at 2130 Partners and has been an amazing learning experience.

The symposium is titled “Women Making a World of Difference: Putting Your Passion and Purpose on the Path to Leadership“ and I was asked to address the subject of  “Being Heard In A Man’s World.” I have to confess to some trepidation to doing this speech. What do I as an older Western male have to say to brand new graduates of a women’s academy in  China? I thought long and hard about this. Given my more than 30+ years experience as an investor activist for the end of world hunger I firmly believe the education and empowerment of women around the world is absolutely crucial to our collective global future. So after much reflection, here is the speech I will be giving:

Putting your Passion and Purpose on the Path to Leadership will require that you speak up, take risks, and be heard to move your goals from a dream to reality.  You will not be alone! Bold women around the world are stepping up and challenging traditional ways, with major consequences at the individual, family, community, and societal levels. They are insisting on being heard in a world where women’s voices have long been marginalized or ignored.

Pursuing your path to fulfillment will bring you up against many barriers and pitfalls and will require you to deal with things you can barely imagine now.

Today, I will outline a simple process to follow to make you most effective in your pursuits.  I will then point out a series of qualities for you to bring to your work to be successful. Lastly, I will address what will be required of men to be most supportive of you passion and purpose.  The work is hard and confronting, however, the satisfaction and rewards are enormous.

Women are clearing a path for you by moving into top leadership roles on a worldwide basis, more so in government than in large corporations. With the recent election of Laura Chinchilla as President of Costa Rica, the world has 26 women heads of state and government.  India passed a law in 1993 that required that 33% of all positions in local government, called Panchayati Raj, be women.  That law has allowed 1,000,000 women at the local level to take on leadership roles in their communities, which means more women in public office in India than in all of the reset of the world put together.  In addition, the Indian Parliament is currently debating a new law that would extend the 33% requirement to the national level in its own lower house.  China has 21% women in its National People’s Congress.  By contrast, the percentage of women in the US Congress and State Governors positions averages 17%. Representation of women among top corporate executives in the 1,000 largest US firms averages 15.7%.  While these numbers still don’t reflect the fact that women make up one-half of the world’s population and “hold up half the sky,” they do represent a significant number of women in influential roles.

As women achieve more powerful roles and higher incomes, however, a combination of old and new threats must be dealt with.  Traditional cultural practices are still producing great discrimination against women and girls, from employment and educational opportunities right down to the aborting of female fetuses and abandonment of female babies in very large numbers.  Estimates are that there would be over 100 million more women in the world if this were not taking place. In addition, fundamentalist religious sects are going to great lengths to suppress women across the world.  At the personal level, pressures for conformity to old ways exist in every community.

So what is the appropriate action?

First and foremost, you must pay close attention to these existing conditions we’re talking briefly about here today.  The work you will do to successfully fulfill your vision will take place in these conditions.  To be effective, you cannot wish them away, simply ignore them, or fight violently against them.

The process that will make you most effective is simple but it is not easy:

1)Develop a very clear expression of what your purpose and passion look like in the world when fully expressed.  In our company we call that your vision or your “Yonder Star.”

2)Make full, clear, and accurate account of the conditions that exist and in which you will be working.

3)Ask “what’s missing from my picture of my fulfilled vision today?” “Which of those issue would produce the most results in the shortest time and with the least effort if I get to work on it?”

4)Design projects to address that issue and get to work.

5)Monitor progress and redesign as necessary to fulfill your projects.

6)Keep going until you are building capacities and moving successfully toward your vision.

Remember, the key to effectiveness is to have your vision, pay attention to current circumstances, and focus your work in the gap between the two.

What will be required of you?

1) First and foremost, summon your courage. The courage that will be most valuable is what author and speaker David Whyte calls “developing a friendship with the unknown.”  Once you start on your path, you will have left your traditional, familiar surroundings and ways of relating to others and will be in unknown territory. If you are unwilling to be in that state and learn to become comfortable with being uncomfortable, don’t bother to get started.  You will be stepping out of historic roles and relationships and you will be insisting on what can and must be done to produce meaningful change.

2) Second, you must be willing to accept the consequences of your actions.  This does not mean, “be a victim.”  It simply says that all actions and even failure to act have consequences.  To be free to act effectively, you must be aware of the potential consequences and feel that the results are worth it. You must give up avoiding being criticized or thought of as weird. You will have to deal with rejection and pushback without taking it personally. The questions to ask are “what stops me now?” “Am I willing to focus on my vision and go past that barrier?” “Am I willing to have all of the consequences and not just the ones that are safe or that I call good?”

3) Third, focus on collaboration.  Develop strong alliances with other women who share your objectives.  Work together and support each other, especially when your courage is faltering, you can’t find your passion, and your purpose is blurred.  Find courageous men and teach them how to be your partners.  It won’t work to make men wrong, as that will just create a wall of resistance.  Success will involve teaching and enrolling them in how they will be better off by collaborating with you.  It works – my wife and I are living examples of equal partners who make great contributions to each other and our clients and community.

4) Fourth, summon compassion.  When you are causing change, some of the people around you, both men and women, will be threatened.  They won’t necessarily understand what you are doing or why.  Your family members may fear for your safety or that you will leave them.  Others may have their beliefs threatened or feel that they will be harmed in some way. Change of any kind, even good change, is an upset for people.  Forgive them for their resistance and help them understand the benefits.

5) Be patient.  Allow those around you to re-shape their relationship with you and with the changing roles of women in general. Balance the rate at which you are attempting to accomplish your work with their ability to absorb the changes you are bringing.

6) Develop and maintain your clarity- how do you intend your life to unfold?  What is the best path for expressing your passion and purpose? Remember, it is your life, so any path you freely choose is fine.  There are no right answers other than that!

7) Be authentic. The world has actually been waiting for you.  Be fully yourself, fully self-expressed, and let the world choose how much of you it wants and for what roles. You are the only person who has been genetically encoded to deliver what you offer by being fully you.

8 Be persistent. You will be amazed at how many excuses and seemingly very good reasons you will come up with to change or give up. Stay on your path (strategy) or get back on it when you stray.

9) Surrender.  If you have a really big passion and purpose, you will be immediately and often confronted by thoughts like “I’m insufficient,” “I don’t know how,” “I’m scared to death,” and “I’ll never get good enough fast enough to reach my Yonder Star!”  Success will require that you reach out to find team members and identify successful strategies.  When you get stuck, ask, “Who are my missing team members?” and “What are the missing strategies?”

What does this require of men?

1)  Enlightenment.  To receive the benefits of having powerful, effective women in their lives, men will have to be willing to be open to the opportunity and to not know how it is going to turn out. They will have to suspend their instant, automatic, and unexamined beliefs about women and the roles women should play.  They will have to be present to the opportunities before them.

2) Recognition.  To be able to partner effectively with women and benefit from their newfound power, men must realize and own that they discount or ignore women’s voices.  This will be extremely difficult for many men, as they do not realize that they do it currently.  The adjustment may be threatening or painful and they may experience a sense of loss.

3) Courage. Men who step up to being real partners with women may still face times when they feel threatened by the situation or the strength of the woman or women around them.  Further, they may have to stand the ridicule of other men who see them as weak or stupid. As with women, it will require developing a friendship with the unknown.  They won’t necessarily know what to expect from women or how to handle what is being said or done to them.

4) Action. In addition to all else, men will have to see and act on the opportunity offered by being in equal relationship with women whether as romantic partners, co-workers, or members of their community.

Ultimately, for both women and men, it will come down to listening to your heart and trusting yourself.  Identify your Yonder Star and the path to it and get to work. Be courageous, authentic, collaborative, compassionate, patient, and persistent. The joy is in the journey and the learning along the way. Go forth and prosper!

In a rather reflective one-to-one the other day, one of our clients said, “Your availability in a world where nobody is ever available, (mentally, emotionally and physically), is greatly appreciated.”  This comment has unleashed a whole inquiry in which I have been examining the implications for my life and work. What does it mean “to be available” to others? Particularly if you are a leader? 

At the Individual Level
If you look at your individual availablity in the first person, meaning from the “I” level. What does it mean? When I consider it, the questions that come up for me are:  ”Am I present to the day – to the sights, sounds, and sensations of the physical world?  Do I notice the birds singing, the waves rolling up on the beach, the sun and moon rising or setting, or the sea lions barking in the middle of the night?  If I do, how do I interact?  Do I miss it all because I’m lost in my own thoughts, opinions, judgments, etc.?  How would it change my life and well being if I got very, very conscious and dramatically increased my experiences of these things?” 

Pushing it a bit further, consider this from a leadership perspective:  ”Am I available to hear what those around me are saying that could accelerate the quality of my experience, my life, and even my strategic direction?  Am I willing to be impacted by the things that people who care about and appreciate are saying to me/about me?  Would I be a bigger person? How much richer might life be and how big would I play?”

At the Relationship Level
If you consider your availability in your relationship to others, at the level of “we,” what does that mean? When you are interacting with others, can you be fully available to them?  What would that mean?  How can you do that, given all of your commitments?  Does this seem overwhelming?  What if being available has nothing to do with time or space and only to do with how present and open you are? How quiet your mind gets so you can hear what others are saying, whether it’s in person, on the phone or even in an email or text?  Rather than rattling around with your own thoughts and feelings, what if you just really listened, and asked questions and didn’t judge?

With clients and colleagues, can you listen newly to them or are you just listening to the noise in your head about what you are going to say next? Are you focusing on what you think about what they are saying, or whether they are on the right or wrong path?  What if you weren’t coming from knowing, rather just being there for them, being a generous listener, and asking questions that perhaps help them gather their own thoughts more clearly?

“Available” – What Does It Really Mean?

 According to the Answers.com dictionary it means:

1. Present and ready for use; at hand; accessible

2. Capable of being gotten; obtainable

3. Qualified and willing to serve or assist

4. Chemistry. Capable of being used in a chemical reaction

5. Botany. Present, as in soil, and capable of being used by plants as a nutrient

The more I consider these definitions the more I like them all when applied back to this inquiry. 

I invite you to consider a commitment to being present and accessible, willing to serve and be used by another to cause a catalytic reaction in their lives, (remember your chemistry here: a catalyst causes a reaction and is not used up in the process), and to be a source of nourishment essential for growth and the maintenance of life.